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Who: Namikaze Minato and Uzumaki Kushina
What: Minato gets to meet the girl he procreated with wtf XD
When: Right after her arrival
Where: "Next to the giant door, on the bottom floor." <-- what a description, Kushina, really XD
Ratings: H FOR HEARTBREAKING :(

Minato wasn’t entirely sure how to feel at that particular moment. His stomach was all in knots as he stared at the journal in front of him, unsure of what to make of this exactly moment. Kushina claimed to be the mother of Naruto – she seemed sincere enough, but he knew what good acting could do. Of course, how she would have known to trick him into such a thing was beyond any reason, and so he was forced to rule out the immediate wonder of “Could this be some cruel joke?” that just about anyone in his shoes would be having. His head was pounding as he tried so hard to recall who she was and why he couldn’t remember her, but nothing came – not a thought, a feeling, a memory… He couldn’t even recall the color of her hair or eyes. He was left to assume that this had to be his loss – there was no other explanation for such a lapse in his memories.

Swallowing roughly, he finally decided to make his way to meet her as he had said he would. Pushing his chair roughly away from the desk, he went to the door and paused with his hand on the knob. He could have turned around, said he wasn’t ready or wasn’t convinced, and everything would have been fine. There was no need to make himself uncomfortable in that moment, right? It was awkward enough being around his son let alone the woman who had helped him create him! Shaking his head, he realized just how ridiculous he had to have been behaving, and wondered why he couldn’t shake the fear of what would happen should he see Kushina again.

Women were temperamental, after all.

Finally he seemed to find the strain of courage in him that he needed to open the door and head down the hall towards the stairs. As he walked his way to the first floor, his eyes remained on the ground, his forehead wrinkled and his head filled with thoughts. He was unaware completely of the people coming and going around him, not stopping to say hello to anyone who may have even shown some friendly greeting as he so often would have. No, instead, he was left to wonder – what was Kushina like? Had he loved her? Or were they just a fling? They seemed close and he doubted that Paradisa would have taken the memories of a random encounter with a woman who he just happened to have a child with, but he wasn’t going to jump to conclusions. He wondered what he had convinced himself of to replace the thoughts of Naruto’s mother – had he assumed she just died after Naruto was born? He couldn’t even recall what he’d thought to cover the gaping hole that was now before him. It was hard, confusing… heartbreaking, even. He suddenly was feeling like half a person.

Finally reaching first floor, he made his way towards the giant door she had mentioned, and slowed his pace when he saw it before him. She was there, just a few paces away, and all he had to do was close the feet between them to say hello. Instead, he stopped in his tracks, watching her from a safe distance, and tried to think of what to say to make the awkward tension building inside of him.

“Erm…” A pause. “Hi.”

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It was a joke.

It had to be a joke.

That was it, wasn't it? Never mind this new world stuff, this ghost business, this magical wish-granting castle in someplace she had never heard of or dreamed of in all her life. Never mind the fact that she didn't know why she was here. Of course, she had to mind the fact that her baby - her baby - was practically all grown up and somehow she had missed all of it, for some reason she couldn't remember. Maybe it was a dream. A sick, horrible dream. A nightmare?

But there was no way Minato could have forgotten her.

She had learned, in her years of experience, that sometimes dealing with things as rashly as she had in the past wasn't always the best way to deal with the situation at hand. That sometimes, the mature way was the best way. After all, she had to have some kind of adult attitude under her belt if she wanted to be able to take care of a kid. Which, by the way, who had taken care of him? But that was a matter she would deal with next.

Right now, she really wanted to hit him, right between the eyes. It wasn't mature, by any means. But showing up in a strange and foreign place where the people who meant the most to her had suddenly forgotten she existed? It wasn't exactly the smartest way to keep her on her best behavior. She waited impatiently, pacing a little in front of the door after she had told Minato where she was.

She could see it now: He would come down, that stupid grin on his face. She would punch him in the shoulder, they would laugh, and then they would go figure out what to do about Naruto.

Together.

Before she could decide how likely that situation was to happen, there he was. He was standing nearby, expression decidedly not joking. She was angry and sad and upset and confused all at once, and it hurt. Shinobi weren't supposed to have feelings, were they? But she never regarded that rule with much seriousness anyways.

"Minato," she finally let out, keeping her expression decidedly calm. She was not going to break down in front of him. She was not.

Minato continued to stare silently, his jaw clenched so he wouldn’t stare slack-jawed, like a complete idiot. He was unsure of how to handle this – though at least he had the relief that he had been with a stunningly beautiful woman. He felt something – something faint, but still something – by being in her presence, but he wasn’t sure just what it was. It wasn’t a memory, it wasn’t familiarity, but it was just… there… Building inside of him without giving him so much of a hint as to what he had once felt for her. He assumed, of course, that it must have been a very strong love – why else would he be reacting so strongly to her being so close? It made his palms sweat a bit out of nerves and he could practically feel his forehead aching to wrinkle in confusion. He kept his features calm, almost stoic, however, as he had always been trained to do in situations.

What was he supposed to say now? “Hi” had seemed rather simplistic and basic, but anything after that was complicated and could possibly offend her or make things worse. How was he supposed to say he held absolutely no recollection of her? That when he’d died, he thought it had been for Naruto and Naruto alone – not Kushina, if she had been there with him when everything had occurred. Did she even know he was dead? She’d obviously been aware he was the Fourth Hokage, but what else did she know about him? It left him with so many questions, so much confusion, and for the life of him (or unlife of him) he didn’t know where to start.

“God, you’re really beautiful,” he muttered – almost blushing as the words registered in him. He had meant to ask a question, though what he had meant to ask was now completely gone from his mind and he wasn’t even sure what it had been. Something about how close they were, he recalled, but how he’d planned on phrasing it exactly was now lost. He swallowed and his cheeks finally managed to tinge a gentle pink, his eyes downcast and observing just how wonderful the floor looked all of a sudden – something he’d never cared to notice before.

“Um – I mean – I was just – it er – what I meant was --… Damnit.” He was just making himself look worse as he stuttered out attempts at explaining himself and he winced roughly at how stupid he must have sounded. She was going to laugh – wonder what it is she had ever seen in him. Fuck, why was he such a nervous wreck at that moment? Why had he failed that whole stoic shinobi thing? Some Hokage.

She felt stupid, standing here awkwardly. There had to be something she could say or do, something that would lighten the mood a little bit. She wasn't one for going around looking upset all the time when bad things happened. You had to cheer up, to move on. To make the best of what you had.

Unfortunately, right now she had nothing.

It was quiet enough that she could hear what he had muttered - she heard it, alright, and wasn't sure what to make of it. Was he just being mushy and dumb? Or was he really seeing her ... for the first time? Either way, it was stupid - she wasn't one to care too much about her looks anyways.

But she had to consider ... would saying a sarcastic or rude remark make him angry? He had been used to her temperament last time she could remember, but now ... she didn't want him to leave. She didn't want him to go. She wanted to stay with him ... but was that even an option at this point? If he really, truly didn't remember her, then how could she ever expect to .. ask something so stupid, and to actually get a response she wanted to hear?

She clenched her fists again, taking one small step forward. And another. And another.

Why was she doing this? It was only going to weird him out, but - she couldn't think of anything to say. This was the only way.

She came up close. Very close. Kushina looked him in the eye, trying her hardest to keep her damn composure. There was no way she could make a fool of herself in front of Minato. No way.

As she took several steps closed, he had the strong urge to take several steps back – but his feet wouldn’t move. It was like his legs were locked and the signal from them to his brain was shut off for maintenance. He swallowed roughly – a gulp, almost – and tried to keep his face stern, despite the fact that his cheeks were still glowing a light shade of crimson from his previous comment. God, what had he been thinking telling a girl he’d never met before that she was beautiful?

Except that he had met her before. He had met her and he was sure that he had told her how beautiful she was on many occasions – seemingly to her distaste, as most women often thought so little of themselves. He cleared his throat, looking down at her awkwardly. She was close enough that he could feel her breath tickling his face gently and it caused him to swallow hard again, his jaw clenching as he attempted to keep himself from reacting stupidly. What was she doing? Why was she so near him? It was only causing his nerves to act even more strongly and that aching feeling in him nearly grew ten times as strong.

Shit. Shit, shit, shit.

He clenched and unclenched his fists to try and get them to just stop sweating, trying to keep his own composure around this… this stranger. That’s all she was! He knew it was awkward to think of her as so given that they had a child and everything, but he couldn’t help it. There was no memories, no recollection… This was just a very strange, very awkward first meeting.

He suddenly felt like apologizing, muttering how he was sorry and running off to deal with the stress building in the pit of his stomach, but he knew it wouldn’t help. It wouldn’t make things okay. It wouldn’t make him remember. He felt his jaw tighten as much as it could in attempt to keep himself from saying anything stupid, from making this worse, from blurting out anything that may make it seem like he knew her again. It was starting to make his muscles – not to mention his teeth – ache, but he couldn’t let himself relax. It would have too many consequences, too many awkward glances or emotions, and he just didn’t like awkward. He didn’t like it at all.

So what was he supposed to do now?

“I…” He started, but stopped, trailing off and wishing he could have produced more. She couldn’t have been feeling any better then him at this point. He was sure that it had to be just as bad – if not worse – on her side of things. It felt selfish, almost, to keep the stress on himself and act as though it were a one-sided awkward situation. He couldn’t imagine the confusion she was feeling – or maybe even the pain. He cleared his throat, looking down again, and found himself unable to meet her eyes at the thought of it.

She stared, searching his eyes for some kind of sign of recognition. She wasn't going to believe that he had forgotten her until he really, truly showed it.

But he looked more worried, afraid she might hit him. And then he looked away - what was this? He had almost always looked her in the eye when talking to her.

But this .... this wasn't a regular meeting. This wasn't the same as it had been before. This was something else, someone else entirely.

Did Naruto know? Did he know that Minato was his father? Did he know that Minato had forgotten her, his mother? What did Minato think? Did he think she was just someone he had hooked up with, or did he know that they had been married? The confusion swirling inside of her was almost too much to take, but she couldn't let go just yet. She had to wait, wait until she was alone and somewhere where nobody could see her composure crack.

"I can't believe this!" she blurted out. The silence needed to end, now. She didn't care if she has to yell and argue her way through it ... it couldn't just be them standing there with nothing to say. "How could you forget ... it's not even possible!"

He winced roughly at her words, wishing he had some sort of explanation. There was none that he could give short of blaming this castle – this place that seemed like paradise but felt the need to cause misery and misfortune for its residents on a whim. Everyone lost something precious when they came here – everyone was forced to suffer in some way or another, though many didn’t know how until they came faced to face with it. He had had no idea that he would lose something so important until Naruto had asked him what his mother was like. When he failed to recall her, he thought perhaps they weren’t that close – but now that she was here, standing before him, completely flesh and blood, he was forced to realize that that simply wasn’t the case.

And it hurt. God, did it hurt. Something was missing from him, something important, and here she was to fill that gap in his soul practically and he hadn’t even been able to recall her name. He wanted to help explain things to her, wanted to make her realize that it wasn’t his fault somehow, but for some reason he felt like it wouldn’t do anything. He kept his gaze lowered as he thought, tried to think of something to say to make this better, but he was coming up short. It was the first time that words had completely failed him – or at least the first time that he could remember.

Sighing heavily, he finally looked up, staring her in the eyes, and tried so hard to make something happen. To make something work again and for his mind to stop acting so broken. She was the mother of his child for crying out loud! How could a place be so cruel as to make him forget her entirely?

“I’m… I’m sorry,” he managed to choke out finally, shaking his head lightly and looking away again. He wanted to run back to his room, to safety, but he knew it would help nothing. “This place… I guess… I guess it has a sick sense of humor,” he offered, knowing that it would help with nothing. He looked back up again, his eyes searching hers, wondering just how furious she was with him for all of this – for everything.

Clearing his throat, he decided to move on to a matter he found to be slightly important. “Naruto doesn’t know. He… He has no idea who we are and I haven’t told him. I would appreciate it if you… if you plan on telling him you’re his mother, if you would not mention what I am to him just yet. He’s had a big enough shock meeting me as the Fourth and the person who apparently made his life miserable.” He shrugged, wishing now that he’d found some other way to handle things – but it had all been for the best. If only Konoha had honored his last wish…

Fucking people.

What was that? An excuse? Yes, she was irrationally angry. But what other choice did she have? She wasn't about to just accept the fact that she had lost one of the most important people to her because of -

Because of what?

"'This place'," she repeated. "This place?" What was that supposed to mean? What did a stone castle have to do with it? Unless he hit his head, she couldn't see how this was any kind of legitimate excuse. This place, this place, this place. A sick sense of humor was right. Nothing about this was funny. Nothing.

She paused, taken off-guard by the comment about Naruto. They had both had the same idea, it seemed ... but not the same reasoning behind it. "I haven't said anything about it to him," she said quietly. "The fact that he's all grown up ... " There was something about what he had said that struck her as strange. "Made his life ... miserable?" Minato wasn't the type to become a bad father. She knew that. So then .... what was he talking about?

He nodded at her repetitions of his choice of words, pinching his nose roughly in thought. Ugh, he really was getting a headache. It was hard to explain to someone who had just arrived – true, he hadn’t been here much longer, but the thought of memory loss was common around here, it seemed, and so it had stuck with him as relatively normal. The walls of the castle were alive – sort of. Conscious in a way that he could never explain in words. He wanted to tell her, but it just… It wasn’t coming out right.

“It… It took the memories from me… I… When I came here, it must have…” He couldn’t phrase it, it was just coming out all wrong. He shook his head, sighing heavily, and looked to her with sympathetic and apologetic eyes. “I don’t know how to explain it any better then that. Others may be able to – I’m still figuring Paradisa out.” He had yet to uncover all the nooks and crannies of the castle and its lands, nor was he able to fully understand how things and people changed when they arrived, but… People stuck here longer then him may have been able to.

Rubbing his hands together, he sighed – he hadn’t expected her to not know what he’d done to their son. What he’d done to save everyone, to save Naruto. He sighed again, an action he was sure he would have to get used to quickly, and walked over to the wall so he could lean against it as he thought, hands getting shoved into his pocket so he could have somewhere to preoccupy them. Otherwise he would have fiddled with them the entire time he spoke.

Clearing his throat to get rid of any nerves, he gave a light shrug, “I… I tried to get people to treat him normal, I begged them too but… But the Kyuubi… Attacked our village. I don’t know if you remember that – if you were taken from before it. I had to… to save them… Everyone… him.” His hand sneaked out from his pockets to rub his forehead and he was tempted to pace, but kept his feet planted where they were. Best to not look more nervous.

“I had to seal it in him – I turned him into a jinchuuriki. I guess people saw him as a monster afterwards, though he… he’s anything but. You know that. I know that…” The guilt was evident in both his voice and his face. Not matter how hard he tried to ignore it, it wouldn’t go away or vanish. He had ruined Naruto’s childhood. There was no two ways around it.

She looked at him, anger lessening and concern rising. Hadn't that boy she had talked to mentioned the same thing? "Losing" precious things. As a "price". Was that what this was? If so, she was going to damn well find out what was causing this and she was going to beat that person, monster, thing to a bloody pulp until it turned this shitty situation around.

And what about her? If what Shikamaru had said was true, had she also lost something? She couldn't think of anything that seemed to be a gap in her memory, or a person ... or anything in particular she seemed to be missing.

"A toll," she murmured, thinking it over. There had to be some way, some way to get everything back. She couldn't be upset now. She had to get over the pain and figure out a way to fix it. He had to get his memories back. He had to.

Her planning was disrupted, however, by the words that came next. Minato had ..... made their own child into jinchuuriki? He had sealed that horrible demon inside of their son? Her son? Her first thought was to be horrified, and a little of that was showing on her face. Wide-eyed, she broke eye contact to look at the ground. Would he have purposely done something like this if he .... didn't have to?

No. He knew that it would hurt Naruto to become something like that. Of course it was a mistake, or a last-ditch effort ... something that he hadn't thought through. He must have known, even if he had told them to treat him nicely ... "Of course I know that." Her tone was harsher now. They had all treated him badly? Why, why couldn't she have been around to take care of him? Why?

Sliding down the wall so that he was sitting on the ground, Minato’s hand went from his forehead to pinch at his nose again - something he did often when he was starting to feel tense. He swallowed roughly, his eyes shutting tight to keep himself from going overboard with his emotions. It was hard – it was too hard, even, to talk about the pain their son had been forced through due to his own stupid judgment. He had thought things through, he knew it was the only way… Minato had never been one to act rashly and do something without thinking it through. Especially not something that could take such a toll on someone’s life as the Kyuubi would take on Naruto’s. The dangers that came with it – but he knew it had been right. He knew it was the only way.

If only they would tell the Naruto fans why so he could stop being so vague and tell Kushina why. It would help.

“I told him I never meant to hurt him… I’m not sure he believes me entirely but…” Sighing, he shook his head, glad to know at least now that Kushina had no intentions of telling him about his lineage. It would be too much at once, he was sure. Swallowing, he looked up at her again, pausing for a moment as he tried to take things in again, to make this a little less… overwhelming. How he would do that, he was unsure, but it would have been nice.

Finally, after several moments of waiting, he spoke again; “Did… Did we… love each other?” He wanted to know. He wanted to know that things hadn’t always been so strained. He wanted to know that Naruto could have had a good life with parents who loved one another as much as they loved him. He wanted to know what he had sacrificed – what he had ruined. And she was the only one who could tell him.

She watched as he slid to the floor, unsure of whether or not to sit down with him. She felt strange standing up here looming over him, but would it be okay to just sit down next to him? Not that she cared much about social standards, but ... she did care about what Minato thought, and what would he think if she just sat right beside him? She settled for sitting down across from him, not so spread out as she normally would be - her body language was a little closed off now for reasons that weren't too hard to understand.

"Of course he knows that," she said immediately. There was no way Naruto could ever believe that Minato had ruined his life - no way. Even if he did now, she would convince him in whatever way it took. She trusted Minato. She trusted him to do what was right.

The question he asked next was one that took her by surprise. She stared for a moment, before looking away, fists clenched in her lap. The question itself scared her. Accepting the question would be like accepting the fact that he ... didn't love her anymore. And that ... that was scary.

"Yeah," she said quietly. "Yeah, we did." An emphasis on the 'did'. Oh, that hurt to say. She didn't want it to end, but was there any way to get his affection back now? In this place, where everything was just plain wrong?

He smiled weakly at the thought, his eyes averting from her again before closing gently. He wasn’t sure whether or not it hurt more knowing that he had forgotten someone he had loved or less to know that they had at least once been happy. He felt a surge of anger towards Paradisa for having brought his family together only to leave it ready to be shattered, but he knew that perhaps it would be just a test. Perhaps if he stayed by her, got to know her again, perhaps his memories would come back to him. Or, if not, the feelings would at least return, wouldn’t they?

After all, if he had loved her once, surely he could love her again.

Scooting himself from the wall a bit so he was slightly closer to her, he finally looked into her eyes and held her gaze for a very long moment. He didn’t know what to say to help her, to make this all better, but he knew that he had to say something. Leaving silence after such a statement felt wrong – awkward. And Minato hated awkward.

“I promise that… that I’ll do everything I can to fix this,” he said finally, hoping that that would at least mean something to her. He didn’t know what he could do, how he could make it right, but dammit, he would. It was all he would work for, if necessary. Leaving things like this just… wasn’t an option. Not for him.

She was a little startled as he moved closer, not expecting him to do anything like that. Glancing up, she noticed he was staring .... and she held it for awhile, before her cheeks flushed. She turned away quickly, trying to hide it. Damn, he was always good at embarrassing her at the most inconvenient times ...

She took a deep breath, trying to get rid of the warmth that had flooded into her face. He spoke again, as well as surprised her again. It wasn't like he was obligated to make it up to her ...

A slightly annoyed expression crossed her face as she tucked some hair away behind her ear, leaving her face and expression clear for Minato to see. She folded her arms across her chest, still not re-initiating eye contact.

"I don't want you to do that out of pity for me, or something," she replied stubbornly. It was stupid, to refuse the thing she held so dear that he was offering her - but it wouldn't feel right if he was just going to pretend to love her so she wasn't upset about it.

Was that what he was doing?

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I SORRY - MY BIRTHDAY TOOK ME AWAY FROM YOU.

QUITE ALRIGHT <3

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I'M SORRY, I WAS AT PROM. ROFL

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