Thirteenth Shot

[girly-laps.livejournal.com]

[Sister has found Tex in the duckpond and is currently throwing pieces of bread for her. Not that Sister knows this is Tex. That would be asking for much too high of a brain function. She has her journal open beside her]

So..who was having tentacle sex? Because, man, that would have been SO awesome. Can you bring the tentacle sex thingie back? I'll look after it, I SWEAR.

Comments

[girly-laps.livejournal.com]

[He really does, especially around this one]

Because it's my loss. The castle doesn't want me to get laid because it's a whore.

[capricious_god]

The castle made you lose... what? Your underwear? [this is the first time he's heard of a loss that gave someone something, so he's curious]

[girly-laps.livejournal.com]

Who wears underwear anymore?

Nah, it stopped me from having sex. LAAAAAME.

[capricious_god]

So, you can't have sex - or it's just difficult because of the whole, chastity belt situation?

[girly-laps.livejournal.com]

WELL, I've tried to get guys to do me, and we get REALLY close, then they see the spikes and FREAK OUT and run away like pussies.

[So in other words, she doesn't know]

[capricious_god]

Yeah... uh... [slight panic in his tone] I could see how that'd be difficult.

[girly-laps.livejournal.com]

It's the worst loss EVER, Nerd. I can't have nay fun.

[capricious_god]

At all? I mean... uh. Like, there's [clears his throat, because yeah, he's a MAN] other fun things, that aren't you know, just sex.

[plus, now you've got him thinking] What about, I don't know... [huh... yeah his brain is working overtime] ...attachments?

[girly-laps.livejournal.com]

[Don't worry, Chuck. Sister registers NONE of your discomfort. That would mean she'd need some sort of emotional ability besides 'fun' and 'anger']

Attachments? Like...vaccum hoses?

[capricious_god]

Well, uh... I mean, not that. Not really, but I mean the internet had about a hundred sites or more with all sorts of contraptions to help... with uh, unusual problems.

Maybe, I don't know, maybe they can get retrofitted.

[girly-laps.livejournal.com]

...You mean there's a sex shop here? Fuck! I've never seen it. Show me!

[capricious_god]

Oh. I haven't, I mean, I don't think there's one here.

Uh, there's wishing for things though. I mean, or maybe you could open a shop.

[girly-laps.livejournal.com]

Ew that sounds like work.

HEY, CASTLE, I WANT SEX TOYS. GIMMIE!

[capricious_god]

You... uh, probably have to be, you know, specific.

[girly-laps.livejournal.com]

...But I want them ALL.

[capricious_god]

You're gonna need a lot of batteries...

[girly-laps.livejournal.com]

I can wish for them, right?

[capricious_god]

You could, yeah. I'd probably recommend rechargeable, just for the environment.

[girly-laps.livejournal.com]

Pffft, who cares about the environment? It's done nothing for me.

[capricious_god]

It's... uh, it's given you warm weather?

I could look into the toy thing, I mean, for... Yeah, for your problem.

[girly-laps.livejournal.com]

Summer is pretty awesome. I can wear bikinis even if this stupid belt makes me look fat.

...You will? That would be AWESOME! I'll totally repay you in sexual favours or something.

[capricious_god]

Uh, yeah. I mean, I'm a writer - so it's sort of like research.

Uh, though, who are you? [LOL he's been chatting away, not even knowing who he's talking to]

[girly-laps.livejournal.com]

Wow, you write stuff? You must be REALLY smart.

I'm Sister!

[capricious_god]

Well, I was a writer. I just, I don't write anymore. At least not here.

There's spellcheck and I have an editor, so I don't have to be really smart.

[a beat] I'm Chuck... and seriously? Sister? That's... well, I guess celebrities name their kids odd things. Pilot Inspektor... Coco... Apple... why not -

Yeah, so I can try to help.

Oh, that beach thing, maybe if you got a matching metal top - it'd be like fashion.

[girly-laps.livejournal.com]

Yeah but writing is still something really smart people do. Because you're good with...words and shit.

Huh? Oh, Mom called me Kaikaina, but everyone calls me Sister.

See? You're TOTALLY smart. That would be so HOOOOT.