006 | written

[itwas-raining.livejournal.com]

[When faced with dealing with a bad breakup, some people mope and cry. Others finish off whole pints of ice cream in one sitting. Julia, however, has chosen a more constructive outlet. For the past few hours at least, she's commandeered a table at the Paradisa Perk to write a letter venting out all of her feelings regarding Gwaine and the entire situation.

Which is all fine and good, except for one small detail. She has accidentally started writing parts of the very rough draft of this letter into the journal.]

You lied to me. You betrayed me. Do you know how much that hurts? I'm sure you can't even begin to understand how much. For what you did, I should never speak to you again. No, I should never forgive you. I thought you'd never hurt me like that. I can't look at you the same way ever again. I can't trust you anymore. I can't be with someone I can't trust.

[The pen pauses.]

But there isn't a day that goes by that I don't miss you. All I want is to hear the sound of your voice again. To wake up next to you. To let you call me your queen. I don't want to think about it, but it's all I can think about. I want for you to come back to me. Without you, there's a hole in my life I can't fill.

I lov--

[The writing suddenly stops.

... Yes, Paradisa. You now have front-row seats to something intensely personal that was never meant to be seen by anyone. It doesn't matter that the one who put it there is now frantically trying to scratch everything out. The damage has already been done.]


[[OOC: Friends loss! Anyone remember the 18-page letter that Rachel wrote to Ross and he fell asleep reading? This is something like that.]]

Comments

[nurse-boy.livejournal.com]

[wow, does he ever feel sorry for this girl. He'd say something back--that maybe this unnamed bloke didn't mean to betray her, didn't mean to lie, that maybe he had no choice or wasn't himself--but it's obviously something very personal to her. Likewise, the circumstances of his own lie and betrayal to Amy, while made very public... well, the terms of their reconciliation is so personal and private he doesn't think he could share anyway. He just feels badly that this girl's situation sounds so close to his own, and how Amy had once felt, that he wishes he could give her hope. He destroyed Amy's trust in him, yet she was able to find it again--enough so to even marry him. Maybe this girl could find her trust again too.

He just wouldn't know where to even start saying so]

[itwas-raining.livejournal.com]

[Julia, of course, isn't aware of who all is on the other end here. It could be the entire castle, for all she knows. Having access to her most private thoughts in this weird, alternate loss-reality the castle has currently put her on. Even in this state, there's nothing more mortifying to her. Can anything stay private in a place like this?

But on some level, she'd appreciate that sentiment.]

[nurse-boy.livejournal.com]

[no, not really. At Paradisa, your business is everyone else's business. Not much stays secret here for long. But maybe one day they'll meet face-to-face, or somehow she'll learn his story--because really, NOTHING is sacred here--and maybe she'll get hope that way, if she still needs it. In any case, he'll be thinking about her tonight, before he goes to sleep]

[itwas-raining.livejournal.com]

[Nothing is ever sacred. Somehow, everything always has a way of getting leaked out, no matter how good you are at trying to hide it. That's what had happened to her back in her own world, hadn't it? After she'd spent so long hiding, they'd still found her eventually. It shouldn't surprise her that this place is as it is.

But, maybe one day. Even if on that one day she'll be wanting to forget this ever happened, more so than she does now.]