Thirteenth Shot

[girly-laps.livejournal.com]

[Sister has found Tex in the duckpond and is currently throwing pieces of bread for her. Not that Sister knows this is Tex. That would be asking for much too high of a brain function. She has her journal open beside her]

So..who was having tentacle sex? Because, man, that would have been SO awesome. Can you bring the tentacle sex thingie back? I'll look after it, I SWEAR.

Comments

[girly-laps.livejournal.com]

...No way, tentacles are totally for sex. You eat with FORKS.

[encryptedlock]

No, Sister. You eat with forks. A squid eats with tentacles.

[girly-laps.livejournal.com]

...No, I saw a documentary with a squid eating with a fork. And then it played the trumpet. TV can teach you SO much.

[encryptedlock]

Cartoons are not documentaries!

[sob why does he even try]

[girly-laps.livejournal.com]

[Because he's York and deep down he still feels the need to try?]

...But what about those ones where they have the girl bunny and the boy bunny and it teaches you about safe sex?

[encryptedlock]

[...Probably, yeah.]

Sister, have you ever once actually had safe sex?

[girly-laps.livejournal.com]

Is it safe when the guy says he's gonna withdraw?

[encryptedlock]

Condoms, Sister. Condoms are safer than withdrawing. Especially if we're talking about boys your age. They have no self-control.

[Not that she does.]

[girly-laps.livejournal.com]

[Self control? What is this?]

Awwww but condoms are for losers.

[encryptedlock]

No, see, because preventing things before they happen is better than dealing with them after they happen.

[...She's not going to buy that, is she.]

Also, condoms are cheaper than medications or abortions.

[girly-laps.livejournal.com]

[No, but the last one worked]

...Seriously? They are?

[encryptedlock]

[He can appreciate the financial appeal.]

Yep. And you can get party-colored ones.

[girly-laps.livejournal.com]

YOU CAN?

Fucking A!

[encryptedlock]

Give it a try next time the castle lets you, yeah?

[girly-laps.livejournal.com]

Schyeah. Ok. But only if they're really cool party colours.

And don't have elephants or puppies on them.

[encryptedlock]

Pretty sure you can get them without the elephants and puppies but still in cool colors.

...Hell, you could probably get the kind with glitter and fruit flavors, if you want.

[girly-laps.livejournal.com]

...

They have flavours?

[encryptedlock]

Okay, if you didn't even know that, you've really been doing it wrong.

[girly-laps.livejournal.com]

I never used them before, I didn't know!

[encryptedlock]

Makes the experience better for everyone, and it's easier to clean up after.

[girly-laps.livejournal.com]

But I like it diiiirty. It's not fun if there aren't any sloppy seconds.

[encryptedlock]

...Somehow, I have a feeling you'd make it dirty just by being there, Sister.

[girly-laps.livejournal.com]

[She sounds SO proud]

Hell, YEAH, I do! Wooop-Wooop!

[encryptedlock]

...You are really a strange person, you know that?

[girly-laps.livejournal.com]

THANKS, I know!