paradisalost | (no subject)

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ninth doctor

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Cold? In winter? Don't shock me all at once, Paradisa. You never know, I might have a heart(s) attack.

You know-- [the kind of silence associated with absolute horror]

No. Absolutely not. I-- Are those sequins?

[disgusted groan]

Every hideous holiday jumper in the universe, coalesced into one. Fantastic.

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I know! I'm actually wearing a nice thick jumper and I even have a scarf ... though that's sort of just for looks and cos I've actually sort of missed needing a scarf.

Hang on - what's happened?

Little wardrobe mishap, nothing to worry about. Just, may need-- [lots of rustling around in the background and a muffle grunt] --pair of scissors.

Scissors? [pause, cos um whut] Want me to go over and help? Need anything from the TARDIS?

[dictated in that OSHI-- EVERYTHING'S FINE voice guys get when they look stupid and don't want anyone to see] No, no, no! I'm good. Everything's good. No need to get you involved.

[so not buying the act] Riiiight. [heading over to his room nao]

[desperate last-ditch attempt] No, Rose! I don't know what they're capable of!

[taking the lift means she's there a lot sooner so have some knocking at your door Nine]

You better let me in right now Doctor! I'm sure it can't be all that bad.

[verrrry slow footsteps to the door, kthnx, and then it's cracked open an inch or two]

I don't want to hear a peep out of you. Not one.

[door swings open the rest of the way to reveal THIS MONSTROSITY (http://www.countryewe.com/moreinfo.cfm?Product_ID=3876&Category=95)]

[OHSHI- THAT'S HIDEOUS D8 ... trying veeeeeeery hard not to say a word, to the point where she's literally biting her lip]

Um ... 'lo. [sneeeerk]

And here I thought Six's coat was bad.

We're going to have to burn it, for public safety reasons. [motioning her in] Go on, get in here before someone sees.

We'll get a fire going later. [quickly scooting past him into the room]

Please tell me some of your jumpers were spared.

[door slam!]

I've been afraid to look.

[sigh] Don't blame you. Might look like a rainbow and glitter factory blew up.

Come here [holding her arms out]

And the explosion carried over to the storehouse of badly embroidered Christmas trees and snowmen.

[does so, still making faces]

It could be ... worse? [yea that wasn't convincing]

Stop making faces. We'll fix this ... somehow. [tugging on the horrible jumper, trying to figure how best to get it off him ... aside from ripping it right off cos man alive it's worse up close D8]

[just shakes his head] Already tried that. Short of taking a pair of scissors to it, I don't think we're getting it off. [annnd gesture towards the partial cut he'd already made in the godawful jumper ... which is starting to fix itself]

Oh what- [that is just SO WRONG. okay then, Rose + scissors vs godawful jumper round one *ding*]

[standing still, standing still--] Careful with those!

[take THAT evil sweater *snip snip*] I'm not gonna nick you.

[hooray, it might actually be working! /o/] Good. I like having skin.

[woo /o/ still attacking it cos this material's friggin' hard to cut through o.O] Besides, blood wouldn't make this sweater look any better and I don't feel like playing nurse today.

Almost got it ... [concentrating, complete with tongue poking out of mouth XD]

[not even breathing because guhh he's hoping this'll work] Home stretch now, careful...

Shut it, I'm being careful! [concentratiiiiing - ah HA! yanking the sweater shreds off him now]

There!

Is it-- Yes! [makes sure no evil sweater bits are left and then~ kind of a silly little victory dance]

[putting down the scissors and trying valiantly not to lol at the Doctor doing a victory dance while all ... jumper-less]

Bit happy, are we?

Wouldn't you be, if you thought you'd be stuck wearing that?

True. Whoever wears those things by choice is completely mad. [this would be Rose trying not to blatantly look at the half-nekkid Nine now >>]

Mad old women, I expect. 80 or so, going senile. [pause to fully take in what's left of it] Going blind.

[also looking at what's left of it] And not caring if their poor grandchildren are scarred for life.

[teasing~] They should be locked up.

The old ladies or the grandchildren?

The old ladies! Kids did nothing wrong except open their eyes.

Create a special prison for senile, going blind old ladies then? [oh lawl]

What's the problem?

Apparently I'm lacking in the appropriate Christmas spirit.

I was expecting a heat wave myself.

...Sequins?

Nah. Haven't you noticed? It's always predictable for the holidays.

Sequins.

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