43. Revenge of the Resolutions

Jan. 1st, 2012 11:36 pm
[identity profile] madetothwart.livejournal.com
[As is Tradition (which gained the capital letter only for the same reason the Arrangement had) Crowley and Aziraphale have settled down this new years to write their resolutions. It was, of course, a very human thing, but it was an indulgence they enjoyed. As always, Crowley's handwriting was flamboyant and loud, proclaiming the world as his cuttlefish. Or was it oyster? He forgot. Something that lived in the water, anyway]

Resolution #1 – Got too close to having a baby last year. This year, live away from the castle for the entirety of the month. Can’t be too careful about these things.

[Aziraphale had always been fond of this particular tradition, it engendered feelings of goodwill and determination of betterment across humanity - truly, a good day for angels.1 Aziraphale's handwriting follows Crowley's, neat and rather old-fashioned as ever.]

1. Freshly groomed wings are the key to success, nobody wants a repeat of when He arrived and there were feathers bent all over the place.

Resolution #2 – Make a new and better email scam. Probably best not to use Allen again, he gets touchy about having his name linked to mass fraud.

2. Learn how to use CastleNet properly.2

Resolution #3 – Make a fake Bentley. One residents can destroy to their hearts content.
Resolution #4 – Find someone who has the skill required to actually make a fake Bentley. 3.

3. Find out who has been leaving these vintage car design manuals among my book collection.
4. Encourage the opening of a decent sushi restaurant in the town.

Resolution #5 – Explain to the townspeople that it really is very bloody easy to serve raw fish.

5. Implement a January Sale at Closed for Refurbishment, including advertisements.4.

Resolution #6 – Kittens. I don’t know what I’m going to do with them yet, but it’ll be something. Failing that, hamsters.

6. Attempt to explain to the castle what BBC Radio One is. Missing another year of Proms in the Park is not acceptable.

Resolution #7 – Send Spike that present I’ve been thinking of giving him.5.

7. Find out who to speak to about the scheduling for the cinema. A more family friendly showing list would be beneficial for the well-being of the castle as a whole.

--

1. Conversely, the two weeks following this were the worst for Heaven, as everyone abandoned their resolutions and guilt levels went off the charts.
2. This had actually been a resolution last year, but Aziraphale just hadn't quite got round to it yet. It was important though, he always had a sneaking suspicion Crowley was Up To Things on there.
3. Might have to switch those reslolutions around, depending on how sucessful or not I am at getting the angel to do it for me.
4. The advertisement in question would be a singular note in the journals listing the wrong address and opening times, and the sale would be limited to one rather dusty copy of the Beano that had been accidentally delivered one morning and he wanted rid of.
5. Deny all knowledge of aforementioned present to Faye. She might have one of her moods about it.

[ooc: Joint post between Crowley and Aziraphale]
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211 is also the California Penal Code section defining robbery

Dec. 11th, 2011 09:33 pm
[identity profile] onlyanapple.livejournal.com
[Crowley wasn't kidding when he said he was upping his game. Barney may think tricking the residents into coming near his trap would work, but Crowley had been here a while now. He KNEW people got wise and he wanted to snag more than newbies.

He was NOT going to be beaten by his something again. He couldn't stand that sort of humiliation. He was THE temptation demon, after all. It was what he did. People knew him for it.

Which is exactly why he isn't using temptation at all. Anyone heading into the kitchen will find themselves stuck, the floor suddenly becoming like glue. Above their heads will be flypaper, with little fairies stuck to it.

All is fair in love and war]

[[ooc: Open for planned and unplanned kisses!]]
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In 210 Septimius Severus made peace with the Scots

Dec. 3rd, 2011 09:22 pm
[identity profile] onlyanapple.livejournal.com
So, it's getting up to that time of year again. Barney, Faye, Wade? You lot still up for a little wager to see how many people we can bag this December?

Winner gets, I don't know, a diamond encrusted bottle opener or something.

Out of curiosity, who here is having their first December here? Don't be shy, stand and be counted. Nothing bad will happen to you, I promise.
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Ed 209 was the enforcement droid in the Robocop movie

Nov. 10th, 2011 07:03 pm
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208 is the heaviest stable isotope of any element

Nov. 8th, 2011 06:49 pm
[identity profile] onlyanapple.livejournal.com
[Crowley is seated in the lobby today, a table in front of him filled with cheerios labelled as dounut seeds. He's even gone as far as to have little plant pots in which to 'plant' them. Why? Well, last month was wile-free, and he has to make up for lost time.

Plus he's a little curious as to how many people in the castle are stupid enough to fall for this]

Okay, you people. Don't you ever say I don't give you anything. Here I am. Being giving. Come to the lobby if you want to share my harvest.
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In the year 207 AD Emperor Aemilian was born

Nov. 4th, 2011 01:07 pm
[identity profile] onlyanapple.livejournal.com
Dear Castle,
Giving me a new cat doesn't make up for the shitty month October was for me, just so you know. In fact, it just gives me one more thing to be annoyed about. She sheds all over my carpet and she keeps clawing my leather couches. I guess this Bonfire Night thing is a bit of okay, so long as there are no zombie Guys or anything at the end of it.

There better not be any zombie Guys.

Yours, Crowley.
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The adult Human skeleton consists of 206 bones.

Oct. 21st, 2011 09:52 pm
[identity profile] onlyanapple.livejournal.com
[Anyone wandering outside today will find a certain demon and angel roasting a pig on a spit over an open campfire. Crowley is bundled up, as he's wont to do when the temperature drops below 'slightly chilly'. As to why they're out there, well the open journal is picking up their conversation]

What are we on now, angel? Six thousand and three? This place has made me lose count.

Six thousand and four, I believe. Though whether the time spent here can be actually counted is something I've been wondering, it's almost time in proxy. Perhaps it should be categorised differently to prevent confusion... this could be six thousand and three-B?

[Aziraphale seems no worse for wear after his close encounter of the holy kind a few days ago, sounding as cheerful as ever as he turned the handle of the spit thoughtfully. Correct categorisation was, after all, a matter of Supreme Importance.]

Now you're making it sound like a classroom.

[Crowley rolled his eyes, waving his hand at the fire, causing the heat to go up a notch. There was no mention of aforementioned encounter between them. It had already been filed under things Never Ever To Speak Of1]

Hurry up with it, I'm hungry.

You can't rush it, my dear. Besides, there's still the apple sauce to prepare.

[Aziraphale was Rather Partial to apple sauce. It had actually been his invention, the result of a drunken night and the misreading of a twelfth century cookery book.
Abandoning the turning of the spit, which obligingly kept rotating itself despite there being no obvious means of it doing so, he fished in a bag for the pre-required apples.]

Oh right. The sauce. How could I forget the sauce.

[Crowley's tone was about as far from enthused as possible. It could have been it was APPLE sauce, or it could have been the fact that he knew what Aziraphale was originally trying to make before he cocked it up. Whatever the reason, he always felt a touch of distrust towards that sauce]

Here's to yet another year of the long slog of eternity, then.

[Honestly, Aziraphale believed Crowley were entirely too touchy about apples when all was said and done. Nobody saw him reacting that way about mince pies, and they all knew what had happened That Christmas.]

Quite. Cheers, my dear. May it be another one of many.

1Other such subjects included The Spanish Inquition, The Time With The Bees and The Manqeuin Incident
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In the year 205 AD Papinian became praetorian prefect

Oct. 12th, 2011 12:47 am
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There are 204 squares in total on a chess board

Oct. 9th, 2011 09:14 pm
[identity profile] onlyanapple.livejournal.com
( Aziraphale )

( Faye )

[That done, Crowley sits back in his chair, for once in his own room, rather than trolling the lobby. He contemplates leaving it at that, but no. In a way...he needs to get an answer. He doesn't know what he's supposed to do, and, well, if Paradisa is good for anything, it's giving a varied perspective on things. He sounds his usual carefree self, almost as if he's asking out of boredom, but the truth of the matter is very different]

Question for you, people of Paradisa. If you had a chance to get back something important you lost a long time ago, at the cost of losing who you are now, would you take it?
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203 Pompeja is a quite large main-belt asteroid

Oct. 2nd, 2011 07:57 pm
[identity profile] onlyanapple.livejournal.com
You lot never cease to amaze me. What could POSSIBLY be going on? I can forgive the ones who've just arrived, but even if you've been here for a few months, you know the answer is 'the castle is messing us about again'. There doesn't even need to be a reason why, it's just doing it because it can.

And the leaf thing? Now you'd best sit down in your little pile of foliage because what I'm about to say might shock you but I think I have the answer. It's called Autumn. Blows your mind, right? Man, what'll we get next? Snow in winter? Egads!

Ugh, fuck this, I'm bored.

[And so, Crowley will spend the rest of his day in his serpent form, occasionally stopping to answer any questions left to his little rant, but largely slithering up on people because, hey, it's more entertaining than sitting around. After all, all his booze is trapped inside. Feel free to have a snake slither up to YOU. React accordingly]
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HTTP status code 202 means the request was accepted but has not yet been fulfilled

Sep. 17th, 2011 06:51 pm
[identity profile] onlyanapple.livejournal.com
[The journal picks up a yawn and a flicking of pages as Crowley catches up on what he missed while he was asleep]

Okay, I've been asleep for a week and it could be residual drowsiness making me see things but... was there seriously a few days where everyone started to talk about ice cream? What happened, did everyone suddenly become trapped in one of those online dating questionaires? Did you all have how you like your eggs tattooed on your foreheads, too?

...I'm really starting to worry about the sanity level of this castle. I think you all need to take a moment to think about what you've done this week. Feel the shame, people. Feel the shame.

But, for curiosities sake, what did I taste like?

...

Nope. No way to not make that sound dirty.
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201 in binary is the title of an episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation.

Aug. 21st, 2011 09:06 pm
[identity profile] onlyanapple.livejournal.com
[Firstly, Crowley dictates this in English, quite cheerfully, too. Whenever there is an opportunity to con the good people of Paradisa, it’s his right as a demon to take advantage of it]

Well, it looks like the castle’s playing about with us again, doesn’t it? Anyway, as a demon, I’m put in a unique position here, being able to understand pretty much any language automatically. Perk of the job and all that.

SO, if anyone wants a translator, consider me open for business. I expect to be paid in alcohol. Good stuff, none of that cheap Babycham crap, you hear? I’m in room 1007.

[He then repeats this in French, Spanish, Italian, Japanese, Latin, Chinese and Russian, before he gets bored and doodles something in the journal instead]

Photobucket

( Aziraphale )
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-65- Come Together

Jul. 20th, 2011 09:27 pm
[identity profile] luckyvalentine.livejournal.com
[Faye is at the end of her rope-- this much is clear in her voice as she addresses the journal while she works. And just what is she working on, you might ask? Ineffectually rattling a pin around in the lock of this damn magical door, that's what]

Hey! ...You guys who mysteriously escaped-- you better not have forgotten about us! That goes for the search party, too. The rest of us are still stuck in here, you know!

...Has anyone even noticed that we're missing? If you haven't, let me clue you in to what's going on-- the food is terrible, there's no privacy, we can't smoke or drink or-- [more rattling. goddamnit.] --and we can't leave. And then there are the so-called 'therapists' who--

--Oooh, you know what's a great group activity for us to do? An orgy! You'll all get to know each other better. A lot better.

[Faye fumbles and drops the pin] ...Okay. That does it.

[sounds of the journal tumbling as she kicks it to the side and faces the door with a ferocious glare]

Come on! ...We're breaking this thing down!


((ooc: ...and the colored text would be Izzy. This is the last post for the therapy loss, as they'll get dumped back in the lobby at midnight. Go crazy, tag and threadjack and backtag everywhere forever! Knock yourselves out. Also open over the journal if you want. l-lol))
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ninth sunrise;

Jul. 19th, 2011 10:58 pm
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(no subject)

Jul. 16th, 2011 07:20 pm
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Do not pass go, do not collect £200

Jul. 14th, 2011 08:34 pm
[identity profile] onlyanapple.livejournal.com
[Filtered within the happy therapy building of love and various other emotions]

[Crowley's got bored, guys. You shouldn't of let that happen, because a bored Crowley makes his own entertainment. While you guys have been whining or even breaking and actually sharing crap with the jokes that call themselves therapists, a certain demon has got his hands on files. What files you might ask? YOUR FILES.

He's currently flipping through them, enjoying all the deliciousness within. And now? Now he's going to share. Because that's what everyone wants right? SHARING]

Wow, Morgana, I didn't know you had an evil half-sister. [Low whistle] Bloody hell, you and Arthur could have a whole soap opera with what goes on in your world. Lost relatives, attempted poisonings, daddy issues up the wazoo, and I thought I was bad, there.

I do love the part where you kick Arthur's ass in a duel, though.

[Flip flip]

Speaking of which, seriously, Arthur. This thing reads like a history of how not to bring your child up, from conception onwards. It explain a lot about you, really. I never thought you had it in you to decide to top the old man, though. Good for you for growing a pair.

[He'll just be chilling in his corner, READING ALL YOUR SECRETS]

No wonder the castle sent us to this therapy business.

[[ooc: For the therapy loss, feel free to grab files, but start a new thread each time you read a new one!]]
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the eighty-third;

Jul. 13th, 2011 06:31 pm
[identity profile] variare.livejournal.com
( Private )

( Therapy Room — OPEN — NOT RECORDED )

[ FILTERED FROM: First-Gens & Allies — Riful & Allies ]

Just in case anyone was wondering, a bunch of us got caught up in castle shenanigans. I don't know where the hell we are, but it's a small room with access to a bathroom and nothing else. We can see mountains out the windows, but that's not exactly helpful.

We're allowed to leave the room when we want to go to bed and shit, but...it's not much more helpful. It's really fancy here, like a resort? But we can't leave it at all, and we're all forced back into that stupid room when the day starts over again.

Aside from me, there's Allen, Arthur, Lavi, Morgana, Crowley, Teresa, Colette... [ a small pause because he doesn't know the rest well...or he HATES them, so his voice turns more monotone ] ...Cross, Tyki, Faye, Miria, Quorra, Courage, and Marian.

[ NO HE IS NOT SAYING PUBLICLY WHY THEY ARE TRAPPED IN HERE. it's too embarrassing ]

Who knows how the hell long this will last, but obviously we're out of commission until we can find a way out. We're all safe, but the door won't open, and our powers and weapons are all gone. I guess we're lucky we at least found our journals. At least some of us did. And so far no one's killed each other.

With everything going on, it's been hard to keep track of the journal so...if I've missed anything important, fill me in. I'll check back later.


[ ooc; The therapy filter is open to anyone stuck in that room, therapists and patients alike! It's not an official therapy post, but threadjack to your heart's content anyway. It's a small space, so escaping one another is nigh impossible. Just make sure you establish if it's a journal thread or therapy room thread in the subject line. YOU CAN THREADJACK BOTH. ♥
This is also going to be the post where Isabela shows up. :3 STAY TUNED.

IF YOU WANT TO SAY YOUR CHARACTER WAS PART OF THE POKER GAME, GO FOR IT. Allen's a cheater. Or just have your character watch/comment on it, it doesn't matter. This is just a starting point. SECTIONS ARE UP.

Journal Comments
Therapy Room ]
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therapy session #002

Jul. 12th, 2011 03:51 pm
[identity profile] apologeticangel.livejournal.com
[this report is recorded in loopy handwriting]

This is the second session, conducted by Dr. Courage Pink-Bagge, Dr. Colette Brunel, Dr. Marian Fitzwalter of Knighton and Dr. Quorr. We have also been joined by Dr. Lance Sweets, who has added incredibly insight to the members of this family.

The first session was helpful in some ways, but most members are still very defensive. With any luck, we will be able to continue to gain their trust and help them talk to each other. Today we will approach them with various exercises to accomplish team building, and expressing their emotions through other mediums.

Patients are still as follows: Allen Walker, Cross Marian, Tyki Mikk, Anthony Crowley, Faye Valentine, Arthur Pendragon, Morgana, Gaignun Kukai Jr., Miria, Teresa and Lavi.


[ooc: putting up the sectionssssssss]
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therapy session #001

Jul. 10th, 2011 07:50 pm
[identity profile] loveablecoward.livejournal.com
[Recording begins.]

First session. Dr. Courage Pink-Bagge speaking. Also in attendance Dr. Colette Brunel, Dr. Marian Fitzwalter of Knighton and Dr. Quorra. Family in need of counseling. Patient names: Allen Walker, Cross Marian, Tyki Mikk, Anthony Crowley, Faye Valentine, Arthur Pendragon, Morgana, Gaignun Kukai Jr., Miria, Teresa and Lavi.

Admitted to Happy Sunshine Acres due to court order. Charged with disorderly conduct. Most show aggressive behaviors. Self-destructive tendencies evident. Some complaints of deviant sexual lifestyles. Difficulty communicating.

Bringing in patients now.


((ooc: wait until sections go up please! done! If I missed any tags, add them in.))
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Highway To Hell ranked 199 on Rolling Stones 500 greatest albums of all time

Jul. 4th, 2011 10:45 pm
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About the Archive

"Paradisa Lost" is the archive of what the journals contained between December 1st, 2006 and January 10th, 2012. On that final day, Paradisa issued new journals, so that the residents could fill them up again. While there are still residents around who have old journals, we have chosen to preserve the old journals here for muns' reference and history.

"Lost" in the title refers to both the old journals that the residents once kept, and also to our move to Dreamwidth from the original Livejournal community, where Paradisa started. It is a fresh start for muns, as well as for the characters.

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