paradisalost | The "SAVE THE ORPHANS" Charity Ball ; part 4/4

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The "SAVE THE ORPHANS" Charity Ball ; part 4/4

[time has been given for everyone to de-cape, de-cowl, tattle on their friends... and now, it's time for the punchline to this little joke of his.

the lights in the room once more dim, and the spotlight on stage sets the attention to Mistah J - he grins victoriously, something gleeful and manic in his eyes as he steps aside, letting a projector screen fall from the ceiling behind him.]

You're all so kind, Paradisa... but some of you are a little too... late in your lives to offer the recompense these poor orphans deserve. You'd know all about that, wouldn't you...

Brucey Bruce?

[his eyes fixate on Mr. Wayne, and he opens his arms, gesturing Bruce on stage. after a moment's consternation, Bruce reluctantly agrees - looking badass despite his cane and carrying that Batman-esque hard set of his jaw.

once he reaches the Joker's side, Mr. J flings an arm all buddy-buddy over his shoulders.]

Thattaboy, Brucey.

Now, how about we introduce ParaDIsa to Gotham's most notorious orphan and his menagerie of failures?

[the spotlight dims; the Joker turns, guiding Bruce to do the same as the projector reel begins playing. there is a crudely drawn stick figure version of each of the batkids - one for each of them. Damian, Dick, Steph, Cass - etc, all the way to Batman himself. Drawn by Harley. In lipstick.

there are a few photos - all various failures the batlings have orchestrated in their lives (in his canon; he just makes up random shit for the rest of them it's tl;dr don't make me write this).]

But the biggest failure of all, Batman... is also the best joke you've ever inadvertently told. The passing of one Bruce Wayne... the inheritance of Gotham's most notorious orphan, from you...

[he snaps his fingers; the goonies around the room abruptly begin firing into the crowd - they're missing, purposely, scaring people as they begin to usher them back out towards the doors, some holding children hostage as they direct everyone to LEAVE THE PREMISES if they aren't with the VIP party - the Bat family.

I REPEAT: GET OUT UNLESS YOU AREN'T WITH THE BATFAMILY, OR WE'LL KILL KIDS.

meanwhile, a familiar face is making his way out from the curtains...]

...Damian... Wayne.

[ooc: ~~MINUTE TO SET UP THREADS~~ OKAY GO

reply here with fleeing outside the comedy club. THERE WILL BE "PEOPLE" (player characters) firing toxin into the crowd as people leave; those who are getting FATALLY or NON-FATALLY gassed can start posting as much in the appropriate thread below. ENJOY.

P.S - you can just reply to the post if you're fleeing for your life or otherwise outside of the club!]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Dick's ...relieved to see Damian alive. Relieved like you wouldn't believe actually, and while his first instinct is to dive on the exiting chaos, there's a more local eruption about to go off, and by local I mean stood right next to him. A local hotspot known as Talia al Ghul, AKA the baby's momma drama and she probably ain't about to just stand there. So Dick's watching her like a Bat-Hawk, YEAH.]

[Talia pulls out a mothereffin sword in a swift motion, a leg bending a bit at the knee as she plants one foot behind the other on the ground. Her coat blows open and you can see a M1918 Browning Automatic Rifle strapped at her side. She shouts up in Arabic at the Joker]

I will have your head!! FACE ME, now! I will feed you to your whore!!

[Cass is already up to go after Talia before the woman makes it to the stage. When she stops her charge, the decowled Batgirl stays standing. She's ready to take her down if she needs to.

One eye on Talia and the stage, and one on the Bat group. METAPHORICALLY SPEAKING!]

[ Bruce can only barely see the gun from his position, but the sword and what she says makes it abundantly clear what's going to happen if someone doesn't stop her right away. ]

Ooga booga to you too, sweetheart.

[he leans in to Bruce, not at all fazed by his reaction, nor Talia's weapons. Talia, he said?] Who's the broad, Brucey? Don't tell me SHE'S Momma Bear? You dog!

And here I'd been betting on the cat! Oh, well. Win some, you lose some, eh?

[lets go of Mr. Wayne, instead patting dear ol' Damian's shoulder.]

Hello, Jay Jay. Did you have a nice nap?

[he doesn't move at all, keeping his eyes fixed on Joker.]

It was satisfactory, given the situation.

[Wow is he ineffectual right now. Wondering if Bruce yelling at her will really stop Talia, but if it doesn't, he sees Cass getting ready to take care of it herself.

With this many people and no actual plans, and clearly some very different priorities, things are way too unpredictable.

He'll keep an eye on the Joker and Damian for now, let other people deal with the crazed mother]

[... holy crap, woman speaking in tongues. What language is that? What is she saying? She sure is angry--

But at least Damian IS in one piece.

... for now, anyway.

She kinda wants to yell and demand what the hell the Joker wants, but she just glances at Tim--she's following his lead today, apparently--and grits her teeth]

[Did Bruce just call her Talia? Really? He's surprised then disgusted, and then forces himself into something more neutral. Hopefully with Talia as a distraction, no one wil notice him taking a step toward Bruce.

If he gets the chance he's getting him out of there.]

[you thought wrong, Terry! with everyone else taking care of talia, she's looking around to make sure they're all behaving. sees terry trying to step towards bruce ...]

Aht-aht-aht, don't even think about it, kiddo!

Oh, what, is the mini-bat getting antsy?

[he laughs, then bends, his mouth close to Damian's ear, but his eyes are all on the Bat Brigade.]

How about it, kiddo? Why doesn't the guest of honor say a few... words.

[he tilts his head just slightly away from Joker's mouth, grossed out by his breath on his ear. He grits his teeth for a second, and his hands flex into fists, then open, and then into fists again.]

I don't see where you're going with this. Kidnap a bunch of kids, hold me hostage, have some fancy ball that doesn't even have a decent main course, and then parade me out after you've scared off your audience. They'll find the kids and you won't have a leg to stand on... maybe literally.

Horrible joke, Joker. I don't think any punchline can save this one.

[There's definitely a wait for it quality, be it from waiting for Talia's sword to finally fall or for the undoubtedly awful punchline, either way, Damian had a point.

What was the next step in the Joker's plan? Dick knows better than to underestimate the mad man, but there had to be something. What chance did just the Joker and Harley have against all 8 of them?

Dick's eyes narrow and he begins looking to the edges of the room again, looking for some trap maybe... and as always, he's keeping an eye on Talia, watching for any twitchy movements, but he could already see the rest of the BatFam had subtly fanned out, there was no way she could break the stage without one of them intercepting her.]

[At Bruce's outburst, she's had her eyes kept on him. Dick's near her -- no doubt the fool would try to stop her. He's an acrobat -- any attempts to hit him first before firing at the Joker could end not only in disaster for her, but distract the entire group enough to give Joker even more of the upper hand.

She listens to her son speak. The Joker is outnumbered.

She is outnumbered. ]

[She whispers, almost inaudibly and entirely to herself, though it's directed at Bruce in her heart.]

I'm sorry, beloved.

[A quick glance at Dick] But no one else will do it.

[And she quickly tosses her sword over to switch it to her left hand, grabbing out the rifle and pulling it back against her body -- enough to support it for the split instant that she needs to shove the blade of her sword through the space of the trigger's chamber, horizontally.

Yeah okay she wants to charge at the joker shooting at him and then cut up the remains.

She attempts to take off, as fast as possible -- this is a race to do what's right, all the while aiming for a perfect headshot]

Because it's wrong.

[And there, to her right, is Cassandra. Having already figured Talia's movements and intentions (though those were pretty obvious on their own), she slides in quickly and places a well timed nerve strike to Talia's shoulder area to disable her right arm.

Following that, she grabs the falling rifle and drops, sweeping the woman's legs out from under her.]

[She lands on the ground, chin crashing against the..........ground.

She's quick to roll away from Cass, because hey, she's an olympic level gymnast even if she's not Cass or Dick level kay. Supporting herself with the arm that is not in IMMENSE PAIN AND NUMBNESS AT ONCE, she crouches and looks a bit crazed

Arabic shouting is go]

You idiots! Don't just stand around watching him!!

[for a second, Damian feels a flicker of fear, seeing his mother go down for trying to protect him. Maybe it's missing out on sleep, maybe it's pressure and the concussion from before, or maybe it's just sheer recklessness blowing his rationale, but when Talia goes down, he tries to move away from Joker and go to her.]

Mother––

[he grabs the back of Damian's shirt, keeping him in place, the press of something cold and hard at the base of his neck. a gun barrel.]

Now, now! Let's not get hasty. Touching as it is to see the baby bird crying out for its mother, we have things to do, little Jay Jay! And time's a-wastin'!

[he angles his head back towards Bruce, all smiles.]

Isn't it, Mr. Wayne? We wouldn't want you to kick the bucket just yet, would we? God knows you're old enough.

[he guides him casually back a step, dragging him by the back of his shirt with the gun remaining where it is in his hands.]

You know... it's a real riot, kids! We've been doing this song and dance for yeaaars, and it's only in a place like this that I finally get to see your smiling faces.

But I get it! You don't want to spoil the fun by letting good ol' Uncle Joker in on things. Got things to protect. Lives. That sort of do-gooding rubbish, is that it?

[he releases Damian's shirt, shifting the gun over his shoulder and placing it in his hands, wrapping the boy's fingers over the grip and placing his finger on the trigger, talking as he did so.]

But there's no joke more hilarious than this one. A decrepit, wrinkly old man being the only BATman, the only REAL Batman this pathetic castle could produce! What sort of a punchline is that?

So let me tell you what.

It took one tragic story to make Batman. A night of sorrow - BANG. Just like that, a boy lost his parents, and the DARK KNIGHT was born.

[he tightens Damian's grip on the gun, leveling it at Bruce's head.]

Let's see what we can create when we twist it a little, kiddo. You...

And me.

[ Bruce doesn't say a word; he just reaches down into the pocket of his suit jacket, discretely pulls out a little metal pipe, and blows. ]

[ Suddenly, out of nowhere, over 100 pounds of snarling, angry black Great Dane comes barreling in the room, going straight to defend whoever or whatever is harming his master. ]

[Damian doesn't struggle; he knows better with guns. He grits his teeth as Joker sets him up. He almost can't look at his hand, or what he's being made to do, but he can't face the Bats, either. In the end, Bruce wins out; Damian looks at his father with a growing nausea in his stomach.

Despite his age, Bruce Wayne has the same strong jaw as Damian remembers. His posture is more hunched, and his skin looks fragile and translucent with age, but he looks like the same man. He looks like Bruce Wayne, and he looks like Damian's father.

Seeing him old but alive is both terrifying and relieving.

Don't be upset, he tells himself. If it happens, he'll come back, this time. Castle residents come back. They always come back. While it's cruel, it'll be quick and painless and then he'll be back in two weeks, as if it never happened.

But it won't be as if it never happened. Damian knows better than that.

He can feel the bile in the back of his throat as his finger moves to the trigger. It's as cold as the Joker's hand is on his shoulder, and Damian can feel the eyes on him.

... and then the dog comes. Damian freezes, not wanting to accidentally pull that trigger.]

[oh, you have a dog? WELL I HAVE HYENAS. harley yells loudly - loud enough to split eardrums, seriously:]

[and two hyenas come running towards the dog, going to tackle him]

Have fun with your new chew toy!

THE GD BATFAMILY

THE ... GOSH DARN BAT FAMILY

That's the way they all became the Batty Bunch~

DARN SKIPPY

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2/3 i lied

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