paradisalost | (no subject)

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hatter the mad

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Where I come from, it would be considered quite bad manners to discuss a gracious host's unbecomings and dark secrets at the dinner table, especially when the host is sitting right next to you. Just as well that things may be kept quiet, as some bits and pieces of shattered glass may not suit the works. Imagine finding a bit of glass in your tea-cup one morning as you decide to read this lovely little adventure of ours~

Considering, but of course, you'd have to know when morning is. And if you do I must congratulate you, as you'd be one-two-three-four-five-six steps ahead of myself.

I have a riddle for you all (and I honestly do have an answer this time, I promise):

A stick I found that weighed two pound:
I sawed it up one day
In pieces eight of equal weight!
How much did each peice weigh?

{ written in very small letters near the bottom, looks like it was added on as a last-minute thought }

(Everybody says "a quarter of a pound", which is wrong.)

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A total of two pounds.

Right thinking, but a wrong answer!
Excellent try, would you like to try once more~?

I'm not a fan of riddles.

Oh, what a shame, what a shame. They can be full of such interesting things, and can bring deeper understanding to the world around us. Or they can be merely for fun and for frustrating your houseguests. Quite amusing, either way.

Would you at least like to hear the answer~?

It's better to see the world as it really is. Riddles obscure things.

I suppose an reply to such a statement would depend on the speaker. I'll hold my tongue for hopes of a better arguement, as your logic seems to be quite the construction. I'd applaude you, but you wouldn't be around to hear it. Shame, shame, shame again.

To each his own, then.

They all weigh as much as the other eight.

Do you really mean seven~?

Either way, your train of thought has strayed too far from the question. Excellent answer, but not the right answer.

Would you like to try again?

Nobody's ever found glass in me, mister! That might hurt.

Ah, and what a good thing, too~! T'would be a shame if someone were to get hurt. That's a wonderful record to keep and I believe you should continue to be as such: safe and glassless.

Might I ask, have you ever heard of a place called "the Lotus Forest"?

You're funny.

"Lotus Forest"? Nope! What's that? Sounds like something mama would read in a story. Is there a princess?

So I've been told.

I'm afraid there isn't a princess to be seen~ But there is most certainly a Queen of Hearts and her royal playing-card guards. There are monsters such as the the dangerous Jabberwock and the michevious Bandersnatch, there are companions such as the March Hare and the royal Griffon, and there are adventures of little girls falling down rabbit holes and the mome raths outgrabe. Quite an adventurous story, indeed~!

Woaaaah... really?! Jab...jabberwock and Baaaaandersnatch, I wanna see them! And I hope the little girl is okay! I used to fall down lots when I had legs! Now I just kinda roll a lot. It's fun. But I get in trouble. Whatsa outgrabe? Can I hear more of the story?

Ah, perhaps, but another day when I am allotted more time. For you see, that story contiues forward and never really ends, as one of the key characters (yours truly) is currently involved in an even greater story. Yes, I, you see, and you two may have wandered out of Wonderland and now are involved in the greatest epic story of all--this Paradisa.

But some other time I may have to visit and tell you more of the story. It's quite an interesting one, if I dare say so myself. Would you have your own room, or do you live in the cupboard with the rest of the good tea-cups when they're not in use?

I'm in the story too? Cool!! I was in an adventure back home, too! Well, kinda. Paradisa? Is that what this place is called?

I have a room, but it's too big for me! I'm in the kitchen, waiting for my mama. Hehe, I'm the cup with the chip in it.

Your really silly, Booshi~

I'm glad that my words can be found amusing. I'd rather have them doing good then have them off causing trouble.

So then, Not-Cat, would you like to take a stab at answering my riddle~?

Nyaaa~ But I'm no good at that stuff~

And you're not the first to be so, I observed. Fret not.

Nyaa~ Your smart then, neee?

And you appear to be the first to realize such, good sir.

I'd tip my hat in congratulations, but it wouldn't be recieved due to the circumstances of distances. So...

I think the weight would be less than a quarter of a pound. Wouldn't the saw creat sawdust?

Aha~! A second soul to unravel the great mysteries of the world!
My congratulations to you for allowing what others could not.

Ah, um, thanks! Um, I think...

[small doodle of a tea-cup]

You really like tea, don't you?

Not a problem my dear boy, not a problem at all~

Tea is quite the marvelous invention. Who has known much else of late because of Time's foul temper? Not I. Ah, for you see, to me it is always tea-time unless someone is able to prove me otherwise.

So, um, you live in a constant state of... play? Doesn't that ever get old or, um, repetitive? I mean, wouldn't you ever want to try something different?

Just the case--except rather like a constant state of six o'clock. Tea-time for a very long while, ever since last March (when he went mad, you know).

I suppose it could get a bit tedius, but there are times between the whiles when I've managed to find a change or two. At this rate, though, asking me that question would be like asking a fish if it should ever tire of swimming, or asking a bird if it ever tires of flying south for the winter.

Well, I think it'd get a little boring after a while. Um, for example, I'd like to have a cup of milk every once in a while, rather than tea. Coffee is good too.

What I mean is that if you only have tea all the time, you'll miss out on all the other good things out there. And you don't seem like a bird or a fish, sir.

I have milk in my tea, if it's any consolation. But what is 'coffee?' I can't say I've heard of that before. Sounds rather like... Toffee that would cause coughing, and that doesn't sound pleasent at all.

But six o'clock is tea-time, and you must have tea at tea-time. And since it is, as far as I can tell, always six o'clock, then I must always have tea~!

But you don't seem like a bird or a fish either, and that is hence a trait we have in common.

[scribbles]

0.0105 pounds

Close enough~! ♥
That's quite clever.

Thank you~ ♥

Given that there is no such thing as a "peice", it would weigh nothing, for it exists not.

Should it be that the mistake is only in your spelling, then the answer is as the others have stated - less than one quarter of a pound per piece, as the sawing process produces sawdust.

Ah~! A slip of the hand, and it would seem that your nets were the only ones tight enough to catch it! And with a safety net to back it up--I do say you've come quite prepared, haven't you?

Less than such does not befit my rank.

I dare say that rank be not limited to skill alone. Why, if everyone were ranked where they were supposed to be, I quite perhaps may have made a great deal more hats then you will find in my posession. But some are luckier than others, and the mome raths outgrabe. Are you a guard for her majesty, then? I somehow doubt such an occurence, but I thought it only proper to ask.

Is it your birthday?

Rank pertains not only to the title one holds. Furthermore, I am "guard" to no being.

Birthdays hold little meaning for me.

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