[at ten o'clock on the dot, "Everybody Knows" starts playing over the journal. those who were around last Monday may find it sounds familiar...]Okay, it's ten o'clock. So, clear the cotton candy out of your ear canal, get up off that pile of wrapping paper you still haven't thrown away, and listen up, Paradisa. That's right, it's time for Happy Harry Hard-on's weekly take on the castle.
SO, that's what you people call a world change, huh? Other than a sugar coma and a little
unique insight into everyone else's subconscious, I'm not sure it was much to write home about. Or, at least --- I know YOU ALL don't think it was much to write home about.
[there's the pop and hiss of a can of soda, and then a little flail, as he spins around in his chair and knocks ... something over]COME ON, EVERYONE, WAKE UP! GET WITH THE PROGRAM! YOU WERE ALL FOUR INCHES HIGH,
WALKING AROUND A DOLLHOUSE, WHILE
TALKING RATS GEARED UP TO INVADE US! And what did we all do? "Whoop de do, down we go through the
massive gearshaft into Magical Candyland!" And you all acted like you were TAKING THE CROSSTOWN BUS TO GO STAND AROUND K-MART WITH A HAND DOWN YOUR SHORTS!
Does nothing faze you people? NOTHING AT ALL?!
LET'S GO, PARADISA! I wanna hear your hearts pumping! I wanna see your pupils dilate, I wanna get your blood pressure going! Are you all even ALIVE out there? Get ecstatic, get pissed, get wet or hard or horny or WEEP, I don't care WHAT you do! Just show me you're all real, out there! I'm beginning to wonder if there isn't a REASON this place was a dollhouse for forty-eight hours! Is there anything between your collective ears save for cotton and fluff?!
I had this big, long, introspective thing about dreams, and the intimacy of wandering around in someone else's head, and it was gonna be beautiful. It was gonna be thought-provoking, and deep, and I was gonna have tons of people writing in. I really was.
But then I realized that you're all in too big a sugar coma to appreciate it. So, hey. Maybe next week.
To all you newbies out there that just arrived? Leia, Neku, Anastasia, Liadri, Souji, Maeve, and Jason, if my ears serve me right? GOOD FUCKING LUCK, you're gonna need it. As for Suzaku? You lucky bastard. I hope you've got something good waiting for you at home.
The rest of you poor sorry shitheads? Hope you had fun in the candy shop.
[and he'll slam the CD door of his stereo shut and bash Play. hope you all like 50 Cent being blared over your journals at maximum volume]