PARADISA LOST

[a few moments of idle pen-tapping] Been here about five months now. ...This had better not turn into five bloody years, Paradisa. Or worse yet, fifteen. I think I'd rather go mad again than be stuck on this miserable rock for fifteen years.

I dunno about you lot, but I could do with a party. Complete with copious amounts of booze, and dancing.

Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.

Discuss. Unless you're an astrophysicist, then I'll just laugh at you.


[Clearly, bored Ford is bored. Humor him. And feel free to spot him if you're somewhere in the vicinity of Caritas, which is where he's having a drink or five, his journal open next to him.]

[groans, waking up after a few days of being unconscious] What in the name of zarking fardwarks...this isn't Krikkit. No grass, no trees, no charming inhabitants who just happen to want to destroy the entire universe...[glances around his room, finally recognising where he is, and facepalming] Knew that all had to be a dream. I mean, landing in the middle of the Lord's bloody Cricket Ground on a sofa thanks to an eddy in the space-time continuum, after four years of going mad on prehistoric Earth? Really? And you know, that whole bit where I actually wanted to save the universe for once. ...Think I could use another party. Preferably one that's not interrupted by a giant warship and killer Krikkit robots.

[Ford has decided that if he is going to spill any secrets, he might as well get drunk and do it the normal way! Take that, castle. B/ So Ford is down at the Lux, going through an impressive number of drinks with his journal open.]

Zarquon, I hate being stuck here. It's worse than being trapped on Earth for 15 years, at least I never died there. I still can't believe Zaphod showed up for a party in Islington of all places and never picked me up. Bastard. But he sort of made up for it by randomly saving me from certain death, which I'm clearly not fond of at all. Unless it's Death personified, he is one hoopy frood. Despite that whole dying thing, that is, which was really not hoopy. Two weeks, baby, two weeks. Granted, it's not like I'm not used to being alone in the general sense, interstellar hitchhiking isn't exactly the best gig for lengthy relationships of any sort, but that was overkill. ...No pun intended. On the plus side, I got to haunt my two bestest friends in the entire multiverse, and I really hope you froods aren't still blaming yourselves.

So, I spent 15 years on Earth, and I get this Valentine's Day thing about as much as I get Christmas. Far as I could tell, the holiday was either named after a couple of Christian martyrs named Valentine, or, a guy named Saint Valentine who cut out his heart after being rejected and sent it to his mistress. Somehow this all lead to flowers, candy, and greeting cards? ...Granted, Earthlings are a carbon-based bipedal life form descended from an ape, so they get some leeway for rationality skills, but seriously?

[Ford actually managed to make it to his own room after the party, but only because it's on the second floor. Had it been any higher, he would've passed out in the hallway. He groans a bit upon waking up, cursing his hangover.] ...Has anyone seen my shirt? That was a nice shirt. [pause] Death is a frood, man. Fantastic dancer, great conversation, the whole package. Shame he can't drink.

( filtered to Turlough )


Okay, I'll admit this little pokewhatsit has grown on me, penguin-ness aside. Literally, too, he evolved the other day. I'm so proud. [sniff]

In other news, I've been writing up an entry on Paradisa for the Guide. Might put up a bit of it once things go back to...er, normal. Well, as normal as this place ever gets, anyway.

Good luck to anyone trying to stop that vampire, or whatever. I'd help, really, but my doctor says that I have a malformed public duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fibre and that I'm therefore excused from saving universes.