paradisalost | [thread] knock knock

Nataku had thought that it rested long enough. Though, it really didn't know how long it was supposed to actually stay in its room. It had been told once that it was fun to walk around the castle and talk to people. But, it actually hadn't run into anyone during its walk to the infirmary. For, if anything, it could go see if Kohaku had been kidnapped, again.

However, it did have to take a short resting break against one of the doors on the second floor. It was mildly surprised that there was someone talking on the other side, but no one was answering her. Speaking to her journal? Nataku thought that it wouldn't hurt to know what she was saying now if it could be read later -- though, it eventually recognized some of the words that were used.

Continuing to think nothing wrong, it reached out to tug on the door -- and ... happy that it was unlocked. It had forgotten to grab its journal and had to walk back to the elevator and then to its room in order to ask its questions. More or less throwing the door open, Nataku walked in. "What were you saying?"

The moment her door swung open, Lucrecia's head shot up. She could have sworn she had locked it--or maybe she had forgotten to, this time. Her mind seemed to be elsewhere nowadays, and it must have been overlooked the last time she entered her room.

She could have shot herself right there, had she a gun.

Instead, she gaped at the... young man (?) that had entered her room. She rose to her feet, stumbling back so that the chair she had been sitting in separated them. She didn't say anything--she was too afraid to--so she just stared, trying to push herself into the wall. It was doubtful she even heard what the stranger had said.

Naturally, confused by the woman's actions, Nataku canted its head slightly to the left before it started in on its questions once more. "What were you saying?" Of course, it did take the moment to turn to look over its shoulder as though thinking that someone was behind it. Kratos, perhaps? It still wasn't sure what it should do about that man; it hadn't been able to get him to accept redemption. That was bad wasn't it? Eventually, it would have to ask.

As it turned around to ask her what was wrong, it noticed the lab coat hanging outside the bathroom door. Closing the door behind it, if only because it had thought that was polite behavior, it headed over to the coat -- just to stare at it. "The scientists would wear these. Are you a scientists? ...Are you one who made me?" It looked away, thinking that that was wrong as it remembered that it had killed all the scientists. "No. No, you're not."

"Who are you?"

It never ended, did it?

Before Lucrecia could process what the stranger had asked again, he walked over to the lab coat she had left out. It was the only one she had, and while she hated it for what it represented and what had happened all those years ago... it was difficult to part with it. And so she had left it on the door. Which seemed to be a very bad mistake, now.

She felt her stomach lurch--how many people were going to think she created them or was their mother?

"Who are you?" Lucrecia asked, finally managing to speak. It was odd that he was asking her that when he had been the one to enter her room.

"Nataku or Natto." It reached a hand out to tug on the sleeve of the lab coat in a thoughtful way -- never actually able to touch it while it was in the labs nor even after they were dead. 'Course, most of them had been covered in the debris of the fallen building. "Neither name has any significance to me. You can call me what you like."

Repeating its question, Nataku thought that maybe she had forgotten to answer it. "Who are you? And ... what were you saying, before?"

There was something about this person that Lucrecia couldn't quite place--there was no feeling of ill-will, just... curiosity? She didn't relax, but she stopped pressing herself into the wall. She was almost reminded of a child, the way that he touched the lab coat.

Not that she had much, if any experience with children at all.

"Lucrecia Crescent," she replied hesitantly, not sure if she was wise in giving her name--but it was on the door, after all. She nodded at the book on her desk. "I... was reading."

"Cresent. Like the moon? Do you think that a full moon is fun?" Nataku looked off to the side, still confused as to why it was fun. However, the one that had hosted the 'party' seemed to have been having quite a wonderful time. Though, it wondered about why it was licked on the face a few times. However, never got around to asking why that was. It was another question that it would have to ask.

Or, perhaps, it was just a greeting that people gave to one another; it couldn't be sure. But, it had not observed anyone doing the same -- well, no, wait, that was One, Two, and the other person in the elevator. But that was meant for private. It is normal to greet that way, but only in private. "Are we in private? Does that mean I have to lick you?"

Then seemingly changing the subject back to what it originally wanted to know, of course, not going to let go the last question offered if that was polite behavior -- its parents would want it to be 'good,' right? "What were you reading? You were not .. talking to the journal?"

Whatever fear Lucrecia had was slowly being replaced by confusion. He was like a child. Ignoring his first question, Lucrecia tried a new tactic: "Are you lost?" Another question added to all the others floating around the room.

Lucrecia almost choked on her tongue. "Lick me? No...!" She shook her head. Other worlds surely had different customs, but... well, she had been avoiding people quite avidly since her arrival.

"I guess... I was reading aloud," she said. Was she that loud? How embarrassing... and a little dangerous now that she thought about it.

"Lost?" For a second it seemed like it didn't understand the question, but the short pause was replaced with a semi-reasonable answer. "No, I was going to talk to someone while walking around the castle. Zelman told me that was fun." A thoughtful pause before Nataku felt like it needed to explain why this was so important. "I want to have fun so that my parents will be happy."

"Oh, but Lana told me that that was something that should be done in private. That is not correct? Was she lying?" It now had to ask if people were lying to it; not so much that it was losing faith in those that it spoke to, but because of that person said that 'everyone lies.' Something like that was very worrying for Nataku -- and created something of a paradox. If everyone lied, wouldn't that mean that that person lied too, which would make their statement automatically false, but still true.

"Oh. I see. What is the subject that you were reading? I recognized some of the words used. But, is it fun to read such things? Is that why the library is useful?" Frankly, after the few encounters that it had had, Nataku was starting to think that such a place was dangerous. Just like how the clinic was dangerous -- why should people 'abandon all hope' if they entered there?

"Do your parents know where you are?" Lucrecia pressed, wishing she had paid more attention to the journals. Was there someone missing a child? This Nataku didn't look all that young, but Lucrecia knew she had a good thirty years on him, or something like that.

Lucrecia almost wanted to laugh, but she was unsure whether that would upset Nataku... which was odd, since he had barged into her room with no warning. She shook her head. "Where I'm from... people don't lick each other." This topic was rather awkward.

"Biology," she answered, and resisted the urge to wince. Oh, she was well on the road to becoming a mad scientist, if she hadn't already won that award. "Yes, I think so. Learning is fun, and you learn from books in the library."

Her tone had become softer, the anger and fear leaving it. It was becoming increasingly clear that this person was... off.

"No. Well," It looked down sadly -- if they knew, they would try to find it, right? They wouldn't hide from its attempt to find them, would they? Searching the floor for some sort of answer, it came up with nothing and thus, had to ask. "I do not know. My memories of my parents are ... not right. None of my memories are. I cannot hear their voices or see their faces. It is like I am there by myself. This castle takes things from people, right? My parents ... they forgot about me... Otherwise, they would be looking for me as well, right? But I am searching for them with others, and eventually I'll find them, won't I?"

"Oh. Why?" If it was natural behavior in one place, why not another? Of course, it started to answer its own question when it remembered what someone had written in the journals shortly after its appearance. "Someone mentioned that there are many universes here. I do not understand what that means, though. ... Isn't there just one world? And the world after that will be decided in the Final Battle?" Though, only Father, Kamui, and those that could see in the future knew what those worlds looked like; thus, it had no knowledge of that other than what it was told.

"Why?" A pause. "Then, could you explain my existence to me? I'd like to learn that." Another light tug on the lab coat as though that made sense as to where its tangent was coming from.

Lucrecia frowned. Leave it to her to prob at wounds with a scalpel. "I'm sorry. Your parents are probably back at home, not here. I'm sure they're looking for you." It wasn't a complete lie. She hadn't ever heard of a complete family existing in Paradisa, so it was likely that Nataku's parents were just somewhere else.

"It's not proper." She wasn't the best when it came to morals, but she could tell him that at least. Before he really did lick someone and got himself clear--he didn't understand. When he spoke, it didn't make sense to her, but she nodded. "Many worlds. Where are you from?"

She slowly, very slowly, moved and sat on her bed. "Your existence?" Lucrecia wasn't sure what that meant--was she supposed to tell him about the birds and the bees, or that humans exist to reproduce and then die, or something else? Warning bells were going off in the back of her mind, but she ignored them like she usually did. She didn't have the heart to push Nataku away, because she worried what would happen to someone so clueless in Paradisa.

"They can't be." Nataku seemed actually desperate that they couldn't be -- if they were then they were still fighting. But, Father would honor its wish and not kill Mother. Still, what about the barriers? And the other Angels? They were not accountable to its wish. "They have to be here. I don't ... I don't know what I'd do if they weren't..."

"Not proper? But, why was I told that it was all right if it was in private?" It really didn't understand -- wasn't it proper if they were alone? Then, it wasn't proper for what they were doing in the elevator regardless of where and when it was. Nataku did not sigh as it did just look down, further confused and worried that it would never get these things right. "How many? Tokyo, Japan."

"Yes." A pause as it gathered its thoughts. "I am a clone. The scientists that created me were hoping for someone else, but ... they got me instead. I heard them as I was being ... formed ... that I had no soul, no emotions, and had no memories of the time before. I believed for a long time that this was true. But, I learned later from Mother and Father that I did -- do -- have those things. Does that mean I validate my existence, because I was able to retain these things? Or .. is it the fact that Grandfather loved me still, even though he believed that I was not perfect, not what he originally wanted? ... Mother had mentioned that to me, but ... I do not understand what she means. I do not .. even understand my question fully."

Finished, it let go of the lab coat to stare helplessly at Lucrecia for the answers.

"I'm sorry," Lucrecia repeated. She wondered how many times she had apologized since finding herself in Paradisa. Her eyes darted from her hands over to Nataku. This was all so strange. He had walked in, and here they were, talking, asking questions. And here she was feeling sorry for him.

A small, nervous laugh escaped Lucrecia. "I-I... it depends on how well you know the person, I suppose..." Time to hop to another subject before she began to turn red. "I'm not sure how many worlds, but... I've never heard of where you're from. So there's at least two."

She knew there were more. Dozens. But she was speaking as if she were talking to a child, and she didn't doubt that he would find a way to ask as many questions as possible.

... but of course, he had to be a clone. An experiment. Lucrecia felt her hands curl into small fists. She listened quietly, not able to look at him--it sounded familiar. She pushed the thoughts away and spoke carefully. "Even if you are a clone, you're still a separate being from the original. Even if you were exactly the same."

"Why? You did not hurt me." That was what Koschei had said if the person hurt them physically or hurt its feelings. Its feelings ... they were all right, because it still believed that its parents had to be somewhere close by. With so many residents, it just ... wasn't looking hard enough.

"But--" Nataku was going to ask 'how long should a person know someone before they licked them on the face,' Toboe had known it for a such a short time. Yet, it could tell that she did not want to answer those questions anymore. So, it would ask someone else about it. "Oh, I see... How is your world different? Why is there another world?"

"I don't understand. I'm not the same? Is that .. bad? But, I associate myself with those memories and that individual. That's not right?" It suddenly worried now as to 'who it was' if it was not 'Kazuki' and not her father. Then, who was it? "I cannot be that person?"

She was glad he didn't ask anything more about the licking. But Nataku's other questions weren't any easier. She shook her head. "I don't know. I don't think anyone does." Part of her was still wondering how she was out of that crystal.

"No, being different isn't bad." Which was funny, because hadn't she just told Sephiroth that being like everyone else wasn't bad, either? "You can't be another person... you're already your own, aren't you?"

After a few moments of silence, she nodded to her chair. "You can sit, if you want." Sure, he had nearly given her a heart attack by entering her room, but at least she didn't feel lonely anymore. Not that she tended to dwell on it, but it was nice talking to someone new.

"Oh." It wasn't sure how it felt about that answer, but if no one could answer it then, there was no helping that. Nataku remembered that it asked a question that had no answer back in its world -- but the person just explained that it was something about human nature. Somehow that was saddening that it couldn't understand. But, this was better that no one knew and had no reason why it shouldn't. "That's a good thing then."

"It isn't?" Further confirmation was indeed needed, if Nataku accepted this then it had to be sure that its parents would think that it was not bad either. "I don't know. ... I always considered myself to be 'Kazuki,' which is why I do not associate with the name 'Nataku' except that it is the name that I give to others. That name -- 'Kazuki' -- is what I want my parents' to call me. I do not know if I am my own person. My Mother and Father will still want me even if I am someone else when they find me? But, if I am not 'Kazuki' nor 'Nataku,' who am I?"

Nataku stared at the chair for a moment. "I don't really have a preference in standing or sitting." An honest statement. Little on the frazzled side, it was not quite sure what it should do with itself at the moment.

There was an odd sort of innocence about Nataku. That's what Lucrecia filed it away as. It reminded her of Vincent, back when she first met him. Even though he was a Turk, one of ShinRa's most feared... there was a childlike innocence that still clung to him. That wasn't true anymore, but she saw it in Nataku.

"No, it isn't. I'm sure your parents will still want you, regardless--Nataku or Kazuki." She paused, unsure whether she should say more. She went against her better judgment. "Since you introduced yourself to me as Nataku, that's who you are to me."

She could have laughed at his response--very Vincent-like--but shrugged instead. "Then... sit."

"Who I introduce myself as is who I am to people." It repeated the statement in a thoughtful fashion and wondered if it should tell others that it was 'Kazuki' from now on. No, it decided that that was all right so long as its parents would keep thinking that it was 'Kazuki.' "All right."

Nataku nodded once before leaving the lab coat alone to go sit down in the chair that she had indicated to earlier. It thought for a moment before asking, "Why were you reading something on biology?" That had been why it first came in, after all, and good to ask before it got sidetracked. But, then it remembered a conversation that it had in the journals with Yachiru.

"How long have you been here?" It thought that it would be all right to be here for awhile with its parents than go back. There would be no reason for them to keep fighting if now that they were here. "Are there others from your world here? Is that good that they are?" Nataku wasn't sure if it wanted to see the others; not that it didn't get along with them, but it just had never spent that much time with them.

Lucrecia ran her hand through her bangs. There was something very disturbing about how Nataku, still a stranger, really, didn't doubt what she said. Children were impressionable--they took to those around them, learned from them. But it was unsettling.

"I find it helpful to review things, sometimes." An honest answer. It was impossible to remember everything. There was little use so far for her science in Paradisa, but it was something to keep in mind. She hadn't been of help so far... but that didn't mean she couldn't be of help in the future.

Time seemed to go by quickly in Paradisa. If it was June... then... "About two months." So much had happened. Vincent, Sephiroth, and all the other people in the castle. "There are others from my world, but I only know one. I... I think it's good. We used to know each other a long time ago, so it's good to see him again."

Nataku watched the movement before sadly looking down. It wanted its parents to be around so that they could mess with its hair as well. Something about that -- was it a gesture? -- was very soothing.

"Oh." It was not sure what else to say at the moment; but it usually reviewed everything that people said to it to help it later figure out how it should act and behave. So, it did not see anything wrong with what she was doing as well. And that was when it could tack on something extra to say, "I do that, too. It is very helpful. Though, some of what I review is later contradicted. It becomes confusing when that happens."

"I see. Were those people here before or after you?" Perhaps, there was some way to gauge the time -- to figure out how long that it may have to wait for others of its world to arrive. It realized that it would be very helpful if they came -- they could help it find its parents, then. "Only know one. Don't you want to know the others? I'm glad that it is good."

A faint smile came to Lucrecia's face. "That does happen, sometimes, especially with out dated information." Somewhat like a child, but considerably intelligent.

"Most were here before me, I think..." But she couldn't be sure, and she didn't care to ask. Most were Vincent's friends, friends he could not remember. They remained to loyal to him, and it was that which made her shy away from them: the fear of what they would think of the woman that turned him into a so-called monster alongside Hojo.

Reno had become a close friend, but that may have branched from a shared employer--ShinRa. "Eventually," she lied. "Do you have many friends here, Nataku?"

"It's hard to know what to do with everything changing like that." Though, it hoped that it wasn't the only one having problems with that. "Are you doing all right?"

"That's good, isn't it? What did you lose when you came here?" Nataku thought that it must have been very nice if only if she lost any memories there would be those that could tell her what she had forgotten. To be reminded of such important events, it thought that she was ... very fortunate. A dull pain came as it wondered what that feeling was but could only set its hand on its chest and tug a little at the material.

"All right." It nodded. "Many? I don't know. There are a few that I now call my friends. I did not have any where I came from. It's ... strange to have them now. Difficult, because I do not know how to act. I only needed Mother and Father." A look down. "If that changes, will I still be a good child?"

How she hated that question. Giving a negative (but true) answer would just make her feel bad, but sometimes it was difficult forcing out a different response. Now, she settled with a nod, the faint smile still on her face. "I'm doing okay. How about you?" It never hurt to be polite... as long as she ignored that face that this person had entered her room without her permission.

... but had that really been a bad thing?

"I lost memories of... something," she said, not noticing that she was just about to pour her issues onto a stranger. Lucrecia shook her head, talking mostly to herself. "People tell me I had a son. They--my friend, he wouldn't lie to me, but it's so difficult to believe it when I can't remember." It was ironic. Nataku was missing his parents and Lucrecia was missing her child. Fate had a funny way of bringing people together.

"It's okay to need more than just your parents. It's good, actually," Lucrecia tried to sound comforting. "I think your parents are very lucky to have a child like you."

"I don't know." Nataku was being very honest about this, but remembered the confusion that Silverbolt had and thought to try to elaborate as much as it could. "I ... got into two fights. I was not wounded much if at all in the second, but the first, I had to be healed. It hurts a little bit, and I cannot tell how my wounds are. Physically, I am unsure, but ... emotionally, I am ... sad that I am not any closer to finding my parents. Still, those that I have met are my friends and I'm happy with them. It's confusing. How should I feel?"

"I see. ... Would my parents think that if they couldn't remember me?" It suddenly had new worries past that of just thinking that they merely forgot. "Won't your child be sad that you don't remember? It'll hurt that you aren't there...right?"

"Why is it good?" Kazuki had wanted to make friends, but Nataku was content with just its parents. It couldn't see why that was important to her if she had them. "Really? Why?" The wish that it made; it had not come true nor was it able to fulfill its Father's wish to have the barriers fall. Were they really lucky?

"Oh." Lucrecia took a good look at Nataku's face. Until then, her eyes had only caught quick glances of the stranger, out of nervousness or just her inability to make eye contact much anymore. There were signs of injury--a cut--but nothing serious that she could see. "I think you'll be okay." Again, that faint smile, but it faded away as Nataku continued. "I can't tell you how to feel... you just do. I can tell you that feeling conflicted is normal here, however." She knew it well.

Lucrecia looked down at her lap. She didn't know what to say. "My child, or the one who they say is my child, doesn't believe it, either. He thinks that some--" Monster, thing, alien. Something else. "That... someone else is his mother." It was too complicated. Sephiroth called Jenova mother, and Lucrecia wasn't sure why that bothered her so when the idea of him being her son scared her.

"It's good because having people to rely on is... good," she answered. "You seem like a nice person." Again, ignoring the little incident a while ago.

"Oh, that's good. People seemed bothered that I was hurt." Nataku looked away unsure what it should feel about that, but it didn't want them to be bothered. "... I just do." It repeated the sentence in a thoughtful way, deciding that it made as much sense as it could understand. "I'm glad that it is normal."

"My mother is not my mother, either. She is .. only the person that I associated to be my mother in my memories. I still believe her to be, but we are not related in any way." Another moment to look down as it wondered if its -- Kazuki's -- mother was in Paradisa, and such a thing happened, would she be sad as well. But, it didn't know if it could choose between the two memories. "I could have two of each. Couldn't I?" Kazuki had been adamant about her father having two brides, so, it made just as much sense to Nataku.

Of course, it also realized the similarities in their stories. It was difficult to think that this could be its real mother rather than the one that it associated with. But, that didn't make the latter any less real -- Nataku had already said as much. Still, it meant that it could not have to worry about her fighting in the battles, to truly return to being 'Kazuki.' Fretting for a moment, it decided that it had to ask, "Are ... are you my mother?"

"Why? ... Because they could eventually become 'siblings?' Someone had told me that she cared enough for her friends that she thought of them as brother and sisters." Another tacked on explanation. "Do I? ... I'm happy to hear that." It had seen her smile faintly and remembered what Kohaku had said -- and it had been practicing what with making the smiling expressions in the journals to show that it was. So, it tried its own smile -- though only a slight curve rather than any other difference from the otherwise mixture of confused and blank expressions.

"Of course. People usually don't like to see others harmed, especially if they happen to be friends." Every time someone was hurt in the castle, Lucrecia felt uneasy. It could easily be one of her friends.

She gave Nataku a thoughtful look. Technically, one could not have two mothers: a mother was the one that gave birth to you. But... a mother was really the one who raised you. So did it really matter? People could be adopted, fostered... "I suppose you could have two of each."

... and the moment the words left her mouth, Nataku asked if she were his mother and she almost choked. "Me? I... no, no, not biologically." She tried not to look too startled, choosing to look over to the window instead of at Nataku. She didn't hear his next question, still stuck on the whole mother thing.

She almost wished she could say yes. If this person were her child instead of Sephiroth, things would be so much easier. She wouldn't have some unstable murderer as a son and Nataku would have the mother he wanted to find so dearly. But it would be wrong. "I'm not the one you're looking for."

"Oh." It thought that it didn't like that thought either, though, it couldn't explain the reason why. Still, it was good to know that what it was doing was human. "I understand."

"That's good. I was... worried that that could not work." Nataku was glad that Kazuki was right about her ideas of having two brides. It had not been sure itself, and after finding Father, it really did not ever have the chance to think of it or bring it up.

For a moment, it felt disheartened that it had not found its mother. But then, it remembered what she had said before that she did not believe that she was, because she did not have the memories of it. If, if she really was its mother, but did not believe, then it had to make her believe that it was her child. Though, she had said 'son,' but it would admit that it looked like it was part of the male gender. Ignoring the niggling doubts as that would not do any good if it too doubted about her being its mother.

"Yes, yes you are. You have to be." It stood up so that it could walk over to her. Kneeling down, it remembered doing such with Father -- though it was a mixture of sign of respect to his title as Kamui and being who he was in its memories. "Even if you don't believe it, I'm sure that you are." Hesitantly it wanted to take her hands so that it could hold them as Kazuki would -- a tactile memory.

"I am ... not the same as before and as you said, I may be another person, but please, believe me that I'm your child." It couldn't continue to hesitate, because those memories did not do so. Before she had reached out and held it just like Father had, so. Nataku shuffled itself a little closer so that it could get up and hug her around the waist. That's all that Kazuki could do, after all. And while it would be little awkward with her in the chair, still, it was nice.

"Mother."

It felt like Lucrecia's heart was stuck in her throat. Nataku was just a lost child looking for his parents. Lucrecia's own child, while he had not ever harmed her, was essentially an experiment, if what she thought was correct. She didn't know what to say--she didn't want to break his heart, but...

It was only when Nataku moved to hug her that she made a sound--a small gasp. She couldn't remember the last time someone had hugged her, and the action was probably more surprising than it should have been. For a long time, she only stared down at Nataku.

Finally, she carefully placed a hand on top of his head. "I'm not your mother," she said quietly. "We're from two different worlds. But..." she hesitated. She didn't want to see another person hurt because of her actions or words. "I... suppose I can be a surrogate, until your real mother is found. If that's what you want."

She clenched her eyes shut as soon as she said it, almost expecting to be struck down by some higher power or for someone to slap her for being so stupid. But it never came.

Nataku stayed where it was waiting for some response from its supposed mother. Generally, just resting its head against her and keeping its eyes shut. Maybe, a real memory would come to it, but nothing did. It was about to let go when it felt her hand on its head. Looking up, it already was feeling better. Its shoulders slumped some as she spoke and it started to feel its chest hurt, again. However, that pain instantly disappeared as soon as she said that she would be its mother. It seemed like she did believe it.

"Yes, I wanted to see you and Father since I got here." It smiled at her, though instantly worried about the expression that she had on. "Mother, are you all right? Are you hurt?"

"I'm alright," Lucrecia replied, not quite sure but deciding to not worry Nataku. Being called mother felt... odd. She wasn't sure if she liked it or not, and worried a little. "Just..."

She found herself running her fingers through Nataku's hair. "Just remember, I'm not your real mother. I'm not the one you're trying to find. Please understand that." It almost hurt to say, but she didn't want to see him become too attached to her. She felt guilty--was she just taking in someone's broken project? Or perhaps she felt guilty because she knew she would probably end up causing more harm than good. Nevertheless, she was already finding herself fond of the stranger that had stumbled quite literally into her life.

"I'm glad." It really was already feeling much better with its hair being played with.

"I understand. You're the one that I associate with the mother of Kazuki in my memories." Nataku tilted its head slightly to show its mild confusion -- not so much this time as to what she said, but why she did not understand this. "Please, you'll call me 'Kazuki' now, won't you?" She had said before that she knew it as 'Nataku' but that would be sad to hear its Mother call it that.

Though, it did realize that it would have to go back to its room eventually. That was a rather sad thought; it didn't like the idea about being away from Mother for very long -- what if she were to disappear or lose something in the castle week? "What should I do? I ...worry about leaving you. That I won't be able to find you, again. I would be ... sad ... if that were to happen."

"Kazuki it is, then," Lucrecia said, giving pale hair one last gentle ruffle with her hand. She would make the best of this.

"You'll be able to find me." It was said with certainty. She had no intention of running off or disappearing, or so she constantly reassured herself. "If you need me, I'll be here. And you can always talk to me over the journals, too." Lucrecia paused, looking down at what she could barely register as her surrogate child. "Let me walk you back to your room, okay?"

It closed its eyes for a moment as it wondered if maybe that it would fall asleep, but it couldn't do that, or rather thought that it shouldn't.

"Really?" Nataku looked down and off to the side as though thinking about that and deciding that that was all right. Figuring something out, it looked up in a serious manner -- determined as it made a promise to her. After all, it had been ... feeling like its appearance to Paradisa was its own fault. "If Father decides to destroy humanity, I will keep my wish. I won't let you die."

"All right." Feeling better, it pulled away from its hug to get up out of the odd position that it was in. It wondered if it should hold out its hand for her to help her up -- thinking on this for awhile, it finally did, if only so that it could hold her hand (only grasping at the fingers rather than taking the whole hand) until they got to its room.

Lucrecia blinked. One, twice, and then three times. Destroy humanity? Oh, she should have been used to hearing things like that by now. Yet it still made her heartbeat quicken, and she took a steadying breath and gave Nataku--Kazuki--a weak smile.

She would make the best of this--and he said he wouldn't let her die, so...

Lucrecia took Nataku's hand and rose to her feet. Letting him hold on to her fingers, very much like a smaller child would do, she led him to the door. She would make the best of this... and who knows, maybe the whole thing would be good for the both of them. Somehow.

Nataku felt very much at ease as it walked with Lucrecia -- Mother -- to its room. It was slightly taller than her actually that now it would have to look down a little so that it could make eye contact. But, it did not feel like that mattered -- it had to do that before back in Tokyo, after all. And , though, it would rather take the stairs because that would mean that it would have a longer walk with her, but it didn't want to do something that she did not want. "Do you want to take the elevator?"

"Mother, has anyone been teasing or harassing to you?" It definitely wouldn't stand for something like that to happen. "You ... you've been all right, haven't you? I ... I don't know what I would do if something had happened to you while I was looking. Please, don't ... be mad."

"Stairs are fine, depending on what floor you live on," she said, smile taking on a more amused look.

Teasing? Harassing? No one teased her, and no one really paid mind enough to harass her. Vincent's friend, Cid, had been amazingly rude to her, but she wasn't one to bring it up again, so she ignored it. She looked up at Nataku and shook her head. "I'm not mad. Don't worry so much, hmm?" It would drive her insane.

As an afterthought, she gave his hand a squeeze. "It's okay."

"The seventh floor -- if that's not too far."

"... All right." It nodded once, though, probably still would worry about her. Though, it remembered Mother telling it that she was not as weak as she looked; that she could take care of herself. Was it being bothersome then, in worrying? Nataku felt a little better when she squeezed its hand.

"That's fine." A walk would do her good, or so she liked to think.

It was almost sweet how he worried, but she had to wonder if that was because of a memory instead of she herself. But she wasn't going to dwell on it--making the best of things didn't consist of brooding.

"All right." Despite the bland way that it said that, it actually was so much happier that she agreed that that wouldn't be too far.

"Last time, I wasn't able to ask you. What is your wish?" It had not been able to help her fulfill it after all, but it wondered if it could do such a thing. Was that ... choosing Mother over Father? It looked away, fretting about that for a moment. Still.

Though, it had always thought that she would be happy when it died for her; so that she would not have to and be safe with the barrier, with Father. Was that enough? It turned looked back at her, finding some sort of decision. Though, once more, leaving her out of its train of thought. "I don't want you sad or hurt, Mother."

As they walked up the stairs, Lucrecia stopped. She thought he had understood that she wasn't the mother from his memories. If anything, she had simply agreed to lend an ear, be a shoulder to cry on, and to look out for him--though the idea of someone actually needing her was appealing.

Lucrecia slowly moved to place her hands on either side of Nataku's face. Awkward, somewhat--she had known him for an hour or so, really--but keeping eye contact, she tried to explain. "Please, remember... I'm not really her. I don't have a wish." She smiled a little. "I don't want to see you hurt, either. But we'll take care of each other, okay?"

Nataku had been going to continue forward until the slight tug that almost had it lose its grip with Lucrecia's hand. A quick back step so that did not happen before it turned to see what was the matter. It would have asked if not silenced when she put her hands on its face -- Nataku remembered when Mother did this before; it meant that she wanted it to listen to what she had to say, but also meant that she wanted to comfort it as well.

It did not tilt its head as it could not at this time, but still able to stare in a way that meant that it did not quite understand. Yes, not really Kazuki's mother, but the one in its Tokyo memories; it understood. Thus, slow realization came before deciding that it merely confused what she had said earlier, but did not mention this instead to say, "Yes, I understand." A pause. "But you don't? When you do, please tell me it."

"All right." A faint smile. "Yes, we will."

[thread] knock knock

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