010 - Beer Makes the Voices Make Sense

[withoutcrown.livejournal.com]

You know, journal and people who may or may not be listening to said journal...it's days like these that I realize something. A special kind of something. A something so spectacularly special, it may, in fact, out special the Special Olympics.

...Wow, now THAT was tasteless. I'm gonna write the one down for future reference!

[And true to his word, it is now immortalized upon the page in drunken chicken scratch writing.]

Okay, that was awesome.

Where was I again? Aw fuck.

[There's some creaking as he leans over proper to read the journal, suggesting he just wrote that chicken scratch without...actually looking]

Ah, right!

Okay, so that special thing? Is that I?

Fucking LOVE!

Owning my own bar.

Seriously, the only way it could be even slightly better is if there were a pair of flaming tits on every table. And let me tell you, I was trying for that from day one! Yup, even the me before the me that was before me! I'm sure he was, it's what I'd do. And unless there's some crazy parallel universe shit going on, that makes him me and I him.

Okay, actually, that's giving me a headache now.

The point is? I love owning a bar. And you should love that I own a bar. And also come work for me too. In fact...first five people to sign on to work for me? They can get one friend an infinite bar tab! That's right, free drinks forever!

...Okay, when I'm sober, I'm pretty sure I'm gonna kick my ass for offering that. Heh. Did I mention I love owning a bar yet?

Comments

dictated;

[athousandmen.livejournal.com]

Infinite booze? Hell, sign me up.

[ she won't actually do any work though.... ]

dictated;

[withoutcrown.livejournal.com]

Not so fast!

I said for a friend!

So unless the only friend you've got in the world is yourself, then you're kinda fucked.

dictated;

[athousandmen.livejournal.com]

[ SHE HEARD "INFINITE BAR TAB" THAT'S ALL SHE NEEDS TO HEAR. ]

Oh.

Well *&@% that.

[leadthedance.livejournal.com]

[This is Gino, sounding so horribly confused.]

A pair of flaming what?

[withoutcrown.livejournal.com]

Tits. Flaming tits! As in tits that are on fire. On every table in the Deathmatch.

Jesus Christ man. It's not rocket science.

[worldweary-wolf.livejournal.com]

What's the point of jobs? Shit's free.

[withoutcrown.livejournal.com]

Not at my bar it isn't.

[stone-em.livejournal.com]

Heh, can I take you up on that offer? Sounds like just the kind of thing I need right now.

[withoutcrown.livejournal.com]

You come work for me and some chum of yours gets free booze? Sure you can. You a tender, or a fighter?

[fishy-go-byebye.livejournal.com]

I know where tables are...?

[That's totally her asking for a job. That she'll probably only remember to show up to very rarely.]

[withoutcrown.livejournal.com]

That's super, hun. You must be so proud.

[That's totally him being a dick. That he'll probably only remember to be very frequently]

[invisphilospher.livejournal.com]

What kinda work? 'Cause if you're lookin' for someone to dance on the bar I'm out.

[withoutcrown.livejournal.com]

Well fuck, and here I was, with this shiny new stripper pole and everything. Thanks for ruining my dream, man.

You ever tend a bar, friend?

dictated;

[athousandmen.livejournal.com]

Infinite booze? Hell, sign me up.

[ she won't actually do any work though.... ]

dictated;

[withoutcrown.livejournal.com]

Not so fast!

I said for a friend!

So unless the only friend you've got in the world is yourself, then you're kinda fucked.

[leadthedance.livejournal.com]

[This is Gino, sounding so horribly confused.]

A pair of flaming what?

[withoutcrown.livejournal.com]

Tits. Flaming tits! As in tits that are on fire. On every table in the Deathmatch.

Jesus Christ man. It's not rocket science.

[worldweary-wolf.livejournal.com]

What's the point of jobs? Shit's free.

[withoutcrown.livejournal.com]

Not at my bar it isn't.

[stone-em.livejournal.com]

Heh, can I take you up on that offer? Sounds like just the kind of thing I need right now.

[withoutcrown.livejournal.com]

You come work for me and some chum of yours gets free booze? Sure you can. You a tender, or a fighter?

[fishy-go-byebye.livejournal.com]

I know where tables are...?

[That's totally her asking for a job. That she'll probably only remember to show up to very rarely.]

[withoutcrown.livejournal.com]

That's super, hun. You must be so proud.

[That's totally him being a dick. That he'll probably only remember to be very frequently]

[invisphilospher.livejournal.com]

What kinda work? 'Cause if you're lookin' for someone to dance on the bar I'm out.

[withoutcrown.livejournal.com]

Well fuck, and here I was, with this shiny new stripper pole and everything. Thanks for ruining my dream, man.

You ever tend a bar, friend?