paradisalost | [Thread: Cid, Reeve, and Vincent] Oh, baby, you so fine.

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[Thread: Cid, Reeve, and Vincent] Oh, baby, you so fine.

Who: Cid Highwind (

without_sky) Reeve Tuesti (

littleblackcait) and Vincent Valentine (

and_it_aches)
What: Vincent's bringing Reeve some male clothing, and invited Cid along for the ride~
Where: Reeve's room; 2315.
When: After Reeve's fifth post.
Rating: ... Jesus. PG-13? R? Dear, sweet God.

It was not as if Vincent was totally a heartless sort of being. He could certainly sympathize with Reeve--losing ones manhood had to be along the lines of losing ones humanity?--but there was also the small, minute fact that Reeve, in Vincent's opinion, had it coming. No one got away with calling Vincent womanly. In his Turk days, there would of been a violent outcome. In Paradisa, you were turned into a woman.

O, sweet karma. Thou bringest the worst of pains--nevermind the fact that this certain outcome was... Very, very, ironic and, consequently, amusing.

There was still a small, amused smirk on Vincent's face as he arrived on the twenty-third floor, a bundle of dark clothing in his arms that he hoped would fit Reeve, slowing to a quick walk. He first went to Cid's door, knocking on it with the knuckles of his metal claw.

"Cid," he called.

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Cid could be patient a man when waiting for something he wanted. He could be incredibly patient...but today, he was just too goddamn amused to be anything else. He killed the time waiting for Vincent to arrive by watching others reply to his other friend's distressed entry. This was the second (third?) entry of Reeve's that could be described using that word, but none of the others had been for quite the same reason as this.

"A fuckin' woman." the pilot chuckled, wide grin etched onto his face. Of all the crazy shit that had happened to all of them, over the years...

Well this just took the fucking cake.

When he heard Vincent's knock, Cid dictated a quick see-you-later to Wolfina and rose, tossing his journal over onto his bed.

"I'm comin'." He opened the door, and waited a second or two before walking out completely and shutting the door.

"I wouldn't miss this shit for the world."

In his- her?- room, Reeve was busy tangling with the evil contraption known as the 'bra' when he- she- he, dammit, because under the breasts and smooth skin and lack of facial hair he was still a man- heard the familiar metallic rap of Vincent's claw on his door. "Hold your chocobos, I'm coming," he grumbled, his voice slightly higher and softer- more feminine- than the norm.

Without giving it much thought, Reeve flung open the door to his room, hands on his rather curvy hips and glared at the two men on his doorstep. he was dresses- barely- in a pajama top that was half-unbuttoned and exposing cleavage marred by a line of stitches, the tails of the shirt long enough to provide what could very loosely be called modest covering of his butt.

"Oh thank Gaia," he breathed- and snatched the boxers out of Vincent's arms as soon as he saw them. "Be right back, just... I dunno, sit down somewhere?" he waved offhandedly at his bed- which was covered in a variety of extremely feminine undergarments- and dashed off into the bathroom, flashing leg and rear the entire way before the door slammed shut. "And no peeking, either!"

Those had to be the largest breasts he'd ever seen. And Reeve was barely keeping himself--herself?--covered. Vincent let Reeve take the undergarmets without a word, however, and shook his head as he stepped inside. He frowned at Reeve's scandalous shows of skin--he'd need to remind the man (gah, woman?) not to do certain things a man would do in public. Dressing appropriately would have to be a first.

If Vincent were a coarser sort of man, or one particularly interested in women that were not sweet Lucrecia... He glanced at Cid, and was guiltily grateful the man was unable to see Reeve in this state.

He sighed softly, and eyed the bed. "Will you have me throw these away?" he called to Reeve, padding over and plucking up a lacey red bra. He couldn't help the slight snicker.

It may not have been the first time, and definitely wouldn't be the last, but now more than any other time during his stay in Cair Paradisa...Cid really fucking wished he could see. How priceless of an image was this?? Speaking of image, maybe he could get Wolfina to take a picture of Reeve while the man was stuck. If there was any shot at getting his eyesight back, he'd take it just to see and laugh his ass off, again.

"Let me guess." Cid started off, moving into the room and shutting the door. "He's still dressed like a goddamn man, so he's gotta be flashing more skin then the hookers back in Midgar." The pilot shook his head, but was still grinning. "I wouldn't bother, Vince. The castle'll probably just shit him more. Besides. He needs 'em. How're we supposed to blackmail the bastard back home without pictures?"

"I don't care! Toss 'em out the fucking window if you want!" was the reply, unladylike words in a woman's voice. He was busily slipping on the boxers- actual coverage, thank Gaia, a bit tight in the rear but sufficient. Thongs weren't his thing, not after hearing Scarlet refer to hers as 'butt floss' on more than one occasion. He'd decided he never wanted to see the damn things.

Reeve could vaguely hear the two out in his room- a very quiet snickering from Vincent, and Cid's comments on blackmail. Bastards. So much for male unity. he tossed the shirt to one side and began tackling the rather difficult task of trying to put on the plainest bra he could find. ".... who the hell invented these things, anyway?" he grouched, trying to get the leverage to fasten the thing in the back without having other things pop out. Reaching backwards just made things jiggle- and it hurt, pulling at the still-healing cuts on his chest. "Oww, dammit!"

After a few more half-assed starts, he gave up. "Er.... could ne of you give me a hand?" Reeve was blushing furiously- this wasn't natural or right, but it wasn't his body- but at the same time it was and.... He stepped out, holding the bra up in one arm and covering everything on the chest- sort of- and made a vague waving motion at his back. he'd have to slap a band-aid over the place where his stitches had busted later, or else he'd bleed all over the damn things. "..... I kinda... can't get this thing fastened."

"Ara, Cid, hookers wear more clothing than Reeve in this state," Vincent murmured in reply, but took Cid's advice and began gathering the clean undergarmets and putting them back into the empty drawers. He had finished putting away all of the bras (carefully, of course, as to not rip the fabric) and ignored Reeve's commentary from inside the bathroom for the most part until he heard the opening of the door.

He then looked over, blinked, and sighed. "Reeve, the things I do for you..." he said, though with some mirth, and walked calmly over, eyeing the straps of the bra. He had seen how they clasp, but... Vincent glanced at his prosthetic and frowned before looking to Cid. "Cid, you'll have to help. I cannot use both hands," he murmured softly.

Thank Gaia it was only Reeve.

Cid, while both listening to Reeve bitch in the bathroom and. infering from all the walking, that Vincent was putting the clothes back, had been digging around in one of his pockets. He was just here for the laughs, after all, and couldn't actually be a whole hell of a lot of help, so why not relex against the wall and smoke one or two?

Why not, of course, unless Reeve Tuesti asked, in a feminine voice nontheless, for help putting on his bra. Why not, of course, unless Vincent Valentine insisted that Cid help, as he only had one hand to use.

The complete and utter seeming insanity of the situation made Cid want to burst out laughing again...but for some reason, he just couldn't. Maybe the entire fiasco had simply become too funny.

Whatever the case Cid just shook his head, grin returning to his face as he pushed himself away from the wall and put his lighter away.

"Sure~" he almost lilted, walking over to the bathroom area. "Why the hell not?"

"Thanks," Reeve muttered, still blushing- it was just now occuring to him that he was two scraps of fabric away from being buck-naked in front of his two best friends, and he was beginning to regret ever having asked them for help. Except that if he hadn't, he'd still be eyeing the pile of thongs and wondering if he could get away with just not wearing any underwear. "i'm... sorry for the trouble.

Gaia, this was humiliating in so many ways. But after the crack he'd made about Vincent being feminine... well, he could chalk it up to divine retribution at its worst. It wasn't his fault Cait has always been eye-level with the entire group's asses- although he was to blame for keeping said camera aimed at ones that were pleasant to look at instead of, say, peering at Red's or Barrett's. At the thought, he groaned and rubbed his forehead with one hand, waiting for them to buckle him up before venturing over to open the closet door.

"Maybe I should just hide under my bed until this week is out...."

"It is no trouble," Vincent replied gently, using Cid's hand for the lack of a proper left one, having Cid hold up the strap with the hooks so he could strap the thing appropriately. "I am sure we would of asked the same, if we were in the same position." He meant it to be a sincere comment, but it just sounded terribly smart assed.

Once they had Reeve at least somewhat decently strapped into the bra, Vincent folded his arms over his chest and watched as Reeve peered into the closet.

"I would not be against that idea," Vincent replied calmly. "It might be for the best."

For the life of him, Cid couldn't tell if Vincent was being serious, or making another awful joke. Chances were, he was being serious, but it could really be hard to tell with the guy sometimes.

When the bra was in place Cid, still feeling horribly amused but forgetting where the bed was to sit down in, leaned back against the wall again while Reeve rummaged for clothing. That's when the thought first hit him.

"First of all, he can't just hide out in here for a week. That ruins the entire fucking point!" 'Not to mention the potential for blackmail' was added mentally. "Second of all..." and this was where the idea that had struck him a moment before came in. "What's he got in the closet? 'cause as big a rack as he's got now, I doubt any of his old shit's going to fit right."

It was blunt and, probably, a little crude...but what more could be expected from Cid when it came to messing with a friend?

"He's either going to have ask for some new clothes, or Wolfina's gotta take him shopping." While most of his chatter hadn't been direct at anyone in particular, the last line was for Reeve: "Because I have no fucking doubt that you'd want either of us doin' that for you."

The closet was, thankfully, exactly as he'd left it when he'd gone to bed- dress shirts, tailored pants, a few pairs of jeans- and hidden among them all, something that looked like a frilly pink halter top and short-shorts. Reeve shoved those to the back of the closet, hoping like hell Vincent hadn't seen that- and feeling bad for being thankful Cid couldn't see it. "Cid has a point... though not about the 'point'," he mused, pulling out a shirt and slipping it on. "Unless one of you wants to bring me food and books and everything else I need for a week, anyway."

He fumbled with the buttons before realizing that, with things changed the way they were... his shirts wouldn't fit. The fabric wouldn't even meet up across his newly-flourishing bust, and when he tried, it held for a second before the button popped off and went flying. Reeve sighed and dug out one of the few pairs of jeans he had. "I'll have to put that old pajama top back on... oh come on!"

The jeans wouldn't fiteither, thanks to the extra padding on his butt. Groaning, he threw the useless pieces of clothing back in the closet, slammed the door and flopped backwards onto the bed, covering his face in his hands and trying not to scream. "... Vincent, could you dig out another pair of pajamas for me? I think that's all I have that'll fit." He peeked out to glare at Cid. "No, thank you. Knowing you, I'd end up running around dressed like the girls at the Honeybee Inn."

Vincent grunted as he opened one of the drawers, plucking out a dark pair of pajama pants and a matching shirt. He gently dropped the clothes onto Reeve's lying form. "And while I am sure Cid would be sincere in his attempts to dress you... Perhaps Wolfina would be able to find garments more appropriate."

He frowned, nevertheless. He saw nothing wrong with hiding out for week, but if Reeve was not willing, then there was nothing he could do about it. He picked up an empty plate--save a few crumbs--from the floor, setting it on the bedside table (after maneuvering the small stack of books away.)

"At least make sure you are covered," Vincent stressed, pointing a talon at Reeve. "You are... a woman now, Reeve."

Cid snorted at the comments directed his way, but didn't bother denying any of it. Dress Reeve up like a skank? It may have been twisted, but it would make one hell of a funny story for later. And really, what good was all this if not for a few laughs? And, of course, teaching Reeve not to make remarks about other people's 'womanly' asses.

"Wolfina, or one of the other women around here you've managed to chat up while you've been around. Though it's probably less likely that they'll laugh at your ass."

Hearing the way Vincent said it, didn't help at all.

The pilot snorted again, but this time to cover up a snigger.

"A woman, Reeve. So make sure you use the right fucking bathroom from now on, huh?"

[[ooc;...completely closed the tab and forgot to tag. -fails- So sorry! Dx]]

Grunting in thanks, he yanked the pants on almost savagely- tight, but not so tight that he'd bust the seat out. The T-shirt was just as uncomfortably tight, but it fit and didn't expose flesh... so he'd deal with it for now. "Lana offered to help me find some suitable clothing in the town. If she's busy, I'll drag Wolfina along. Somebody who knows something about women's clothes."

Reeve raised an eyebrow at the clawed finger being pointed at him, then grinned and swatted it away. "It's not polite to point, Vincent," he murmured, sitting back up and raking back his messy hair. "And like hell am I going to cross my legs and mince around on high heels. ... the bathroom thing I'll have to keep in mind, though." He scowled momentarily, looking a bit worried. "Oh Gaia, I hadn't even thought about that. Thanks, Cid." Reeve flopped back on the bed with a sigh and gave Vincent a wry, nervous grin. "... thank you both. Not sure what I would've done if I didn't have you two around to save my ass."

Well, at least Reeve was wearing pants as of now. Vincent drew back his claw before Reeve could touch it, crossing his arms over his chest and briefly rolling his eyes at the other.. (wo)man. "If we had not been around, I am sure you would of managed somehow," Vincent brushed the thanks off curtly. "That or take advantage of the fact you can now look at any rear end you please and not be slapped for it," Vincent mused more quietly, moreso to himself as he padded over to Cid and took a spot on the wall next to him, crossing one ankle over the other. Women had it much easier in the... perverted area, honestly. Men got beaten for commenting on a woman's chest, while women complimented eachother on it.

Not that Vincent was interested in complimenting on women's chests in the first place, but the point remained.

"If you must explore your new boundaries, at least try not to get molested, ne?" Vincent said rather seriously, frowning at Reeve.

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[Thread: Cid, Reeve, and Vincent] Oh, baby, you so fine.

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