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paradisalost2007-03-05 08:21 am
to-dark.livejournal.com) wrote in paradisalost2007-03-05 08:21 am
Thread: A hiding to nothing [Axel & Kanda]
Who: Axel (![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
flurry_of_fire) and Kanda (to_dark)
What: Sleeping and waking up into a very awkward situation
When:After Tyki's and Axel's card game.
Where: Axel's room 513
Rating: PG-13 for m/m kissing
Well... that had been interesting, to say the least.
Axel hummed in thought while he picked up the cards laying over the table, pulling them together in a neat pile. Tyki had left a few minutes before, leaving Axel to clear the mess... not that he was under any obligation to. Maybe another action to chalk up to boredom, he wasn't sure. He shrugged off such thoughts and stood from his chair, and a portal opened up against a wall. Without a backward glance he entered and felt his impromptu doorway close behind him.
When it re-opened, Axel stepped into his own room and rubbed his neck with a loud sigh, frowning the slightest. Already he unconsciously sought out the only person allowed in here without complaints, and found him lying on the bed, back against the mattress and his eyes burning holes in the ceiling. "Doing some deep thinking?" he asked slyly, and made his way over so he could sit next to Kanda.
Kanda was quite focused on his exploration of the ceiling, any longer and he would have started naming the invisible spots he had counted endlessly again and again. He sighed and moved his eyes to the other, "No, just staring at the ceiling because it is fun." he replied sarcastically and rolled his eyes as he sat up. "Did you have fun?"
"Oh I had loads of fun," Axel replied cheekily, and dived into the bed like a two-year-old. Amusement glinted in his eyes as he watched Kanda be rocked out of place by his latest stunt, and the redhead happily took Kanda's heated spot. "Sorry you were so bored though, but I'm back." A snicker erupted low in his throat; chances were Kanda didn't approve of his presence right then.
Kanda said nothing, he merely rolled on his side to face Axel and scowl at him a little. It was his way of acknowledged the other's presence and his taking over of his heated spot. Well, if it made him content...then well...
The lack of words or death threats left Axel slightly confused, and his eyebrow lifted slowly. "Something wrong?" he asked quietly, ready to listen if Kanda needed someone to talk to. He couldn't sense anything wrong with the other, just... He seemed rather quiet, very thoughtful.
"No,nothing." Kanda knew there was nothing, he was just... thinking. Quite relaxed in a way? It was odd, he almost felt... as if things were normal and that was a strange feeling. He turned his eyes, keeping them on Axel and without thinking reached over to pull himself closer to the other. Almost normal, right?
A soft, surprised noise escaped, and Axel's expression grew to one of quiet bewilderment. Almost without conscious thought, he placed his arm around the other's waist and let him lie close. He didn't feel much of anything, more like his mind and body waited for something to happen."You sure?" he asked again, for clarification. His eyes searched Kanda's face for a give away.
Kanda closed his eyes and nodded. His face was carefully blank but it didn't mean anything, he could be simply enjoying the closeness from the other. Or maybe it was something else. Someone else who Kanda was thinking about. It was confusing. He wanted things back the way they were. It was no longer a possibility. He left his arm where it was,half curled, half resting on the other and relaxed. Everything would be fine right?
He kept thinking about Ravi. He was the same height as Lae or close enough, right?
Kanda's closeness now sent off warning signals in Axel's mind, but of course the redhead chose to ignore them. Still, his friend was certainly acting passive tonight. "Alright, if you say so..." He said that more to break the dense silence now surrounding them both, for his own peace of mind. His arm remained in place, resting comfortably over the other's body and Axel found his own eyes closing too. Maybe some sleep would be the thing they both needed.
And he... he slept well, Kanda had not felt quite as rested. In which he not only woke up but felt... not as annoyed as usual. It was early in the morning, but he'd always been a light sleeper and an early riser. Kanda awoke with his head tucked comfortably against a warm body and...for a moment sanity said she was on holiday. There was no other way of explaining this. None at all as he looked up at his bed companion.
...this was so wrong-
-but wouldn't hurt-
-he could just pretend- the swordsman lifted his face a little to press tentative lips against Axel's. He had not much of an idea of what he was doing.
Unlike Kanda, Axel could sleep through a tornado or otherwise, depending onhis health and other factors. It probably came with his background,having to gain as much sleep as possible during icy winters and such.That morning... however...
The pressure on his lips coaxed him away from sleep's embrace. Immediately the more alert part of his mind sought out to find reasonable answers while the rest of him just said'To hell with it, it's not hurting you'. It was this part of his mind Axel paid attention to, sighing warmly while his arms wrapped themselves more firmly against the body--
Axel's eyes slowly eased open. Kanda was sleeping with him, right against him... so...
His sleep heavy gaze slid downward, staring past Kanda's face as his mind began racing in circles. But he'd just woken up, and slumber still clouded his vision.
It's what Axel would tell himself later, even when he silently pressed his mouth against Kanda's in answer.
That little press of lips seemed to be all that Kanda needed and he pressed back against the other responding-awkwardly but firmly- warm mouth seeking out the other's again and again- a little desperately. A little lost and it was not hard to guess that wherever Kanda was- it was not really quite here in this moment.
And this was headed for disaster his mind knew.
...but his hand reached to tug on a red strand of hair.
Something akin to a soft moan greeted Kanda's newfound vigor; Axel's body decided it liked how nicely Kanda fit against him; it liked how insistent the kisses came at him; it liked Kanda stretching against him. His hands slid up the lithe back, rubbing both soothingly and with a newfound goal. He pressed back firmly. There was no need to think on his actions; his body seemed to know what it wanted, and what it needed right then.
And Kanda was lost... he liked how the hands pressed against his back and it was so familiar- although not quite there- but he didn't care pressing back against the other to push himself on top of Axel. Kissing... kissing had never been something he'd saw himself doing- ever. Yet here he was and the world had not ended yet. The swordsman paused slightly for breath but didn't move an inch further.
The move from his side to his back barely registered to Axel's hazy brain. He just accepted the new position without argument and continued his actions.For such a hard, outer attitude, Axel noted Kanda had very soft lips. A smirk pulled his lips upward and he grinned into the kisses, slowly moving his attention to the other's cheek, then throat, nuzzling the skin as he travelled. Both hands now rested on Kanda's back, pulling and coaxing him closer.
He nipped at the other, pressing back, this was so odd and so unlike him and so... well. Kanda would never hear the end of it if anyone saw him or heard of this and...
And Kanda was not the kind of person who ever let things slip. However he was so caught up in this- and who would have known Axel was so good at this?- the name escaped his lips, soft but there. "Ravi."
All actions abruptly halted when that name came tumbling out of Kanda's mouth. Small, but Axel had caught it nonetheless. His lips, still pressed against Kanda's throat, widened slightly in shock. His mind reeled from the shock and slowly, Axel found himself pulling back, eyes now wide open, to stare at Kanda with a questioning (perhaps a hurt) gaze. "What did you say?"he asked quietly, already knowing the answer but wanting the recognition to dawn in the swordsman's eyes.
Kanda was out of breath, and disappointed when things stopped. Dark eyes snapped open when he heard that question... and he knew that voice. And that was not- the colour drained from his face and he stared at Axel. There it was, the recognition, shock, acceptance and confusion it was all there and then Kanda made to get off the other because this was too close now, too close and he didn't know what to do or say.
Nothing but to escape.
"Kanda..." Axel looked searchingly at his friend before sighing, a hand running through the thick spikes of his hair while he attempted to calm his breathing.His brain could no longer blame the affects of sleep or anything of the like, leaving the Nobody defenceless to his own thoughts. The blunt truth hit him; Kanda had assumed he was...
"What a way to start the morning," he muttered to the air, and then a laugh he couldn't hold back came out, both amused and annoyed overtones mixing in an odd combination.
Kanda sat up, straddling unintentionally the body beneath him and then all his thoughts were shielded behind dark eyes as he lifted one hand over his eye and groaned. What a way to start the morning indeed. The adrenaline was still running through his brain and he couldn't calm down. The pleasant sensation was left behind and it was clouding his mind, his rationality- everything- this was way too confusing for someone like him to handle. Especially this.
God. Now he had screwed up, had he not?
The hand travelling through his hair fell over both eyes so Axel wouldn't have to look at Kanda yet. Now that he could properly think, the situation began to make sense with startling clarity. Well of course Kanda would think Axel to be Ravi. They both were similar in many ways, so the redhead couldn't place all blame on his friend. Also, maybe Kanda assumed this to be a time... before Ravi's memory loss?
He tossed the idea in the air and examined it from afar, twisting the possibility around.Well if this was the case, Axel hadn't made things better by responding the way he did. Kanda's groan of horror cemented this truth. "...Kanda, uh..." Finally he removed his hand from his eyes and looked at the other. "I'm sorry. Shouldn't have..." He cleared his throat.
...Ravi had told him during their snow fight that 'he just had to figure out how to do it for long enough' to make one fall silent. Kanda dropped his hand down to stare at his friend and wasn't sure what to say or think. Apologising to him? It had been Kanda's fault. This whole thing- he should have gone back to his room before this happened, he should have- he should not have let this happen. The swordsman had nothing to say but to want to silence the other- in the only way he knew how- this second brush of lips was tense and if possible more awkward. Hopefully it'd....
...and he had to go. Now. This- he was not Ravi. He was not. He was not!
And all Axel's careful, rational thinking went screaming away from Kanda's latest action, sending a new wave of confusion his way. The hell... Kanda--Why was the man doing this for a second time, now that he could see Ravi wasn't anywhere in the room? Axel made the slightest noise of protest.
And then he pressed back again, firm and insistent for a few moments. The heated feeling came pooling back, demanding more of this; he only barely managed to keep it at bay. He pulled away then.Damn, they both needed a kick to the head. "Kanda, as much as I enjoy this, aren't you..." He was referring to Ravi, of course, and before Kanda could even think of fleeing, Axel wrapped both arms around his friend again.
Axel knew him too well, Kanda had been about to pull away and flee after that one kiss- because it seemed that once it started it was hard to stop and he- he was not. He was not. Dammit, this was not-! Kanda's trail of thought went out the window when the other wrapped his arms around him and the swordsman stiffened in the hug but he didn't fight it. He even gave in a little.
"Yes. I am"
Thinking of Ravi and that... made no sense either, it was not... it was not like the other meant anything that important, right?
At this, Axel hummed an understanding, but didn't let go. He still had questions to ask. "Then why...?" Part of his looked at this situation in humor,finding it funny how they refused to speak names or occurances. It made the truth of what happened easier to look at, he supposed, without having to point fingers at anything but some nameless person.
He could see the reasoning behind the first kiss, but the second one left him baffled and wanting, demanding, an explanation.
Kanda was growing restless, he wanted the other to let go. "I don't know... he said..." always back to him, everything- it was not his idea of ideal. If that made sense. He didn't want to hear Axel apologise and he had not known another way of shutting the other up. But then perhaps for a moment he wanted to pretend a little longer?
Axel made another noise, indescribable in its form. Maybe something between a frustrated grunt and an understanding sigh. "You don't know? Your lack of knowledge will get you in trouble," he sang, and smirked gently at the other. "And he said what?" He'd let go, in due time. Right now Kanda would be stuck against his will, no matter how much he ended up complaining.
"...He said it was a way of making someone be quiet." He was referring to the second time of course and he looked up at Axel, trapped very securely in the other's grip, hair spilling over messily. One of these days someone was going to pull his hair... hard.
.... Oh.
"Oh."Axel literally was rendered speechless, and he removed his hold on Kanda. His face betrayed nothing as he stared up into Kanda's face,shaking it slightly so the silken black hairs wouldn't get into his eyes. "... Well... he was right."
Kanda didn't move for a couple of seconds, but then he rolled off the other and got off the bed, putting his shoes on. Leaving now sounded good he was not used to this, he was no good at this... he... uhg. He finished his shoes and the swordsman straightened. For a moment there was the temptation to explain but then he simply headed for the door.
There wasn't anything to stop him from leaving, and Axel didn't bother trying. The redhead sat up and let his eyes follow the swordsman around with a blunted type of sadness Axel wondered was even there. His mouth opened to say something, anything, but it hastily closed. Instead Axel flopped backwards and flung a hand over his eyes yet again, listening as Kanda shut the door behind him.
The door shut and Kanda felt the vague need to smack himself against the wall a few times. Maybe if he beat himself senseless he could ignore all this. As he hastily made his escape downstairs, flipping open the journal as he went along the hall.
Oh hell. Now he'd done it.
flurry_of_fire) and Kanda (to_dark)What: Sleeping and waking up into a very awkward situation
When:After Tyki's and Axel's card game.
Where: Axel's room 513
Rating: PG-13 for m/m kissing
Well... that had been interesting, to say the least.
Axel hummed in thought while he picked up the cards laying over the table, pulling them together in a neat pile. Tyki had left a few minutes before, leaving Axel to clear the mess... not that he was under any obligation to. Maybe another action to chalk up to boredom, he wasn't sure. He shrugged off such thoughts and stood from his chair, and a portal opened up against a wall. Without a backward glance he entered and felt his impromptu doorway close behind him.
When it re-opened, Axel stepped into his own room and rubbed his neck with a loud sigh, frowning the slightest. Already he unconsciously sought out the only person allowed in here without complaints, and found him lying on the bed, back against the mattress and his eyes burning holes in the ceiling. "Doing some deep thinking?" he asked slyly, and made his way over so he could sit next to Kanda.
Kanda was quite focused on his exploration of the ceiling, any longer and he would have started naming the invisible spots he had counted endlessly again and again. He sighed and moved his eyes to the other, "No, just staring at the ceiling because it is fun." he replied sarcastically and rolled his eyes as he sat up. "Did you have fun?"
"Oh I had loads of fun," Axel replied cheekily, and dived into the bed like a two-year-old. Amusement glinted in his eyes as he watched Kanda be rocked out of place by his latest stunt, and the redhead happily took Kanda's heated spot. "Sorry you were so bored though, but I'm back." A snicker erupted low in his throat; chances were Kanda didn't approve of his presence right then.
Kanda said nothing, he merely rolled on his side to face Axel and scowl at him a little. It was his way of acknowledged the other's presence and his taking over of his heated spot. Well, if it made him content...then well...
The lack of words or death threats left Axel slightly confused, and his eyebrow lifted slowly. "Something wrong?" he asked quietly, ready to listen if Kanda needed someone to talk to. He couldn't sense anything wrong with the other, just... He seemed rather quiet, very thoughtful.
"No,nothing." Kanda knew there was nothing, he was just... thinking. Quite relaxed in a way? It was odd, he almost felt... as if things were normal and that was a strange feeling. He turned his eyes, keeping them on Axel and without thinking reached over to pull himself closer to the other. Almost normal, right?
A soft, surprised noise escaped, and Axel's expression grew to one of quiet bewilderment. Almost without conscious thought, he placed his arm around the other's waist and let him lie close. He didn't feel much of anything, more like his mind and body waited for something to happen."You sure?" he asked again, for clarification. His eyes searched Kanda's face for a give away.
Kanda closed his eyes and nodded. His face was carefully blank but it didn't mean anything, he could be simply enjoying the closeness from the other. Or maybe it was something else. Someone else who Kanda was thinking about. It was confusing. He wanted things back the way they were. It was no longer a possibility. He left his arm where it was,half curled, half resting on the other and relaxed. Everything would be fine right?
He kept thinking about Ravi. He was the same height as Lae or close enough, right?
Kanda's closeness now sent off warning signals in Axel's mind, but of course the redhead chose to ignore them. Still, his friend was certainly acting passive tonight. "Alright, if you say so..." He said that more to break the dense silence now surrounding them both, for his own peace of mind. His arm remained in place, resting comfortably over the other's body and Axel found his own eyes closing too. Maybe some sleep would be the thing they both needed.
And he... he slept well, Kanda had not felt quite as rested. In which he not only woke up but felt... not as annoyed as usual. It was early in the morning, but he'd always been a light sleeper and an early riser. Kanda awoke with his head tucked comfortably against a warm body and...for a moment sanity said she was on holiday. There was no other way of explaining this. None at all as he looked up at his bed companion.
...this was so wrong-
-but wouldn't hurt-
-he could just pretend- the swordsman lifted his face a little to press tentative lips against Axel's. He had not much of an idea of what he was doing.
Unlike Kanda, Axel could sleep through a tornado or otherwise, depending onhis health and other factors. It probably came with his background,having to gain as much sleep as possible during icy winters and such.That morning... however...
The pressure on his lips coaxed him away from sleep's embrace. Immediately the more alert part of his mind sought out to find reasonable answers while the rest of him just said'To hell with it, it's not hurting you'. It was this part of his mind Axel paid attention to, sighing warmly while his arms wrapped themselves more firmly against the body--
Axel's eyes slowly eased open. Kanda was sleeping with him, right against him... so...
His sleep heavy gaze slid downward, staring past Kanda's face as his mind began racing in circles. But he'd just woken up, and slumber still clouded his vision.
It's what Axel would tell himself later, even when he silently pressed his mouth against Kanda's in answer.
That little press of lips seemed to be all that Kanda needed and he pressed back against the other responding-awkwardly but firmly- warm mouth seeking out the other's again and again- a little desperately. A little lost and it was not hard to guess that wherever Kanda was- it was not really quite here in this moment.
And this was headed for disaster his mind knew.
...but his hand reached to tug on a red strand of hair.
Something akin to a soft moan greeted Kanda's newfound vigor; Axel's body decided it liked how nicely Kanda fit against him; it liked how insistent the kisses came at him; it liked Kanda stretching against him. His hands slid up the lithe back, rubbing both soothingly and with a newfound goal. He pressed back firmly. There was no need to think on his actions; his body seemed to know what it wanted, and what it needed right then.
And Kanda was lost... he liked how the hands pressed against his back and it was so familiar- although not quite there- but he didn't care pressing back against the other to push himself on top of Axel. Kissing... kissing had never been something he'd saw himself doing- ever. Yet here he was and the world had not ended yet. The swordsman paused slightly for breath but didn't move an inch further.
The move from his side to his back barely registered to Axel's hazy brain. He just accepted the new position without argument and continued his actions.For such a hard, outer attitude, Axel noted Kanda had very soft lips. A smirk pulled his lips upward and he grinned into the kisses, slowly moving his attention to the other's cheek, then throat, nuzzling the skin as he travelled. Both hands now rested on Kanda's back, pulling and coaxing him closer.
He nipped at the other, pressing back, this was so odd and so unlike him and so... well. Kanda would never hear the end of it if anyone saw him or heard of this and...
And Kanda was not the kind of person who ever let things slip. However he was so caught up in this- and who would have known Axel was so good at this?- the name escaped his lips, soft but there. "Ravi."
All actions abruptly halted when that name came tumbling out of Kanda's mouth. Small, but Axel had caught it nonetheless. His lips, still pressed against Kanda's throat, widened slightly in shock. His mind reeled from the shock and slowly, Axel found himself pulling back, eyes now wide open, to stare at Kanda with a questioning (perhaps a hurt) gaze. "What did you say?"he asked quietly, already knowing the answer but wanting the recognition to dawn in the swordsman's eyes.
Kanda was out of breath, and disappointed when things stopped. Dark eyes snapped open when he heard that question... and he knew that voice. And that was not- the colour drained from his face and he stared at Axel. There it was, the recognition, shock, acceptance and confusion it was all there and then Kanda made to get off the other because this was too close now, too close and he didn't know what to do or say.
Nothing but to escape.
"Kanda..." Axel looked searchingly at his friend before sighing, a hand running through the thick spikes of his hair while he attempted to calm his breathing.His brain could no longer blame the affects of sleep or anything of the like, leaving the Nobody defenceless to his own thoughts. The blunt truth hit him; Kanda had assumed he was...
"What a way to start the morning," he muttered to the air, and then a laugh he couldn't hold back came out, both amused and annoyed overtones mixing in an odd combination.
Kanda sat up, straddling unintentionally the body beneath him and then all his thoughts were shielded behind dark eyes as he lifted one hand over his eye and groaned. What a way to start the morning indeed. The adrenaline was still running through his brain and he couldn't calm down. The pleasant sensation was left behind and it was clouding his mind, his rationality- everything- this was way too confusing for someone like him to handle. Especially this.
God. Now he had screwed up, had he not?
The hand travelling through his hair fell over both eyes so Axel wouldn't have to look at Kanda yet. Now that he could properly think, the situation began to make sense with startling clarity. Well of course Kanda would think Axel to be Ravi. They both were similar in many ways, so the redhead couldn't place all blame on his friend. Also, maybe Kanda assumed this to be a time... before Ravi's memory loss?
He tossed the idea in the air and examined it from afar, twisting the possibility around.Well if this was the case, Axel hadn't made things better by responding the way he did. Kanda's groan of horror cemented this truth. "...Kanda, uh..." Finally he removed his hand from his eyes and looked at the other. "I'm sorry. Shouldn't have..." He cleared his throat.
...Ravi had told him during their snow fight that 'he just had to figure out how to do it for long enough' to make one fall silent. Kanda dropped his hand down to stare at his friend and wasn't sure what to say or think. Apologising to him? It had been Kanda's fault. This whole thing- he should have gone back to his room before this happened, he should have- he should not have let this happen. The swordsman had nothing to say but to want to silence the other- in the only way he knew how- this second brush of lips was tense and if possible more awkward. Hopefully it'd....
...and he had to go. Now. This- he was not Ravi. He was not. He was not!
And all Axel's careful, rational thinking went screaming away from Kanda's latest action, sending a new wave of confusion his way. The hell... Kanda--Why was the man doing this for a second time, now that he could see Ravi wasn't anywhere in the room? Axel made the slightest noise of protest.
And then he pressed back again, firm and insistent for a few moments. The heated feeling came pooling back, demanding more of this; he only barely managed to keep it at bay. He pulled away then.Damn, they both needed a kick to the head. "Kanda, as much as I enjoy this, aren't you..." He was referring to Ravi, of course, and before Kanda could even think of fleeing, Axel wrapped both arms around his friend again.
Axel knew him too well, Kanda had been about to pull away and flee after that one kiss- because it seemed that once it started it was hard to stop and he- he was not. He was not. Dammit, this was not-! Kanda's trail of thought went out the window when the other wrapped his arms around him and the swordsman stiffened in the hug but he didn't fight it. He even gave in a little.
"Yes. I am"
Thinking of Ravi and that... made no sense either, it was not... it was not like the other meant anything that important, right?
At this, Axel hummed an understanding, but didn't let go. He still had questions to ask. "Then why...?" Part of his looked at this situation in humor,finding it funny how they refused to speak names or occurances. It made the truth of what happened easier to look at, he supposed, without having to point fingers at anything but some nameless person.
He could see the reasoning behind the first kiss, but the second one left him baffled and wanting, demanding, an explanation.
Kanda was growing restless, he wanted the other to let go. "I don't know... he said..." always back to him, everything- it was not his idea of ideal. If that made sense. He didn't want to hear Axel apologise and he had not known another way of shutting the other up. But then perhaps for a moment he wanted to pretend a little longer?
Axel made another noise, indescribable in its form. Maybe something between a frustrated grunt and an understanding sigh. "You don't know? Your lack of knowledge will get you in trouble," he sang, and smirked gently at the other. "And he said what?" He'd let go, in due time. Right now Kanda would be stuck against his will, no matter how much he ended up complaining.
"...He said it was a way of making someone be quiet." He was referring to the second time of course and he looked up at Axel, trapped very securely in the other's grip, hair spilling over messily. One of these days someone was going to pull his hair... hard.
.... Oh.
"Oh."Axel literally was rendered speechless, and he removed his hold on Kanda. His face betrayed nothing as he stared up into Kanda's face,shaking it slightly so the silken black hairs wouldn't get into his eyes. "... Well... he was right."
Kanda didn't move for a couple of seconds, but then he rolled off the other and got off the bed, putting his shoes on. Leaving now sounded good he was not used to this, he was no good at this... he... uhg. He finished his shoes and the swordsman straightened. For a moment there was the temptation to explain but then he simply headed for the door.
There wasn't anything to stop him from leaving, and Axel didn't bother trying. The redhead sat up and let his eyes follow the swordsman around with a blunted type of sadness Axel wondered was even there. His mouth opened to say something, anything, but it hastily closed. Instead Axel flopped backwards and flung a hand over his eyes yet again, listening as Kanda shut the door behind him.
The door shut and Kanda felt the vague need to smack himself against the wall a few times. Maybe if he beat himself senseless he could ignore all this. As he hastily made his escape downstairs, flipping open the journal as he went along the hall.
Oh hell. Now he'd done it.
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