paradisalost | ↓ 024 never felt more grounded

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ruby (demon)

↓ 024 never felt more grounded

Apparently I get to luck out on this whole floating thing. I'm not sure if it's supposed to mean something or not, but whatever. Of course my dogs seem to be less than thrilled about it. One minute they're up, then they're down. It's like a reality TV star on anti-psychotics or something.

[D E A N]

I know we're never going to be okay. I mean I'm a demon and you hate me, regardless of what I did for Sam. Just know that I'd rather you be pissed at me, and hating me than Sam. It's probably why I try to provoke you, so... no crazy castle bullshit making me say it either. I just figured I'd let you know, that it's not always me being a bitch.

[a pause]

Most of the time it is, but sometimes, just I'm worried about Sam too is all.

[/D E A N]

[S A M]

Are you pissed at me still?

[/S A M]

[C A S T I E L]

How's Dean doing? I mean... it's only going to work here. What happens if he goes back?

[/C A S T I E L]

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[have a couple pen taps before]

No. We're good -- I just needed a little space.

Nice hesitation there Champ.

You know I do realize I was out of line right?

Yeah, now I do. But then -- I wasn't exactly thinking that you were thinking ahead.

[long, long pause]

I'm worried about him.

Eh, I'm from the future Sam, everything I do is ahead of you.

[bites her bottom lip]

I know you are, so am I.

I mean -- is there anything we can do? [beat] Is there anything I managed to do? In the future?

Hell... it's not exactly anything most of us want to remember. Calling it the Pit isn't just a funny nickname, and the things we take with us when we leave are what make us into what we are.

He's human, I'm pretty sure if the angels pulled him out of there with all of that still in his head? I've got to believe they've got good reason to.

Does he ever actually tell me what happened down there? Does he ever just talk about it?

I know it's probably not the easiest thing to talk about, but -- I just want to help, Ruby.

I'm not exactly along for the ride Sam. If you guys talk about things, it's not when I'm in the room and it isn't something you share with me when we do meet up.

There are sort of... other things we handle when you do manage to get out.

[long sigh]

And it's not like I can ask him about it now, with all the memories blocked.

I think... I mean honestly Sam? Here it might be for the best. I hate to say he took the easy way out of this, but things here don't matter. I mean, we leave and we forget, and unless we're lucky enough to come back and actually remember being here? Nothing stays.

Here you guys have each other, you've got your folks... no matter how creepy the age difference is, and now he's got a bit less on his shoulders.

It just sucks because now you know the truth, and like everything you're going to let it eat at you.

You're right -- about all of it. And I guess I'll get over it. Somehow. I have to, right? It's not like I can try to help him any.

I'm just worried about what happened that made him think he's going to lose me. And if -- somehow I get sent ahead of everyone and something happens that's related to Hell and then I come back here and --

-- I don't want to lose him either.

Last time we all came back from the same time. You and Dean had Anna trying to keep her safe from Castiel and Uriel, while I was live bait for Alistair, who was Dean's number one fan in the pit from what the back talk was suggesting.

Uriel had Anna's grace, she got it back, bright lights... Paradisa city.

As far as I could tell we were all on the same page at some point Sam. Stopping Lilith from opening the Seals, but there are too many options and sitting around here? If you think about it too much? It's a trip on itself cause the moment we get sent back is right where we left off.

Our lives are still going on, they have to be cause otherwise how the hell am I even from a different spot from you?

Don't hurt yourself thinking on it Sam. Whatever happens? Nothing we figure out here is going to matter.

I know. I -- I know. I'll try to take it easy.

If you want company you know where I am, or you could just ask.

Yeah. I know.

Thanks, Ruby.

[a bit of a pause cause now she knows he's in a rough spot]

You're welcome Sam.

I really don't get you sometimes.

Don't worry about that, especially in a place like this.

Just remember that I am still on your side, I just have a funny way of showing it sometimes.

Funny way of showing it. Right. Look, I appreciate the goody-two-shoes act, Miss I Still Remember What It's Like, but where you had me before by saying you were saving his life by doing it -- I ain't buying what you're selling. Back there? You've gone behind my back to work on something that even the goddamn angels are saying is gonna end badly. You're dragging him down to that grimy, unholy, demonic level with you, and you can be the nice demon-next-door all you want, but nobody does that to my brother. You've got your reasons and your bullshit, but you've had eyes on him since you met. So you pulling your cute martyr thing so I won't be pissed at Sam for the shit he's been up to is all fine and dandy, but don't expect me to ever give you the green light when it comes to me doing anything but hating you.

Edited 2009-03-19 18:56 (UTC)

Did you have a trip back home you're not telling us about Dean, cause last we talked you and I were cool. I saved your ass too being the live bait for Alistair, bringing him to the angels to try and end this mess.

But whatever Dean.

Hate me all you like. I'm not going anywhere.

Just been doing some thinking, is all. Sure, you saved our asses by teaching Sammy the whole demon-vaccuum thing, but you've been trying to get him down that road from the start. Bottom line, you're a demon. According to you and your buddy list, Sam's supposed to become some kinda Antichrist. So why the hell should I trust you when you're practically helping him to the goddamn throne?

But okay. Whatever, right? I'm just a moron.

I'm not going to waste our time listing off all the other times I've saved your collective asses, but yeah, I figured maybe Sam could use what he was given to stop Lilith, end the contract by ending her. I thought it was a no brainer, but not everything is simple when it comes to the two of you. He would've done anything to save you, except that. He resisted to the damn near the end of the game. All I did was offer him a suggestion, and I didn't push him onto that path until he asked to be guided.

You're not a moron Dean and that's why it's hilarious to me, because you actually think that it matters to me what you think about me here. This is the halftime show, short the cheerleaders and horrible stage performance.

When we get out of here? It's going to go back to the way it was Dean, and you should know the angels don't want me harmed either. Seems I'm part of the plan too.

But what do I know, I'm just some demon bitch right?

You didn't push him, but you got as damn near as you could. 'Save Dean from a term in the Pit by wasting Lilith with your special demon powers', yeah, okay -- something I know is gonna end up fucking him over in the future because of your oh-so helpful shoulder-demon guidance. You know - why do I get the feeling that even though he said he stopped, he's still going back to you? He had four months without me, pretty damn desperate to get me back, and you decided to help out. So the thing worked, saved lives, and I wasn't around to kick his ass for being an idiot. So if it works and saves people, what the hell does my opinion matter once I come back? Sooner or later he's gonna want to go back to that. Saving people. Being able to do something with that messed-up gift of his instead of going down the path of uselessness with me. I know my own damn brother.

Actually, I don't give a damn if you care. I figure you need to know where I am on this, especially since Sam has no idea what the hell's going on.

And have fun being Heaven's bitch until you're not needed anymore, sunshine. You might be best buds with Cas but you don't know what the folks upstairs plan to do any more than I do. I wouldn't take that as a compliment just yet.

Message received loud and clear.

[and she leaves it at that because she figures what good will continuing the argument really do in the end.]

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