paradisalost | (no subject)

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allen walker

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[Private]

[a sigh]

I refuse to let that be my fate. I don't care how hopeless it seems, I'm going to create my own path and not let that be me.

If only it wasn't easier said than done.

[/Private]

[Allen is in the library, sitting at a table with several books around him. Most of them are on the subject of different types of demons in various worlds, possessions and types of exorcisms. He seems very focused, paging and reading through one as Timcanpy sits on his shoulder, peering down at it. When he reads a certain passage, his face makes a disgusted expression]

All right, that's...rather...disgusting...

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[a pause]

Last night...I ran into someone, my secret Santa from Christmas. I had never met them in person before. It turns out she's some sort of..demon, in a human host and it just...[he shakes his head] It pisses me off.

What, she evil?

She says she isn't and that her partner insists that she uses dead bodies instead of live ones.

But...with Akuma, they don't have a choice to wear someone's skin. They have no free will and they're forced to do it.

With demons like that it almost feels like they...go shopping for a nice body to wear. She tried to tell me that she takes good care of the body, like it's some sort of [a frown] rental suit. Never mind about the human being or the soul that used to own that body, they don't seem to really matter.

[a pause]

It just reminded me how much I don't want to end up like that.

So it got personal, huh?

[tosses him a whole bag]

You won't.

Yeah...

[He glances down at the bag]

It's frustrating, I have all this time here and I still haven't learned a thing about it.

It getting worse?

Pretty sure this place don't give up the answers you're looking for. Even if you did know, you'd forget the moment you got back.

[He shakes his head] No, it's still frozen here.

I know that. There was even a person I heard about here that could possibly..do something about it but, [a sigh as he chomps down on a gummy] of course that's his loss.

Some things you don't get relief from, no matter how hard you scratch.

What's it like?

I have to keep trying anyway.

What's it like?

Can't blame you, but here... you spend all your time on that, you're gonna miss everything else. All your little pals, do you ever get to chill out like that? I mean, no demons or whatever to fight?

Yeah. That thing in you.

I don't spend all my time on it, a lot of my time goes to being with my friends.

[Frowns and another couple gummys are now gone]

It's gross. Like there's someone or something in my head all the time.

Like it ain't on your mind when you're with them.

[mumbled]
I get that.

Talking or what?

Not all the time!

[he shakes his head] It's just...there.

Uh huh.

[she tilts her chair back, thinking]

Think I get it. But long as it's not checking you out in the shower or having you perv up your BFF, screw it.

[Not going to mention the mirror thing ever, but-]

...B F F?

[bet he covers up after a shower real fast]

Uhh, best friend forever.

[well now it sounds stupid, thanks]

Oh.

That sounds...[really girly] strange.

But no, definitely not.

Yeah, well, that's what I get for explaining. Keeping my old policy of figure it out yourself. Keeps things five by five.

How do you know it's there?

Five by Fi- ...Sorry.

There's signs. Before I knew what they meant, I thought I was going insane. [mumbled] Now I sort of wish I was.

[a snort, she knows that feeling]

Like what?

[a pause; that bag is quickly growing emptier]

Just...things. See stuff sometimes.

What's it look like?

[he shifts a little]

Like...a shadow...but not quite.

What's the not part?

[A pause as he thinks of how to explain before he reaches over for his journal, rips out a page and takes a moment to draw a very crude picture of it before passing it over to her]

It's that.