[there's the scratch of a needle and ... well, something that's not Leonard Cohen starts playing.]Wait a second. The fuck? --- But this is my ---
[Mark picks the record up off the turntable, checks it --]Okay, the castle's fucking with my records. This is NOT cool. ... I know I haven't taken this record off the goddamn turntable since I GOT here, and suddenly it ain't Leonard Cohen anymore. Doesn't even SAY "I'm Your Man" on the label. .... Eh, nothin' to do but roll with it, I guess.
[he puts it back on. it'll continue, in the background, as he goes about his business. anyone listening closely might notice a theme in the lyrics, though ... two words that've been cropping up increasingly]First off, the ol' weekly Welcome To Castle Wonderfuck greeting goes out to
Kaito,
Cole, and
Carolina! You've got a couple weeks to dig your toes in before we start getting zombie turkeys or possessed cranberry ooze invading our rooms, so get right on that, would'ja? I don't wanna hear you all whinin' about how you can't take it. I'm a vet, now, been here nearly a year. And if I can make it through all this crazy, fucked-up bullshit, SO CAN YOU!
In more mundane news, someone's starting a
Boys' Detective Club... and the Host Club was taking auditions last week. So ladies, you'll probably have all new hunks of cheesecake to drool over the next time they open the ballroom doors. Please. Drool responsibly. Bring napkins. None of us want to have to clean up after you.
So! Guy Fawkes night! I gotta tell you, the British sure know how the hell to put together a holiday! How about that, huh? First we
built little straw men, then we built
bonfires, and then we
SET 'EM ALL ON FIRE! My kinda' day, if you ask me! Yours truly used up his share of sparklers and chucked a good number of little straw men into the fire. My personal favorite was the little wicker castle I made, but I'm sure you all had your own personal little homages to be made... if you made one of those little dudes, what'd he end up lookin' like? Your ex? Your parents? Some jackass back home that had it comin' to him? Or were you so fulla self-loathing that you made a little mini you?! Honestly, that might not be such a bad idea.
Lotsa places burn their land after they farm it so the grass can grow back greener for th' next year ... I remember learnin' that in social studies. -- Hey, gold star for Harry, he's actually using his mainstream education! -- But think of it this way: f'you burn up some little model of yourself, it could be like, I dunno, burnin' up everything you don't like about yourself so you can start fresh. Make a better start of it. .... And isn't that kinda what some people are doin' here, anyway?
Food for thought. Just don't overeat, kids. The mental equivalent of a stomachache is a bitch. Just sayin'.