paradisalost | Nineteen.

Entry tags:

castiel

Nineteen.

Dean

I... apologize for how scarce I have been.
----

[ there is a few hundred pen dots, or well not so many ]

It may be strange to say, but the castle is a welcoming sight after the recent events.

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... Yeah. I know.

Sam told me about Alastair.

[ silence ]

How much did he tell you?

Said he came back, almost killed me, put you outta commission -- then he did that demon-eject thing and saved our asses. ... Only Sam said he's dead. Not back in Hell, but dead.

... Don't tell me he's been practicin' since I last remember, Cas.

...He has, not only that he has been... drinking demon blood as well.

Ruby's blood.

[.... silence.]

What?

I knew Sam's powers were increasing but I did not know why, I only found out by chance.

He has been drinking Ruby's blood, I am not sure for how long but it seems that is the source of how he is able to now kill a demon rather than sending it to hell.

... I'm gonna fucking murder him.

...I am sorry.

I'm gonna kill -- fuck.

[a pause like he might say something else, but then he closes the journal. we know that won't stop you if you don't want it to, though, Cas]

[ yeah now he's curious so pop, sup have an angel in ur... room or where ever you are ]

Dean...?

[have a quietly livid Dean, Cas.]

What.

[ worry faaace ]

...You sounded like you were going to say something else.

[psh-face.]

Does it matter?

[ shifts a little ]

I do not know, would it hurt to say it?

[fuuuume.]

I trusted him. I fucking trusted him, Cas!

[he edges towards the door like he's thinking about leaving]

But it's not just him. It's fuckin' Ruby. You know, I had a feeling she wasn't all reformed and oh-I-want-to-help-the-Winchesters like she said she was. And he knew.

[slkdjs he wants to punch something]

[ for someone who usually doesn't have much expression to him Castiel is looking incredibly apologetic right now, he knows this would only drive a wedge between Sam and Dean but he couldn't... he really couldn't lie to Dean. ]

I am sorry...Dean. I should have seen it sooner. [ a sigh ] Orders stated not to harm her, though when I think on it now... I am unsure if those orders were truly the wish of my Father.

[Dean watches Castiel for a long moment, angry.]

I wouldn't friggin' be surprised. You know, with Uriel and his buddies drafting for the Lucifer team? They might be the ones that want her stickin' around.

[angry!thoughtful]

Y'know, I've been wonderin' -- how the hell are you supposed to follow the Big Man's orders - if you have no damn way of knowing if they're even his?

[ winces only a little, but you'll hardly notice it ]

Before, I simply believed that they were his... however now I do not know if I can. [ silence before he glances over at you Dean ] Recent events have proved to me I cannot trust the orders from above, as much as I may want too...

[scoff] I knew it.

[gestures at the door] Now if you'll excuse me, I've got a brother that needs a good talkin' to.

[ he stands there for a moment before nodding, opening his mouth to say something else only to close it again and look to the floor. Another moment of silence and then the angel disappears, leaving only the faint sound of fluttering wings in his wake ]

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