paradisalost | (no subject)

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balthazar

(no subject)

[Private]

Still human...is this the last night? Will I be myself again tomorrow?

[several starts crossed out]

It isn't fair....

[/Private]

[John]

Thank you for meeting with me the other day. I enjoyed the afternoon a great deal.

[/John]

[Ruby]

Please...don't let me hurt Lana, when I'm myself again....

[/Ruby]

[Lana]

It...was nice to meet you, like this.

[/Lana]

"All my possessions for a moment of time...."

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~~Cheer up, emo kid.~~ [unreadable]

You like it like this?~

I can't say I'm particularly fond of the kind of person I may be when I wake up in the morning.

Are you willing to do something extreme for the slim chance of remaining like this?

And what might that be?

Kill yourself.

[a long pause]

I...I fail to see how that would even potentially keep me as a human.

Care to elaborate?

Apparently, a certain castlemember provoked his own death in the hopes of, when he returned, he would have a different loss.

Could it not be possible if you attempted such, the castle would take your demon side permanently?

...I hadn't heard of that.

I suppose anything is possible really, but the chances of it working don't just seem slim, they seem...astronomical.

The chances of it trading losses, or of giving you what you want?

As for the first, we seem to have found a case where it worked.

As for the second, you can try it and it will fail, and you won't care, or you can not try and still not care, or you can try it and it might work and then you'll be happy. Or whatever.

Either.

Really? Anyone I would know?

....

You have a point.

We doubt it. Some pyrokinetic girl.

We always do.

If you do not remember this week it won't be a problem.

However, if you do...then you'll remember this. If you harm her in any way.... You will find yourself in amounts of pain and being tortured in ways that even you and your Hell could not possibly dream of.

Good. Thank you, Ruby.

Nothing to thank me for.
Charming as you are I am doing this for Lana.

I knew.

But still, thank you.

[soft sigh]
If it's any consolation there is a good chance you will remember exactly how you feel right now. How you felt this week. How you feel about Lana.

You may not like it. And it may piss you off to unbelievable extents.... but that won't make it go away. If you remember this week you'll remember that. And if only because of that you are immortal.

I'm quite certain he--I--will be absolutely furious for a good few days. Furniture will break and the like.

And then things will settle back down into their nice routine again, and he'll try his hardest to forget I ever existed. He may even deface his journal to get rid of the last traces of me, I'm not sure.

Deep down he may remember what this was like, but...he'll find a way to hide me, I'm sure.

...at least Lana's familiar with him that way. She'll know what to expect.

You misunderstand. You will disappear. He will pack you away so tightly that he may even be able to begin to forget you or convince himself it wasn't real if he truly feels the urge to do so.
But you will always be there. You have existed....and I imagine it will torment him. In a way you've won. Not the way you'd prefer, however, I'm sure.

You needn't worry about Lana. One such as yourself surely knows she doesn't have the... innocence to be permanently harmed by this.

Bal...

[a long pause]

I suppose it's not as if I'm going away, is it?

Just...changing, a bit.

... that's....
Balthazar, that's not you. You will be going away.

I'm not even real though, am I?

He's the real me. I'm just the castle's idea of what he would be like....

[ a few shuffling sounds, the sound of a chair being pushed out then more shuffling and a pause (Lana just got up, walked over to him, took his journal off of his lap and ...replaced it with her little self. She then kissed him and just set her hand over his heart) Dictated very quietly:]

Did you feel that?

[a pause]

Yes.

[(the hair clearing from the forehead thing) Whispered:]
You're real.

[Bal catches Lana's hand and kisses her fingers]

Until the stroke of midnight, when I turn back into a pumpkin?

[a soft chuckle]

[(takes his hand in both of hers then sets it against her chest and shakes her head no)]
Forever.

I have to say - It was quite a bit more mundane than I was expecting.

[a chuckle]

Is that good or bad?

Things will be different shortly, regardless.

Dunno, to be honest with you.

Different, maybe, but not uninteresting.

I suppose "not uninteresting" is all a man can really ask for, isn't it?

Don't worry John, your verbal sparring partner will be back soon enough...and probably furious that he wasn't the one at the Lux that day. I would expect him to hit you up for another date in fairly short order, were I you.

'he' & 'him', Balthazar?

Splitting hairs, John?

Tired of your sad-sack shit, Ballie.

You got to be human, you got attached to it, and now it's going away.

Boo-fucking-hoo.

You are what you are, so there's no point in pretending to be anything else.

You can't change it, as far as anyone knows, so stop your pansy-ass whining.

Amen.

I liked him better when he was always half-ready to kill me.

We liked him better when he wasn't a pussy.

[a chuckle]

Agreed.

He should be back to himself soon though.

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Balthazar

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Balthazar

One

Balthazar

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Ruby

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Lana

Balthazar- Recorded henceforth;

Lana - Recorded as well

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Balthazar

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Constantine

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Constantine

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