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paradisalost2009-03-14 06:33 pm
vanished-prince.livejournal.com) wrote in paradisalost2009-03-14 06:33 pm
Entry tags:
89
These events continue to make very little sense. I'm all for pie and pi, but I cannot say it succeeds as a decoration.
---
I have been feeling better lately, I suppose. The weariness recedes somewhat. Knowing that I will never have any of these things again, how can I waste this chance? This place can be cruel, but it this time is worth more to me than any cruelty. Time with people I care about. Even if I long for Nunnally. I confess it freely here, though I do not like to dwell on it. Nothing pains me more being parted from her even now, but there is nothing I can do.
Still, it is not always easy to maintain the facade, to pretend that I am the same person that I once was when I was here. Suzaku knows the whole truth, of course. Strange how we are in a parallel situation to the one we just concluded at home. Once again, we are keeping each other's secrets. I gave him my word that I would protect his identity, and I will keep it. Choosing to otherwise against his wishes would only hurt him and the progress he has made to accepting a life as himself again. I do see a little progress at the edges, I think. A little bit of hope for himself. The fact that he adopted the kitten so readily... It was a choice made by Suzaku and not by Zero. It would probably hurt those from whom he has been concealing his identity as well if I were the one to force the revelation. Suzaku needs to make that choice for himself. I only hope that he is able to make that choice soon. I have told him repeatedly that the castle will not let him keep his secret forever. No matter how hard he tries, it will undo him sooner or later if he tries to keep the mask on forever. I must convince him. Now, more than before.
Now that Euphie is back. I know that she very much wants to see Suzaku, and on some level, I know that he must long to see her as well. She would not look at him with disappointment. Of that, I am certain. And Gino has practically already guessed the truth. I do not intend to try and change his mind. I do not even want to lie to him... but the truth needs to come from Suzaku. Nothing will be mended for either one of them if I force it out when Suzaku is still insistent on denying his identity to everyone else. Suzaku just needs to realize that it is time for him to put aside the mask.
For my own part, I'm very glad to have some more time with Euphie. With all of them, really. Euphie, Suzaku, Shirley, Gino, even Rolo... I will not have another chance at home. Not exactly like this, anyway. And Kratos is here as well. I will not see him again outside of this place no matter what might become of me after death. I've never been one to count on some afterlife. Whatever comes, nothing is promised to me. I turned away from a world that would allow one to dwell in the past.
Which does make me wonder... Anya is here. Did she come alone? I have seen no sign of her being anyone other than Anya. And she fortunately does not seem to come from a point during which she would regard me with animosity. I will have to keep an eye on her to watch for signs of someone else, but then, she remained hidden for such a long time. Perhaps she will not come out in this place even if she is present.
It is curious just how fortunate I have been in terms of arrivals from my world. All who have come have been those close to me, my allies, or people who were unaware of my identity. I wonder just how long I can continue to be that fortunate. I cannot rely on it to continue on forever, of course. Someone like Schneizel or even Cornelia... Or Charles, of course... could cause me significant problems.
I have laid the groundwork of self-defense well, however. Nearly everyone in this place views me as of a friendly disposition. Although the population in this place varies, I believe that enough people are acquainted with me to propagate the notion that I am a "good", innocuous, normal human being. I have enough credibility to cause some mistrust if I were to warn people about someone who had arrived from my world. As long as it is someone else's word against mine, there would be no proving anything otherwise here. I would hold the advantage beyond what Geass gives me.
I also have certain allies beyond the ones from my world that would make harming me difficult. This help could also be extended to those close to me, as it is difficult to protect people under some of the conditions this place creates. I will have to continue my efforts, however, lest losses or departures cause me to lose important allies. Kratos, I do trust. He also knows enough that it would be virtually impossible for someone to manipulate his opinion of me. He and to a degree Yuan can be counted on, but they do have others here that they are also devoted to protecting. I would prefer not to interfere in that.
Vergil still does owe me that week. I would hate to have to use it prematurely, but he is certainly one of the stronger ones here. It is a nice trump to have. I do not believe he would go back on his word, as he seems like an absolute sort. I will have to save that for absolute necessity, however.
Then there is the matter of Clark Kent. He is obviously the heroic sort. He helped Shirley when neither one of us knew him, in a way that certainly went beyond what an ordinary person could do, and then there was the whole matter of his involvement in more obvious heroic efforts. Participating in this newspaper of his should give me an opportunity to position myself closer to him and observe him further. Making myself trustworthy in his eyes could be valuable down the line in the event someone unpleasant from my world does arrive here. He seems to hold influence with several others as well.
---
I have been feeling better lately, I suppose. The weariness recedes somewhat. Knowing that I will never have any of these things again, how can I waste this chance? This place can be cruel, but it this time is worth more to me than any cruelty. Time with people I care about. Even if I long for Nunnally. I confess it freely here, though I do not like to dwell on it. Nothing pains me more being parted from her even now, but there is nothing I can do.
Still, it is not always easy to maintain the facade, to pretend that I am the same person that I once was when I was here. Suzaku knows the whole truth, of course. Strange how we are in a parallel situation to the one we just concluded at home. Once again, we are keeping each other's secrets. I gave him my word that I would protect his identity, and I will keep it. Choosing to otherwise against his wishes would only hurt him and the progress he has made to accepting a life as himself again. I do see a little progress at the edges, I think. A little bit of hope for himself. The fact that he adopted the kitten so readily... It was a choice made by Suzaku and not by Zero. It would probably hurt those from whom he has been concealing his identity as well if I were the one to force the revelation. Suzaku needs to make that choice for himself. I only hope that he is able to make that choice soon. I have told him repeatedly that the castle will not let him keep his secret forever. No matter how hard he tries, it will undo him sooner or later if he tries to keep the mask on forever. I must convince him. Now, more than before.
Now that Euphie is back. I know that she very much wants to see Suzaku, and on some level, I know that he must long to see her as well. She would not look at him with disappointment. Of that, I am certain. And Gino has practically already guessed the truth. I do not intend to try and change his mind. I do not even want to lie to him... but the truth needs to come from Suzaku. Nothing will be mended for either one of them if I force it out when Suzaku is still insistent on denying his identity to everyone else. Suzaku just needs to realize that it is time for him to put aside the mask.
For my own part, I'm very glad to have some more time with Euphie. With all of them, really. Euphie, Suzaku, Shirley, Gino, even Rolo... I will not have another chance at home. Not exactly like this, anyway. And Kratos is here as well. I will not see him again outside of this place no matter what might become of me after death. I've never been one to count on some afterlife. Whatever comes, nothing is promised to me. I turned away from a world that would allow one to dwell in the past.
Which does make me wonder... Anya is here. Did she come alone? I have seen no sign of her being anyone other than Anya. And she fortunately does not seem to come from a point during which she would regard me with animosity. I will have to keep an eye on her to watch for signs of someone else, but then, she remained hidden for such a long time. Perhaps she will not come out in this place even if she is present.
It is curious just how fortunate I have been in terms of arrivals from my world. All who have come have been those close to me, my allies, or people who were unaware of my identity. I wonder just how long I can continue to be that fortunate. I cannot rely on it to continue on forever, of course. Someone like Schneizel or even Cornelia... Or Charles, of course... could cause me significant problems.
I have laid the groundwork of self-defense well, however. Nearly everyone in this place views me as of a friendly disposition. Although the population in this place varies, I believe that enough people are acquainted with me to propagate the notion that I am a "good", innocuous, normal human being. I have enough credibility to cause some mistrust if I were to warn people about someone who had arrived from my world. As long as it is someone else's word against mine, there would be no proving anything otherwise here. I would hold the advantage beyond what Geass gives me.
I also have certain allies beyond the ones from my world that would make harming me difficult. This help could also be extended to those close to me, as it is difficult to protect people under some of the conditions this place creates. I will have to continue my efforts, however, lest losses or departures cause me to lose important allies. Kratos, I do trust. He also knows enough that it would be virtually impossible for someone to manipulate his opinion of me. He and to a degree Yuan can be counted on, but they do have others here that they are also devoted to protecting. I would prefer not to interfere in that.
Vergil still does owe me that week. I would hate to have to use it prematurely, but he is certainly one of the stronger ones here. It is a nice trump to have. I do not believe he would go back on his word, as he seems like an absolute sort. I will have to save that for absolute necessity, however.
Then there is the matter of Clark Kent. He is obviously the heroic sort. He helped Shirley when neither one of us knew him, in a way that certainly went beyond what an ordinary person could do, and then there was the whole matter of his involvement in more obvious heroic efforts. Participating in this newspaper of his should give me an opportunity to position myself closer to him and observe him further. Making myself trustworthy in his eyes could be valuable down the line in the event someone unpleasant from my world does arrive here. He seems to hold influence with several others as well.
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How have you been lately?
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Well enough. Yourself?
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I wouldn't eat any of the pies if I were you... just in case.
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What are you up to today, Euphie?
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Mm, just exploring, still.
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Have you been out to the gardens yet?
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1/2
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[Euphie]
[Lelouch]
[Euphie]
[Lelouch]
[Euphie]
[Lelouch]
[Euphie]
[Lelouch]
[Euphie]
[Lelouch]
[Euphie]
[Lelouch]
[Euphie]
[Lelouch]
[Euphie]
[Lelouch]
[Euphie]
[Lelouch]
[Euphie]
[Lelouch]
[Euphie]
[Lelouch]
[Euphie]
[Lelouch]
[Euphie]
[Lelouch]
[Euphie]
[Lelouch]
[Euphie]
[Lelouch]
[Euphie]
[Lelouch]
[Euphie]
[Lelouch]
[Euphie]
[Lelouch]
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