paradisalost | (no subject)

[Private;]
Loneliness.

Somehow it is difficult to sleep when I have thoughts like that. I wonder why, even if it is supposed to be for a little while.
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[filter; Nine]
Nine. I'm sorry that I wasn't able to play in the lake with you. That must have hurt your feelings. So, I wanted to make it up to you. But it has grown late again, I see. I'm a little saddened that I only realize these things at night. You really can't swim in the dark. I do not know the fun in that. Isn't the fun that you can see yourself swimming? Though, that doesn't sound fun either, I suppose that I'll have to experience it for myself to see.

Still, because it is late, I thought I could braid your hair, only I realized after I thought this that I cannot, because – it's not that you're bald only that it is too short. So do not worry about something like that. I thought after that about taking you out to dinner, but that sounds like a date, and I do not wish to date you or another. It is not you really, though, it might be your sad personality. Though, I do not mind it, honest. Watching a movie together is the same results. Even if it is friends, it should be more friends, but I wish to focus on your happiness, because I was mostly worried about you.

It seems to cheapen the experience if I bring others that are equally unhappy, I mean, doesn't that mean that I am not giving individual attention. That being written, I wonder if you had any ideas of what we could do for fun to cheer you up? We'll be sure to do them right away.
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[filter; Five]
Is Fa The Master all right? I was told once that when someone was mad that you should give them time to not be angry anymore. I do not wish to ruin any good mood that he is in by talking to him when he does not wish to see me. It is painful to do, but I understand that I deserve not to be near someone who is so kind to me and I betrayed. It's more painful for the other person, isn't it?

Still, so long that I know that he is happy by his entries, I feel a little better. ♥
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[filter; AWAY from Family Members]
I am a little troubled by some thoughts.

One normally drinks during times such as these, right?

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

Stick to tea. It's much safer.

Idiots do.

Tea? All right.

What would you do?

Only if you can hold your alcohol!

Yes. Alcohol causes you to wake up with a serious headache.

Ignore them. Do something interesting to take my mind off of them.

I've heard that before, yes.

I suppose that makes more sense than dwelling on them. I used to have a lot of time to sit and think and so I never knew how to solve any problem that I had. I still have that issue here, unfortunately.

Yes, I'm sure that I can hold it. Only after a few drinks probably not.

Hm. Then maybe Natto-chan should look for another solution first~

Then get up and do something, if nothing's stopping you here.

Tea?

I suppose not. I'm unsure of how to start, though, still, I think that it is a good start to try to do something nice for others. But, it's very late, I probably should not bother them so late, right?

[laughs]

Tea would work quite well~

Then, I'll drink tea, instead. Sailor Pluto said as much. And I shouldn't have a headache afterward. ♥

... How should I know what time the people you know go to sleep?

...or anything else that heavy drinking entails.

[a contemplative pause]

Yes, tea is definitely better. Eh heh, I'll have to remember that in the future, too~

Anything else?

I agree, I think that she's very wise. [pause] I hope that you do, too.

I don't know. Just thought that you would.

... That doesn't make any sense.

Oh.

I suppose not.

He...is a complex man, Nataku. I don't believe he's entirely forgiven you, and I don't know if he ever will - but he misses you, Nataku. He...regrets driving you away.

I don't think he'd...mind, if you spoke to him. Honestly I think he'd like to be a father again, even if he feels he shouldn't be.

...And while drinking is normal for some people I wouldn't recommended it.

You know that better than I do. I do not think he will either. I would feel better if he did. ...? Really? I thought I was making him happy by not being around as a way to cheer him up. I wanted to do good things, for people I like, after all.

Really? ... I'm the one that feels like I should not have a father. I betrayed him, after all.

I am going to drink tea. Sailor Pluto suggested it and she is a lot smarter than I am.

Sometimes. It can help you forget, that's for sure. At least for awhile.

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