Thread: Dispassion [Cross Marian and Kanda Yuu]

[to-dark.livejournal.com]

Who: Cross (gen_cross) and Kanda (to_dark)
What: Questioning Kanda's recent actions.
When: After the events here
Where: Kanda's room 218
Rating: PG-13ish for language and violence



...He had not expected Allen to be so angry. No, wait, that was a lie. He had known the other was going to be downright furious with Kanda for all this. Still, he had not done it to piss anyone off. He rubbed his jaw uncomfortable and made his way back to his room.

...It couldn't have gone better, could it? No. It certainly could have gone worse.

Kanda swallowed hard, he wanted to go check up on Lae... but that would be endangering him without meaning to, right? And... he pushed his door open.


The smell of smoke burned the air. Cross breathed that scent in deeply, letting the ash from his cigarette fall to the floor of Kanda's room. He took a slow drink from a glass of wine as the door opened. General Cross Marian had seen that series of events in the woods, right down to every last order the Japanese exorcist defied. "Welcome back, Yuu Kanda."


The smell hit him first and Kanda's hand went straight for his sword, it relaxed slightly upon recognition although... dark eyes turned to Cross Marian with their usual calm impassivity. It shouldn't surprise him, really, should it? After all... General Cross did have a reputation. The exorcist dipped his head in greeting, far more polite than he would be with anyone else.

"General Cross."

He was in trouble.


Cross ignored Kanda's greeting, instead eyeing his cigarette. This castle didn't have his favored brand, but the flavor of these cigarettes was rich and expensive. It suited the general. He'd given simple orders, ones a toddler could follow. Guard the Heart. Guard the Innocence. Don't fight the Noah unless you intended to kill them. Most importantly, don't get in his way.

Kanda had failed to follow every one.

Letting the silence hang, Cross slowly finished this glass of wine. Tch. He'd have to get his hands dirty in a moment. He could finish the bottle later. Finally, Cross asked, "Well?"


Kanda stared back, silent. He didn't require a great deal of intelligence to understand why the General was here and what he would say. Kanda didn't really have a good defence either since he had gone against all of his orders to go after Lae and Skin Boric. It had not been something he sought out but... Axel was important, he was not going to let him get hurt because of their war.

...It was not fair, was it? That didn't matter, it simply was. Kanda lifted his head a little. Saying that he had disobeyed orders was hard.


"It seems," Cross drawled, looking mournfully at his empty glass, "that Noah managed to live. Both of them."

The glass was set gently on a table, next to the bottle of wine. The general stood, staring down the exorcist before him. "Yuu Kanda. The Japanese exorcist. I wonder what that person might think today."


Whatever Kanda expected to hear. That was not it. That. Was. Not. It. For all his self-control he couldn't hide the visible flinch at those last words.

That.

One.

Person.

...Couldn't die until he found... couldn't die... wouldn't die. He'd made a promise and...

Slowly he moulded his features back into their impassive state.


General Cross noticed the flinch. Of course he noticed; that's why he'd said those words. So he made his way, circling Kanda like a vulture waiting for that wounded rabbit to finally die. When he was standing before Kanda again, face to face, a gloved hand reached out and brushed against the tear in the exorcist coat.

"You tore your coat," he stated. These idiots had lost the mission. "That sword. That coat. Why do you suppose you have them?"


Kanda stood a little straighter feeling the general circle him... slowly, Kanda didn't like it. He hated it. General Theodore had never been like this but... this was not the general. Instead he lifted his chin a little and opened his mouth to reply, feeling much like a child.

Just like when he'd started his training.

"To carry out my duty, the orders, the mission without any distractions."


"That was an astounding display of failure," Cross ground out around his cigarette. His words were threatening and condescending, as though Kanda were the toddler he acted as earlier. "I'm sure that person would be very impressed by your dedication to the mission."He was close to Kanda now, daring him to step back. The smoke curled around their faces. Cross's hand was on the hilt of Kanda's sword. Would the exorcist be smart enough to stay still? The general smirked, his eyes shaded behind his red hair.


Yes... it had been, had it not? Kanda Yuu averted his eyes for a moment feeling the pressure of that dawn on him. That. One. Person. ...he glanced up again as he felt the General step closer, closer than he was comfortable with. Kanda hated people invading his personal space in any way shape or form. Mugen. Kanda fought back the urge to grasp his sword and pull it away from Cross' grasp.

He knew better.

He was an exorcist. Kanda didn't move, despite his visible discomfort.


Kanda's speed was well known in The Order. There was every possibility Kanda could stop Cross in the move he was about to make. This factor didn't detour the general. Cross stepped back, unsheathing Mugen as he went. Kanda's Innocence was in the general's hands. He eyed the dark sword, sharpened to perfection. The craftsmanship was truly stunning. "This is your Innocence. You are a soldier chosen by God. This Innocence chose you to wield it."Mugen was pointed against its master, not touching, but threatening. "You almost betrayed your Innocence. Letting the Noah escape. Abandoning your fallen comrades. Abandoning the Innocence. Most importantly, exorcist, you made me look bad."


Perhaps he could have. Perhaps not. Kanda didn't move. He had been trained to be a soldier to follow orders to his grave. Except he couldn't die... not yet... he felt Mugen taken from his side and held by the other more experienced exorcist. For all the threatening Kanda did with Mugen he never expected his Innocence to be turned upon him like this, blade clean, sharp and deadly pointed at him.

...General Cross was right and Kanda could say nothing. Would say nothing.


"It's admirable saving a life," Cross started, the blade of Mugen still holding Kanda at its mercy, "but we're concerned with saving many lives. How many people will die for the life you saved? Useless idiot. Tell me now how dedicated you are to the fate given to us."


Admirable? It... "It had nothing to do with that," Kanda replied before he could stop himself. It dawned on him that he had revealed something that was not appropriate and he pressed his lips together. Because... General Cross was right, had he killed the Noahs when he had the chance... "That one person." Kanda replied. That was all the answer, that was the key to his dedication.

He remembered now. To walk straight down the path he set out.


Cross didn't know much of this world just yet, but he knew enough to see that the exorcists had gotten lost. The easiest way to solve this would be to make an example of Kanda. Cross liked to take the straighter path. "It had nothing to do with the mission," Cross finished. He ignored Kanda's comment about that person. He was aware of Kanda's past and dedication to The Order. Perhaps that's why this behaviour was ...unexpected. Taking a firm hold of the sword, his leg dropped back. The seasoned soldier lashed out with the sword. Kanda's Innocence flew toward its master. A blow meant to kill.


Saying he was not surprised would be a lie. Being threatened with his own sword was not only a first but also an unwelcome experience. He was right, whatever Kanda had been doing... it had nothing to do with the mission. Nothing at all. He'd lost sight of that. Of the one person. That memory was heavy.

Kanda didn't move. Not for a single moment. He was not afraid of dying. He was afraid of failing.


The blade was heading for Kanda's throat. Cross had every intention of going through with the blow. Kanda didn't flinch nor move. The general grinned. The boy had a death wish. He had no plans to dodge.The blade stopped hardly an inch from Kanda's neck and held there. Cross met Kanda's gaze. "If you're looking to die, boy," Cross barked, "do it following the mission."The sword dropped from Kanda's neck and in a flash, Cross was there in its place. His fist lashed out and he punched Kanda in the jaw. Hard, with the intention to see him fall.


Did he? Kanda didn't know, he was simply too shocked. It was... it was not - his brain was not registering this scene right. It was simply just... it was simply... it all went down to that one person. The blade never reached his throat though. Kanda looked at Cross again, unsure. Kanda was never unsure. Dying would have been easier. That was person was not here. They couldn't be.

There was again, surprise as Cross replaced the blade and he felt a fist collide against his jaw. Kanda didn't fall, but the blow was enough to make him stumble back.


He watched Kanda stumble before taking a long drag on his cigarette, the sword comfortably at his side. "That reason wasn't enough today. That person might not be here. Are you terrified, boy?"With a quick motion of his hand, the blade of Mugen slashed over the rose cross on the coat, cutting Kanda as it went. A shallow cut, but it would bleed. Another drag on the cigarette before he dropped it to the ground. Rubbing it out with his heavy boot, Cross moved forward and hit Kanda again. Harder.


That. Person.

Kanda could have dodged that one, he didn't move as he felt his own blade slash clearly through the emblem on his uniform. The rose cross and then deeper, against his flesh. It would bleed. The exorcist lifted one hand instinctively to press there. He fell to one knee and then the blow came- harder. There was just no will to avoid the blow. He deserved them for failing his mission. He deserved them. Kanda knew it and so did Cross.

The floor was cold and Kanda felt his head spin, disoriented from that hit.


The general smiled when Kanda was on his back. The floor was where he belonged after the actions of today. There was no defending himself, Kanda was aware. "I don't care what your reason is," Cross said as his boot pressed against Kanda's chest. The move clearly said 'stay down.' "But grow up and find one. If it doesn't work, find another one. You don't get the quit Order or escape your fate."He had just snubbed his smoke, but he already wanted another one. "Do you think you deserve this Innocence?"


That hurt, Kanda let out a grunt of protest as he felt the boot pressed against his ribs. Regardless the exorcist gave the general as impassive look as he could muster. Control. He valued his control so much. He ...

...

"Yes." he stated, sure of himself. Mugen was his and he had... ah... he had never failed before. Not like this... surely Mugen understood...


Heh. So the boy had some dignity left. This was a lesson he needed to learn, one that Cross wanted all of them to feel. There were things bigger than a toy sword and soldier. The exorcists were small parts to a large machine. This was a fucking war."Then prove it," he spoke, his voice like ice. The glare in his one eye was harsh with the black cross on his white mask staring down at the boy. Reaching into his coat, Cross retrieved a cigarette. He let it rest on his lips. "Try to find that person without your Innocence. Let's see you protect your new friends without your sword. Prove you have an ounce of worth that's deserving of Mugen."


Prove it? Kanda felt indignation creep upwards, Mugen choose him, the General had no right in taking it... in making him prove it. Mugen was... once again, Kanda knew better than to challenge his superior. However without it... without it... could he still call himself an exorcist? Was he still part of the Order? Was he? This was a challenge and an order and a mission. And Kanda Yuu did not decline his missions, he did them.

He did not accept failure.


Cross smirked darkly at the indignant glare. That's fine. Be anrgy. Take it back. The general would give Mugen a good home until its master rose to the challenge. Flipping the sword in his hands, Cross carefully held Mugen at its blade. "Don't get in my way again," the general spoke pointedly. Kneeling, Cross lifted his arm and brought the hilt of Mugen down violently on Kanda's head. The general looked down at the boy. He wouldn't wake up for some time. Detaching the sheath from the exorcist, Cross Marian laid Mugen to rest and attached the sword to himself. Strolling over the table, Cross gathered his wine and glass. With practiced ease, he lit his cigarette. Tch. That was too much work. He needed to find a massage parlor immediately.