Episode 58

[spongetastic.livejournal.com]

[the page is dedicated to the same stick figure drawing he did way back when. The one with two stick figures on a roof, one "floating" over the edge and the other standing wearing a tie]

If this doesn't work...

I'll stay up here all night if I have to.

Comments

[fishy-go-byebye.livejournal.com]

Repeats don't count...

[spongetastic.livejournal.com]

I know, but... it's the only thing I can think of to get his attention.

[fishy-go-byebye.livejournal.com]

Doesn't speak? Paths go in circles...

[spongetastic.livejournal.com]

Pretty much, yeah.

[fishy-go-byebye.livejournal.com]

What'll he do?

Got puppy~

[spongetastic.livejournal.com]

No idea.

Oh, yeah, I know. Adam was talking about getting one for you. So, do you like it?

[makethingsright.livejournal.com]

[it's late, but really it's still the same day. we'll pretend the writer didn't get sidetracked with anya or sleeping or puppies... So it's late and Nathan is still angry that Peter doesn't seem to see past his own needs to notice that his brother is in a crap spot in his life and doesn't feel like he can talk to his brother because all his brother wants to do is talk about how great his life is here. You know where he just showed up and everything is crappy again. The drawing feels like an attempt, but also like he's being forced to cooperate when clearly he's never been one to do things on someone else's timetable. He hates being pushed into corners and being forced to react is never healthy for anyone. Yet he still makes it up to the roof.]

I hear if you die you just come back in two weeks.

[spongetastic.livejournal.com]

[well we can't really blame Peter; he's been on his own here for over year, and all kinds of crazy stuff happened here and back home. but in any case he's chillin' on the edge, and turns when Nathan shows up]

Doesn't really make it easier. I've had two people die on me here already. And I lost Claire for a while too. [there you go, Nathan, talking about the bad stuff :P]

[makethingsright.livejournal.com]

[No one is blaming Peter, least of all Nathan but he's just trying to work through acceptance and it's hard when he's so damn stubborn.]

I'm sorry for that... [rubs his hand to the back of his head trying to figure out what the hell to say]

[spongetastic.livejournal.com]

There wasn't anything anyone could do about it. I have to remind myself, sometimes... With all my power you'd think I could've done something, but...

[long slow breath; he's been needing to get this off his chest for a while] I didn't even do anything when Chris died.

[makethingsright.livejournal.com]

[Nathan sighs -barely- because he understands his brother needing him, but he doesn't want to be needed just because he has to get things off his chest]

You can't save everyone Pete.

[spongetastic.livejournal.com]

[he's on a guilt trip right now]

But I didn't even try. I just... turned away from it. After all he did for me, I couldn't even-- [and stops there] Sorry. This isn't even what I wanted to talk to you about. I could go on and on for hours about everything that's happened to me but I'd rather hear what you've been up to.

[makethingsright.livejournal.com]

[noted. they are Nathan's favorite thing about Peter ;P]

Don't apologize for your life Pete. [rakes his hand over his features trying to figure out what he wants to talk about] Since I got here? Or.. since you last remember seeing me? Or... kind of a loaded question there.

[spongetastic.livejournal.com]

[then Nathan should get him going about his brief stint as future self; that's the biggest guilt trip EVER :x]

Anything. I just... want to talk. I've missed that with us. How's Mom? How's Heidi and your sons? Pick a topic.

[makethingsright.livejournal.com]

[oh time for some loss realization here Peter... cause Nathan just went bzuh?]

Sons?

[spongetastic.livejournal.com]

[just as planned]

Your sons. Simon and Monty.

[makethingsright.livejournal.com]

[ :P that shouldn't be your plan to make but whatevs now because he's shaking his head and laughing]

I don't know what they've done to you here Pete, but Heidi and I never had kids. In fact it's an impossibility now even if I go back... because she walked out on me after my miraculous recovery.

[spongetastic.livejournal.com]

I think I'd remember my own nephews, Nathan. I babysat them enough times.

... Oh. They must be what you lost. [shakes head] It's kind of weird that I'm the one who remembers everything. Especially since I had amensia for a while...

[makethingsright.livejournal.com]

[shuts his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose for a moment trying to let it sink in. which you know it doesn't. because you know he hated this place already. then he finds out more stuff he doesn't like. and now this? way to be Nathan's least favorite person here Peter.]

I- [don't want to talk about it...]

I- [really want to just fly off the roof...]

[shakes his head again and moves to sit on the edge of the roof. which he does.]

[spongetastic.livejournal.com]

S...sorry. I know this place isn't easy to deal with. [long pause is very long]

We don't have to talk anymore if you don't want.

[makethingsright.livejournal.com]

[Deep breath as Nathan shakes his head]

It's not about not talking Pete... every time I think I'm going to be able to settle and adjust and start getting used to the idea of this? Something else comes up. I can't seem to catch a break, [laughs] you'd think I'd be used to it by now.

[looks up at Peter, Nathan probably looks like hell - lack of sleep does that to a guy - but he still smiles]

I did get felt up by a girl that looks a helluva lot like Jessica Alba? [tries the light joking]

[spongetastic.livejournal.com]

I think that's the whole point of this place. It messes you up. [glances sideways; his instinct is to comfort Nathan but he keeps a noticeable distance]

[snorts a little] Too bad it wasn't her. You could've gotten her autograph.

[makethingsright.livejournal.com]

[laughs] I think I was more concerned with the poor girl's well-being to be honest. She didn't seem like she was acting how she wanted to.

[glances up to him] I think it's sort of a trend around here, at least from what I've seen. I'm trying to work past it all Peter, to move on and maybe try to figure out what to do next, but I can't even get a hold on the ground when it keeps getting pulled out from under me.

[rakes his hand over his featues]

I had you back Pete... I went those four months not giving up, believing that you were out there, that it hadn't been for nothing. And I got you back, it took a lot, but I had you back and you trusted me, trusted what I told you about Adam, about the virus.

Now I come here, and there's no virus, no world to save, nothing like that.. but I've lost you before I even got here.

[earnestly] I don't know what to do Pete.

[spongetastic.livejournal.com]

[again just watches him quietly, letting his foot dangle over the roof edge and swinging it back and forth a little]

You don't have to do anything, Nathan. Just being here is enough. I really... missed you.

[finally scootches over and puts a hand on Nathan's shoulder, but gently like he's afraid Nathan will fly off if he gets too cuddly]

You didn't lose me. I'm right here.