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nurse-boy.livejournal.com(backdated to a week ago, the last night of Baby Week; faaaail)
[Rory knows it's the last night Tabetha will be here with him and Amy, so he's trying to make the most of it. He's made her favorite dinner--chicken nuggets with macaroni and cheese and broccoli--helped her make a blanket-and-cushion fort under Amy's direction, let her mess with his hair (there's one bottle of gel gone to waste), and allowed her to stay up late watching cartoons on the telly. Now he's gotten her tucked into bed and is reading her favorite bedtime story (or so she said]
Every day, Sir Topham Hatt came to the station to catch his train. "Hullo," he always said to Thomas. "Don't let the silly freight cars tease you. Remember, you have an important job as a special helper in the Train Yard."
[Tabetha has her blankets pulled up to her chin, listening raptly to Rory and hanging off his every word] Thomas is the best train on the whole island, right, Daddy?
One of them, yeah. There's lots of other good trains, remember? Right, so--There were lots of freight cars, and Thomas worked very hard pushing and pulling them into place. There was also a small coach and two strange things his Driver called cranes.
Cranes pick up heavy things and move them, because Thomas can't pick them up all by himself.
Right! Right, Tabs, exactly. Very good. "That's the breakdown train," he told Thomas. "The cranes are for lifting heavy things like engines and coaches and freight cars."
[Tabetha laughs and smiles] See, Daddy? I told you!
[Rory can't help but smile back, and reaches out to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear] One day, Thomas was in the Yard. Suddenly he heard an engine whistling ...
[the longer Rory reads aloud the drowsier Tabetha gets, and by the time he's finished the story the little girl is almost completely asleep. Rory sets the book aside and just watches her for a few minutes, looking at her chubby child cheeks and the way she looks just like both Amy and himself, and tries to imprint her face on his eyelids so he'll be able to take the memories and tuck them away safely for the rest of the year. It's funny--he knew she'd only be here for a week and he let himself get attached anyway, let himself fall into his desire to have a family with Amy someday. Being plastic, he assumes this is the only way he'll ever get to have one]
Sweet dreams, Tabs. We'll ... [he swallows] We'll see you in the morning.
[she shifts sleepily, a tiny smile appearing on her face] G'night Daddy.
[a lance of sadness hits him, and he bends down to drop a light kiss on her forehead. She smiles again and mumbles]
I love you, Daddy.
[and then he can barely speak past the sudden lump in his throat, only just managing to reply in kind. When he joins Amy in bed, he isn't able to fall into his rest state like he normally does. It's like he's waiting for the exact moment when Tabetha disappears. Even then, he doesn't manage to catch it--just one moment, he's slightly dozing, staring up at the ceiling and vaguely aware of the sound of both Amy and Tabetha breathing--and then the next, it's just Amy. It takes a moment or two to sink in before he sits straight up in bed; and sure enough, the small daybed they'd got for Tabetha is empty. Like no one had ever slept in it at all.
If Rory still had a heart, it would be breaking; as it is, he simply sits up and stares at that empty bed for the rest of the night, mourning the loss of his fake-pretend daughter once again, and mourning the loss of his dream, of the family and the quiet village life he'll never be able to have. He doesn't wake Amy up because he doesn't want to upset her. That will come later.
Besides, he needs his time to grieve alone before he has to shove it all aside and be strong for Amy. That's the way it always is]
((open to ... whatever. IDEK. Bedtime story stolen from the book 'Thomas' Big Storybook', which I nabbed from my son's room))
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