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reeve tuesti

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[The page is covered in technical sketches and random doodles, most of which have been scratched out so much the paper's torn; random water spots have blurred the ink in places]

~~I couldn't~~ ~~I never wanted~~ ~~I only meant~~ [scribbled out]

Never again. Not when I only ever hurt the ones I [words blurred out by drops of water] most in life. Even when I try to help, it only causes pain. Only pain. Only- [more water droplets]

Vincent... I'm so sorry.

[transcribed: very faint voices murmuring over the drawings]

Here's another icepack... sure y' don' want somethin' t' kill the pain? S' gotta be hurtin' like th' devil....

I'm fine, Cait. But thank you.

.... Right. Yer still blockin' me. Why?

[more added sketches, all of which are scribbled out moments after being drawn] ... nn.

((ooc: go look at this log for an explanation... or tl;dr version: Talk, heartbreak, angst, and hitting. Mostly angst. D: ))

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Are you okay, Mr. Tuesti?

... I'm fine, Dr. Crescent. Thank you.

[Private;]

If you should... see Vincent anytime soon... please, keep an eye on him.

... ah?

It's nothing time cannot heal.

[Private;]

It's a private matter, but... just watch out for him. Please. I have to know someone will be there for him if he needs it.

If you say so, Mr. Tuesti.

[private]

I always am.

... how are you enjoying your color vision, Aeris? I imagine you've missed it. Are your plants doing all right?

Reeve..

[a pause]

.. it's been wonderful. Have you seen the mural in the clinic? It's gorgeous, and I'm so happy to be able to see it, finally.

Well .. my original garden was killed off by the weather changes.. but I'm working on a new one!

[a pause, then a few false starts, but she crosses them all out with a soft sigh]

I haven't yet. I should. And you might want to check the town- they may have some bulbs or seeds there you can use.

... is something wrong?

((ooc: men are so oblivious. 8D ))

Well, there's no one there right now, but I might go looking around anyway.. Reno said it was peaceful.

[another sigh] Reeve. I should be asking you that question.

((OOC: XDDDDDD Aeris is just like ... but. You. I. You're not supposed to be asking ME that. D: -pets Reeve- ♥))

...

[Private;]

... that obvious, is it? Mmm. I'll... I'll be all right. I just made a mistake. I made a mistake, and I hurt ~~him~~ someone. I'll know to never do that again, at least. [a strained laugh]

Yes, a little bit.

I don't believe you. Reeve.. please, you can trust me. I don't want to see you so sad.

And please.. you blame yourself for so much, but .. you're only human.

... mmm. The saying is true, you know? We only hurt the ones we love. And that seems to be... the only thing I can do for them. Hurt them. Perhaps... ~~it's time I stopped trying~~ [scribbled over]

Don't mind me, Aeris. I'll be fine.

Reeve?

...hmm? Oh. Hello, Wolfina. I'm sorry, I've been a bit... out of it. Are you all right?

Yeah, I'm fine. Thought some stuff over.

But what about you?

Good. I'm... glad to hear it. Ah, I'm fine-

[Private;]

... It's nothing, Wolfina. He's overreacting.

....

Or maybe you're just trying to make it seem less than it is so I don't worry?

Reeve. Don't make me come down there.

... I deserved what I got, Wolfina. I never should have told him....

Tell me what happened.

You listened to me, so I want to return the favor.

... I've hurt Vincent. I didn't mean to, he asked, and I couldn't... I couldn't lie to him and... I never should have told him. Never should have... he was right to hit me, I didn't mean to....

I should never love someone. Not when I hurt them in the end.

......

Reeve, has anyone ever told you how stupid you can be sometimes?

Love hurts. It hurts and sometimes the hurt isn't really ever compensated for. But with any other emotion, we can't help but feel it. And so when love strikes you down, all you can do? Is get back up again and try to fix things.

I can tell you that if you hadn't told him it'd hurt you even more. Situations like that can be lose/lose, but we have to make those sort of decisions sometimes! You can regret it, but what does regret do? It bogs you down. Emotionally, which ends up in physically, and you either end up a wimp and give in, or you end up strong and overcome it.

Maybe he wasn't ready to hear it. That's fine. Give him his space for a while, then see if you can't either act on it or at least stay friends. From there, you've just got to do the best you can to keep. Walking.

Now stop being stupid.

[OOC; ... whenever my muses give motivational speeches it always ends up rambly. xD;]

[a very, very long pause, as if trying to compose himself, and a sigh]

The fact that he is now hurting means that I failed. I can deal with my own problems. That's not the issue. I know he has issues with the concept- I should never have said anything to begin with. It doesn't matter if it hurts me! It's a pain I'm used to. I can live with it. It only matters... that I caused him pain. I can give him all the space in the world if that's what it takes. The fact of the matter is that I should never have said anything to begin with.

I know love hurts. I know it like I know the sky is blue. I've spent thirty-eight years of my life learning that lesson over and over and over again. I've given it to others and had it it thrown back when it was no longer needed, I've had them die because I failed to protect them. And it's not fair to them to be saddled with my emotions... nor is it fair to me to try.

You're right. I am being stupid. Forgive me, Wolfina.

So you made a mistake! It's a human thing to do! And if you've spent thirty-eight years of your life learning that love hurts, than you should know that by now too! People make mistakes. Mistakes might hurt you, or it might hurt others, but as long as no one winds up dead there's still time to make up for it, right?!

I love you, Reeve. Dearly and truly. You're one of the best people I've met due to this place, but sometimes I just don't get you.

[a heavy sigh, and a pause to relax herself]

Maybe I'm not good at this whole motivational speech thing. But all I know is that I hate seeing you beat yourself up so badly, and don't you dare say you deserve it.

... heh. I... thank you, Wolfina. I... you're a dear friend and... mm. I love you too, even when you're turning me over your knee for a proverbial spanking.

... I suppose I worry... because that's happened before. More than once. That people actually have ended up... dying... either before I could make up for it or because I-

[a pause and unintelligible muttering from what sounds like Cait, followed by a thumping noise and a quiet 'ow']

... Well, Cait agrees with you and smacked me to get his point across, so.... heh. I suppose I should just take my lumps like a man and hope that I won't lose what I have.

((ooc: xD <3 for Wolfina. Too bad Reeve has like zero confidence in himself. 8D ))

Tell Cait I said thanks in that case~

I have a feeling it'll be okay. But for now? Go take some pain medication and relax before you explode, please.

♥

[OOC; xDD She's such a mother, I swear to god. PFFT, WOLFINA'S CHANGING THAT. >/]

... heh. Yes, mother. ... thanks.

[laughter] No problem! It's what I do~ Now, if he'll just lighten up!

What're friends for, right? No need.

You okay, Reeve?

...mmm. I'm fine, thank you, Olivia.

[Private;]

... this may be a forward question, but... as an impartial observer... how does one deal with a change in a working relationship? I know you were a professional before you came here... not many I know understand that.

Well, I guess it depends on what kind of change it is. But in a general sense, and trying to be as impartial as possible? ...I don't think there's really one right way to go about it. Sometimes you can adjust and work around it, and sometimes things are so awkward that you can't stick around anymore.

I honestly can't be too impartial when it comes to this, because I've got some experience.

The hell happened to you now, Reeve?

Shit, must be somethin' if it's the damn cat takin' care of you, instead of the other way around.

[[ooc; aaaaand the Reeve muse finally pulls my Cid muse out of wtfever he's been on lately?]]

... Cid. I've been... wondering where you've been hiding, chief. Was starting to get worried.

[Private;]

... I've ruined things, Cid. I've ruined it... I hurt him and now I don't... don't know....

((ooc: ladhgjhjkg; CID *glomps* T_T We missed him! And he's just in time for things to go all to hell. *dies* I gotta go for the night, too ._. Later, maybe? <3 REEVE NEEDS HUGS.))

Working on shit. Eyesight tends to be good for that.

[Filter;]

I'm gonna go out on a limb here and guess that him is Vince?

I bet that'd right, but enough of your vague shit.

Are you going to tell me what happened, or not?

[[ooc; Yes! I'm sorry for his slump ._.;; Definitely later! ♥]]

heh. Good point. By the way, do you have a T-square in your room? I just broke mine and I can't finish these blueprints otherwise.

[Filter;]

What's there to say, Cid? I was an idiot, I pushed too hard, and I hurt him. He's too good at reading people, you know. Suppose it's the Turk training... and with his memories back, I forgot just how well he knows me. So I told him the truth... and it scared him. I tried to smooth it over, and it pissed him off even worse. He accused me of lying to him, that nothing could ever work if I was unable to be truthful to even my own friends... so I gave him the absolute truth. And he hit me. He's got a mean backhand, by the way.

So now... I suppose I give him his space, and hope like hell I haven't ruined everything.

Yeah, I've got one. Lemme finish this next line or two and I'll bring it over.

[Filter;]

Aw, hell.

What is it with you Reeve?

'cause almost more trouble than you're worth. Almost.

You two going to work this shit out, or do I have to come play the responsible one?

... heh. Sometimes I wonder why you people put up with me in the first place.

I think... we'll work it out. Wolfina's already turned me over her knee, I don't need another spanking. The problem is my own... I just worry I've upset him. As long as he's all right, then I'll be fine.

Going to have to thank her for that. Saved me some trouble.

Then I'm going to leave this shit alone, let you two work it out.

Don't make me regret that, or I'll kick both your asses.

Mmm.

No, don't... don't be frustrated with him, Cid; this was entirely my fault. It'll work out. Don't worry. I'll do whatever I have to to make sure it does.

... but thanks.

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