paradisalost | Discoveries [Closed]

Who: Vanyel & Apollo
What: Vanyel is bringing in Yfandes after their day of joy bringing, and meets a friend in the barn - where there are sugarplum fairies.
When: After this
Where: in the barn
Warnings: sugarplum fairies, kissings, freaking out

Leaving the blue and silver sleigh out back, Vanyel led his Companion into the warmth of the stables. Despite all the work she had done, the Companion proclaimed herself not in the least tired, though she did proclaim to be cold. This, of course, Vanyel knew to be an invitation to pamper her with a warm mash and blankets and a good brushing. He could only laugh and shake his head, marveling at how the cold weather and the prospect of the this 'Christmas' holiday had put such a prance into his dear one's step. Truthfully, they both needed it after the months spent on the front lines fighting off demons and all manner of more mundane things that nonetheless left them bloodied, muddied, and tired. He knew she appreciated getting to be beautiful again and to bring something other than stark terror. It did get tiring, being called 'demons' and such by the Karsites.

"All right, there we go," he said warmly to her as he set down a hot mash for her at the entrance to her stall, the door left perpetually open.

He moved a bit to the side and began to stroke her mane, working the knots out of it, and began carrying on what, to most, would seem a very odd and one-sided conversation.

"No, of course you look lovely."

"Yes, I did enjoy today. It was nice. I cannot remember the last time I heard children laugh around us."

"Well, that is only because they do not know anything of me."

"We are supposed to inspire trust in ordinary folk. And no one there was Herald or knew my.... "legend"." This last word was said with some contempt.

"If I promise to try will you just eat your mash?" And now he almost growled, but his fingers still moved gently through his hair, not wanting to hurt his beloved despite his growing ire.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

In the back of his mind, Vanyel always did the same when it came to thinking of Tylendel. Like Apollo, he could never help it, though he managed to push that to the back of his mind, lest sorrow and somehow a feeling of guilt overwhelm him.

Still, the thoughts made him moan. He shifted, sliding his hips against Apollo in return, trying to think of the last time he had done this, and finding it very hard to think of it. When? Months? Years?

With a need he did not know he had his fingers slid beneath the top of Apollo's shirt, feeling warm skin and scratching along it, other hand kneading the thick bicep as his mouth continued to draw the other in, never wanting to part from it, not even for breath (though of course that was inevitable and did happen, if only for a fraction of a heartbeat).

Should he stop? Some part of him said he should, that there was something Apollo had said - a husband. Yes, a husband. But he wanted him to. Was the husband even here in the world? Was he alone? Was he alone like he was? Like he had been for so long?

The touch of Vanyel's hand almost suprised him enough to break away. He didn't know when this had escalated so far out of his control, or why he wanted so desperately to continue. He caught Vanyel's lower lip in his mouth and bit down on it gently. He felt...almost intoxicated, like he wasn't completely in control of himself. The touch of Vanyel's hand under his shirt was tempting but...

Suddenly he couldn't get the image of Midnighter out of his head. For every kiss he shared with Vanyel, he remember one between his husband and he and suddenly he broke away from Vanyel and his touch. He put a small distance between them so he could put a thought together. "I'm sorry. We...I...can't do this."

The kiss broke and Vanyel thought he almost whined because of it, but managed to keep that under control. When Apollo drew away he could feel himself coming back, feel the press of Yfandes in the back of his mind, not quite screaming, but clearly shocked at what had just happened.

Him too.

"No, no.... I understand I... great Havens, I would never have... you have a husband," he whispered. "How could I kiss a man with a husband?"

He felt like he had violated the man, his stomach churning sickly.

It was an odd relief that Vanyel looked as confused as Apollo felt. He had no idea how this could have happened and he'd been there the whole time. One minute they were talking normally and the next...they were doing way less talking and way more touching.

All the same the urge to comfort the man swept through him. He raised his hands, as if he were going to place then comfortingly on Vanyel's shoulders, before he thinks better of it. The last thing they needed was more contact.

"No, it's okay...I mean, it's not okay, obviously, but it's not your fault. I could have stopped it sooner-I should have stopped it sooner." He could feel the words pouring out of his mouth unchecked and unstoppable. He'd never felt this flustered before.

"You? I should have!" he groaned, sinking down onto his butt against the pole, running his hands through his hair. "I barely know you and I practically threw myself at you! Havens, am I so pathetic?"

Yfandes tried to seen him a soothing thought, but he blocked it, almost viciously, as he was wont to do when in his depressive moods.

He crouches down in front of him with a sympathetic look. "I don't think you're pathetic. There seems to be a lot of it going around. The kissing I mean. I don't think it's just us."

He didn't really know why he didn't put that together in the first place, but it didn't click into place until just now. Maybe they weren't totally to blame after all.

He looked him, those beautiful violet eyes confused, and so willing to fall back into blaming himself. It was an easy thing to do, a trait he had not quite shoved aside after Tylendel's death, despite his working at looking at the love of his life in a new way.

"I've heard a lot of people talking about it over the journal. Haven't you? Someone said something about fairies and the people who've been here a long time act like this happens every year."

Now that he was saying it out loud he knew how crazy it sounded. But since when was this place supposed to make any kind of sense?

He shook his head all the same.

"Still, I am sorry," he repeated, suddenly frowning and looking over at Yfandes, who gave him a consternating look in return, as if she had an eyebrow raised and he sighed and shook his head at her.

"Hey, forget about it. We'll just mark it down as another instance of the castle screwing with us." It would be easier that way and maybe if they did that it wouldn't be so awkward every time they see each other. Perfect logic.

"All right," he agreed, if reluctantly, rising from his spot in the straw and dirt, patting at his bum to get the debris off.

Yfandes nickered and he smiled softly at her, coming over to brush her muzzle.

"Lucky thing it did not effect you, eh girl?"

He stood up too, smile still plastered to his face. His gut told him that he should just leave this as is and take off. But that wouldn't be subtle at all and he didn't want Vanyel thinking he'd scared him off. He seemed like the type to jump to conclusions.

"Okay, so...we're good then?"

He looked at the man and nodded.

"Yes, we're.. 'good'," he said, as if the phrase were foreign to him, but one he was willing to accept as being positive. "Yfandes says the same..." A pause and he glowered at her and then sighed. "And she says not to be a stranger."

He gave Yfandes a wide smile and stepped towards her to pat her mane. "I won't be. I guess I'll leave you two to finish up here. Got to catch the sun before it goes down for the night." He walked to the exit of the barn and glanced over his shoulder. "I'll see you around."

Yfandes nuzzled the man in return on his cheek, her blue eyes twinkling with mirth. Vanyel watched him go and nodded, raising his hand in farewell.

"Yes, I suppose you will," he murmured.

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