15

[broken-clock.livejournal.com]

[the sound of a journal hitting a wall with great force]

Comments

[dreams-in-red.livejournal.com]

[written with a degree less of her usual neatness]

Dear... what's wrong?

[broken-clock.livejournal.com]

[a long moment, and then, very quietly]

It's Rose. She's gone.

[dreams-in-red.livejournal.com]

Gone? Gone like Nataku was, or [doesn't finish sentence]

[broken-clock.livejournal.com]

The plague, Lucy.

[dreams-in-red.livejournal.com]

[an equally long moment of silence]

I'm so sorry.

[broken-clock.livejournal.com]

[faint gratitude mixed with urgency]

Please...please be careful, Lucy...

[dreams-in-red.livejournal.com]

I will be, dear. I promise, if you'll promise me the same.

[broken-clock.livejournal.com]

Hmm? Oh...yes, yes, all right.

I don't...she shouldn't have...

[dreams-in-red.livejournal.com]

[written more strongly]

Don't blame yourself. You can't take care of everyone. And you're sick, too.

[broken-clock.livejournal.com]

...Yes, I suppose...yes, you're right. I did tell him...

[dreams-in-red.livejournal.com]

Tell who what?

[broken-clock.livejournal.com]

[distantly]

My Tenth self. She died in his arms.

I told him it wasn't his fault, and I was right.

[dreams-in-red.livejournal.com]

[brief pause]

Are you suggesting it was somehow your fault?

[broken-clock.livejournal.com]

[faintly]

I'm trying to convince myself it wasn't.

Otherwise I'd be rather hypocritical, wouldn't I?

[dreams-in-red.livejournal.com]

Doctor. Dear. How could it possibly be your fault?

Lucy

[broken-clock.livejournal.com]

[his words are distant, almost rote]

I could have helped care for her. I could have tried to find a cure. I...

It probably wouldn't have made a difference, but...

I feel as though I should have been able to save her. I usually do.

Five

[dreams-in-red.livejournal.com]

[damn not having a voice damn the Master damn damn damn]

Doctor, this place isn't [pause] it doesn't operate according to the rules we're used to. I know you usually save your companions. But I think, if Paradisa decides something, there's nothing anyone can do to stop it.

Lucy

[broken-clock.livejournal.com]

[soft, rough chuckle]

Usually? No. No, not lately.

...Thank you, though.

Five

[dreams-in-red.livejournal.com]

Not lately?

Lucy

[broken-clock.livejournal.com]

[quiet, heavy, haunted]

No.

Five

[dreams-in-red.livejournal.com]

I don't follow. Do you mean Peri?

Lucy

[broken-clock.livejournal.com]

[very quietly; his voice is carefully flat]

Erimem was killed before Peri and I went to Androzani.

Tegan was dying when I met her again, because of something I exposed her too.

Adric...died trying to save the world. I let him. I let him go.

Nyssa is probably...

[it's shaking by the end]

Five

[dreams-in-red.livejournal.com]

[after a long pause]

Do you think they would have rather not traveled with you? Do you think I asked to be your companion in ignorance?

Lucy

[broken-clock.livejournal.com]

Sometimes I don't...I don't think they should have.

I almost stopped, several times.

Five

[dreams-in-red.livejournal.com]

You can't make others' decisions for them.

Almost stopped what? Taking on companions? Would you rather travel alone? Would you rather be alone here?