paradisalost | 006

[When faced with dealing with a bad breakup, some people mope and cry. Others finish off whole pints of ice cream in one sitting. Julia, however, has chosen a more constructive outlet. For the past few hours at least, she's commandeered a table at the Paradisa Perk to write a letter venting out all of her feelings regarding Gwaine and the entire situation.

Which is all fine and good, except for one small detail. She has accidentally started writing parts of the very rough draft of this letter into the journal.]

You lied to me. You betrayed me. Do you know how much that hurts? I'm sure you can't even begin to understand how much. For what you did, I should never speak to you again. No, I should never forgive you. I thought you'd never hurt me like that. I can't look at you the same way ever again. I can't trust you anymore. I can't be with someone I can't trust.

[The pen pauses.]

But there isn't a day that goes by that I don't miss you. All I want is to hear the sound of your voice again. To wake up next to you. To let you call me your queen. I don't want to think about it, but it's all I can think about. I want for you to come back to me. Without you, there's a hole in my life I can't fill.

I lov--

[The writing suddenly stops.

... Yes, Paradisa. You now have front-row seats to something intensely personal that was never meant to be seen by anyone. It doesn't matter that the one who put it there is now frantically trying to scratch everything out. The damage has already been done.]

[[OOC: Friends loss! Anyone remember the 18-page letter that Rachel wrote to Ross and he fell asleep reading? This is something like that.]]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[She hesitates. Obviously, it'd be better just to keep the whole thing anonymous. If she did, she'd be maintaining that one last shred of her dignity. Better to let all those people who saw it stay faceless to her. Might make it easier to forget that this whole debacle ever happened....

But, at the same time, she is vulnerable at the moment, and she can't help but appreciate that kindness from complete strangers. Would it really hurt?]

I'm in the lobby.

Okay.

[a couple minutes later, he comes wandering in from the doorway that leads to Satis Tower, with a couple of mugs. it's not hard to find a forlorn-looking, embarrassed woman, all things considered, and he sits down at one of the coffeehouse tables, sliding the mugs between them]

Hi ... I'm Ray. We, uh, spoke over the journal? I thought you could use a drink. It's, uh, cider.

[the mugs are steaming rather invitingly, and they smell pretty damn good if he does say so himself]

With butterscotch schnapps. Figured it'd be a change from the coffee they've got down here.

[No, it really isn't. Even one who normally tries to hide these things with everything she has. There are some things that can't be hidden. Like complete and profound embarrassment.

Nevertheless, when she looks up to find this guy, and two mugs, in front of her, she'll try to look as cool and collected as possible. He hadn't just read her deepest thoughts spewing out into public like that. Oh no.]

Julia. [The contents of those mugs do seem rather inviting, and don't mind if she takes one. (The alcohol couldn't hurt either.)] And thank you.

Hey, any time. [he smiles, and hoists his mug in a silent toast before taking a cautious sip] It's nice to meet you, everythin' else aside. How long've you been here?

[It's only the polite thing to do to return the gesture, so that's what she does before taking a sip of her own. ... You know, maybe she doesn't usually drink this early in the day, but damn, she could make an exception. And maybe let that sip become two or three.]

Long enough.

[it's like a caramel apple got soaked in booze, then melted down and put in a glass]

So you know how weird it gets around here, then. ... Don't worry, sooner or later something'll go funky and it'll take your mind right off of everything.

[And it's pretty much the most heavenly thing ever. Not enough to make her completely forget her issues at the moment, but give her a few more mugs?]

That's reassuring. [No, she never took home the prize for best conversationalist.]

[he chuckles a little, more than willing to carry the conversation. he can talk for days if someone lets him. Julia knows not what she's gotten herself into]

Were you here when we all got kicked out of the castle for a few days and there were leaves everywhere? That sure rearranged my priorities. It was fun, though - I've always liked camping, ever since I was a kid. My aunt and uncle had a camp on Lake Waconda, in upstate New York, and we'd go out there every summer. Sometimes we'd spend a whole week away from the cabin, roughin' it out in the woods, just 'cuz we could ...

[She just might be getting a taste of that right now. Although, letting him go on and on like that is sort of ideally comforting, in its own little way. It prevents her from actually having to talk. Anything that prevents her from having to talk for as long as possible is a good thing.

She takes another sip.]

Interesting is more the word I was thinking of.

Well, it was that, too. I mean, there were always the wild animals to watch, and my uncle told some really great stories about when he was in the war - all the funny pranks they'd play on the commanding officers, that sort of thing. And my aunt would make little crafty stuff out of things we'd find in the woods - pinecones, flowers, broken branches ... they were really neat people.

[At that, she breaks out a smile. A tiny one, and it barely lasts two seconds. One of those blink and you'll miss it things. But, all the same, the look in her eyes does appear to be just the slightest bit lighter. Maybe it's the story, or maybe it's the butterscotch schnapps. Maybe it's a combination of both.]

I meant when we were locked out of the castle.

Oh! [he laughs, blushing a little] Sorry, I thought you meant -- I didn't mean to get carried away. That time with them, it just really meant a lot to me. But yeah, being outside like that was neat, too... I wonder where all those leaves came from, because there aren't that many trees on the grounds. And it wasn't windy enough to blow them over from the woods. At least, I don't think so...

[There's something about that laugh that's almost contagious. Though she doesn't join in, it's a significant contributing factor in making her feel better, despite herself.]

Who knows? [Who knows anything about this place?] There might be.

006 | written

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