(no subject)

[littleblackcait.livejournal.com]

[The page is covered in technical sketches and random doodles, most of which have been scratched out so much the paper's torn; random water spots have blurred the ink in places]


I couldn't I never wanted I only meant [scribbled out]

Never again. Not when I only ever hurt the ones I [words blurred out by drops of water] most in life. Even when I try to help, it only causes pain. Only pain. Only- [more water droplets]

Vincent... I'm so sorry.


[transcribed: very faint voices murmuring over the drawings]

Here's another icepack... sure y' don' want somethin' t' kill the pain? S' gotta be hurtin' like th' devil....

I'm fine, Cait. But thank you.

.... Right. Yer still blockin' me. Why?

[more added sketches, all of which are scribbled out moments after being drawn] ... nn.


((ooc: go look at this log for an explanation... or tl;dr version: Talk, heartbreak, angst, and hitting. Mostly angst. D: ))

Comments

[Private;]

[littleblackcait.livejournal.com]

... I've hurt Vincent. I didn't mean to, he asked, and I couldn't... I couldn't lie to him and... I never should have told him. Never should have... he was right to hit me, I didn't mean to....

I should never love someone. Not when I hurt them in the end.

[Private;]

[tripodofjustice.livejournal.com]

......

Reeve, has anyone ever told you how stupid you can be sometimes?

Love hurts. It hurts and sometimes the hurt isn't really ever compensated for. But with any other emotion, we can't help but feel it. And so when love strikes you down, all you can do? Is get back up again and try to fix things.

I can tell you that if you hadn't told him it'd hurt you even more. Situations like that can be lose/lose, but we have to make those sort of decisions sometimes! You can regret it, but what does regret do? It bogs you down. Emotionally, which ends up in physically, and you either end up a wimp and give in, or you end up strong and overcome it.

Maybe he wasn't ready to hear it. That's fine. Give him his space for a while, then see if you can't either act on it or at least stay friends. From there, you've just got to do the best you can to keep. Walking.

Now stop being stupid.


[OOC; ... whenever my muses give motivational speeches it always ends up rambly. xD;]

[Private;]

[littleblackcait.livejournal.com]

[a very, very long pause, as if trying to compose himself, and a sigh]

The fact that he is now hurting means that I failed. I can deal with my own problems. That's not the issue. I know he has issues with the concept- I should never have said anything to begin with. It doesn't matter if it hurts me! It's a pain I'm used to. I can live with it. It only matters... that I caused him pain. I can give him all the space in the world if that's what it takes. The fact of the matter is that I should never have said anything to begin with.

I know love hurts. I know it like I know the sky is blue. I've spent thirty-eight years of my life learning that lesson over and over and over again. I've given it to others and had it it thrown back when it was no longer needed, I've had them die because I failed to protect them. And it's not fair to them to be saddled with my emotions... nor is it fair to me to try.

You're right. I am being stupid. Forgive me, Wolfina.

[Private;]

[tripodofjustice.livejournal.com]

So you made a mistake! It's a human thing to do! And if you've spent thirty-eight years of your life learning that love hurts, than you should know that by now too! People make mistakes. Mistakes might hurt you, or it might hurt others, but as long as no one winds up dead there's still time to make up for it, right?!

I love you, Reeve. Dearly and truly. You're one of the best people I've met due to this place, but sometimes I just don't get you.

[a heavy sigh, and a pause to relax herself]

Maybe I'm not good at this whole motivational speech thing. But all I know is that I hate seeing you beat yourself up so badly, and don't you dare say you deserve it.

[Private;]

[littleblackcait.livejournal.com]

... heh. I... thank you, Wolfina. I... you're a dear friend and... mm. I love you too, even when you're turning me over your knee for a proverbial spanking.

... I suppose I worry... because that's happened before. More than once. That people actually have ended up... dying... either before I could make up for it or because I-

[a pause and unintelligible muttering from what sounds like Cait, followed by a thumping noise and a quiet 'ow']

... Well, Cait agrees with you and smacked me to get his point across, so.... heh. I suppose I should just take my lumps like a man and hope that I won't lose what I have.


((ooc: xD <3 for Wolfina. Too bad Reeve has like zero confidence in himself. 8D ))

[Private;]

[tripodofjustice.livejournal.com]

Tell Cait I said thanks in that case~

I have a feeling it'll be okay. But for now? Go take some pain medication and relax before you explode, please.

♥


[OOC; xDD She's such a mother, I swear to god. PFFT, WOLFINA'S CHANGING THAT. >/]

[Private;]

[littleblackcait.livejournal.com]

... heh. Yes, mother. ... thanks.

[Private;]

[tripodofjustice.livejournal.com]

[laughter] No problem! It's what I do~ Now, if he'll just lighten up!

What're friends for, right? No need.