paradisalost | Contemplation.

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Contemplation.

For the people that are missing memories...is it normal to have thoughts of giving up anything for a glimpse of them? It is a bit hard, I suppose, to not have any memories outside of a war. I made many great friends in that war, ones I fear I will never see again. But the only memories I have to revisit at night are cruel images of dying men on the battlefield. Is it normal to not dream, here?

Are there any perks to being here? Has anyone found out something good about this place? I'm sure there must be something positive to outweight the misery it causes! Aside from the generous hospitality and nice weather, that is.

Anyhow, I've been reading in the library lately ~~since Belle stayed there during the Ball night rather than accompanying me~~, and I've read a book that pins down grief in five stages:

Denial
Anger
Bargaining
Depression
Acceptance

I think I'm witnessing these stages in the people here, though some seem to be skipping a few symptoms. Has anyone else noticed any crazy patterns in the people here?

Oh, and PS:

If you're 'stood up' by a girl, does it indicate she doesn't like you?

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I'm just getting nothing as I sleep. Dreaming used to be one of my favourite things to do. I had very creative dreams, but now I find I don't have any! It's not that bad of a consequence of being here, but it's really annoying.

And it's alright. The war thing. I can handle it, I guess, I just...wish I knew what the heck I did before it.

Do you think people will enter the bargaining state? I mean, if this place takes sacrifices...that could be a bad thing, right?

Someone told me something about myself. I don't really believe it, but ever since this guy's theory was presented to me, I've lost my ability to dream.

Oh. So offering more things to the castle as a bargain to gain back something else...wouldn't work?

((ooc: psht. you know who it is e_e))

There's no way to get it back? [[frustrated tear ripped at the bottom of the page with her teeth]]

The only good I've gained from paradisa is Knowledge, food, and friends. I must admit I'm becoming quite fond of some people here and if I'd never come here I'd have never known about magic, other worlds, ghosts, enchanted journals...anything like that.

And as a girl I can say that if I didn't have a good excuse to stand a fellow up (illness, physical problems of any kind, sewer backing up, family member dying, brocolli allergy, etc) it would mean that I didn't like him...not in the way that would make me want to go on dates with him anyway. Sorry.

Oh, so..it usually means they at least like you enough to make an excuse, rather than just tell you NO to your face, right?

And I've come to like people here a lot. They all have different temperments...some are kind, some are quite mean. They all are suffering the same, though, and I believe we were all brought here for a reason. I just am wondering if the bad outweighs the good?

Personally I wouldn't agree to go out with the guy in the first place. I'm very blunt, however.

The bad seems to outweigh the good. But isn't that just the way life is?

I'm sure honesty would have hurt less in this situation. Maybe i am just not manly enough?

I always thought the good outweighed the bad back at home. But here, boredom and anxiety outweighs both!

Poor thing. No, I think everyone prefers honesty in the end.

Boredome and anxiety? I fill in the gaps where I'm bored by going up and talking to dangerous people who I shouldn't. It's fun.

How do you know who is dangerous and who is not?

You're awfully brave!! Are you a soldier?

hmm let's see. Huge man in black leather attacking a wall in rage was one of my best examples. Going to visit a dragon who just said something about eating maidens was a good one too.

And I would't say that I'm brave. I'm more like...without fear. Bravery isnt a lack of fear, it's the ability to overcome it. And no, sir, I'm most certainly not a soldier. I own a coffee shop.

No offense, but I really don't think that grief is that simple. Not all of the time, anyway.

And if you're 'stood up', and there isn't a good reason, it's probably the girl's way of saying 'So long Jack, and don't come back'.

Well, I had just read that there were five identifiable stages in a book. I'm sure there are different variants in each stage, and all of that. There just seems to be a common pattern? I'm not trying to pin down human emotions or anything, just....trying to make sense of some things.

.... Oh. That's understandable.

[-a raised eyebrow-]
Hey, all I'm saying is I've been around for awhile, and some things just weren't made to make sense. They're...ineffable. [-snakeish grin-]

...You didn't understand at all, did you?

Well, I just don't know who Jack is. I thought you assumed I was Jack, and I didn't want to be rude and ruin that for you...if you want to call me Jack, you can.

How can something be made to not make sense? That seems like it was just made to frustrate others!!

~~Just like the Angel..~~

It's a saying. A phrase. I'm not actually calling you Jack...

My thoughts exactly.
But you never get to find out, believe me.

Oooh. Well, I mean, you know how sometimes people call you a name that isn't yours, and it gets really awkward to try and correct them because they seem pretty happy with calling you that name...and then you just go along with it? I just..I thought we were going to do that. Kind of.

Why don't I ever get to find out?

What's good? I'm alive. ♥

That's very true! And I'm very glad you are!

Thank you! ♥ Although I wish I could make more people happy.

Did she give you any excuses?

...She wanted to read a book.

Well... I don't know. It could be tricky. Why don't you ask her what's up?

Well, the only things I can complain about are things going missing and the stuff that came here from my world, but that last part would've been around anyway, so it's not a whole lot different. Besides, sounds like some people got to come back to life here - that'd be a perk, yeah?

They come back to life? Huh, I didn't know that. That's kind of...not normal, though. I mean. That means we technically can be here for all eternity!!

[The writing cuts off abruptly with a minor explosion of ink.]

Just when they showed up. No idea if it'll happen if people end up dying here.

((OOC: asgjkhasklgjha -wins at replying to the wrong comment-))

Memories of nothing but a war? Must be tough.

This castle gives us food and a place to sleep, I don't see what's so bad about it.

I can manage. I just don't know if I can forever, since apparently this place keeps us alive and doesn't let us die.

Eating and sleeping keep us alive as animals. Memories make us human.

That's not it. Mahaado and I were able to talk for awhile before side effects kicked in. Maybe it's not always paying attention to our actions. Not as omniscient as we thought....

This place....? Hmmm.

Are memories that important to you? By the time you'd get to a point you couldn't manage, you'd have plenty of new memories from here anyway.

Eating and sleeping keep us alive, memories don't.

If you're stood up, then yes. She probably doesn't like you~

...huh.

Why, did that happen to you? ♥

Belle stood you up?

HAHAHAHA. Oh, that's rich, Ping. Rich and creamy irony.

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