paradisalost

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115.0

[Over the past few days, York's been trying to keep calm. Kat's name had disappeared from the room she and Noble-Six had shared, and he's scoured the floors at least three or four times and made several filtered entries to her. Wash was being unresponsive as well--his nameplate was still there, thank God--but even York couldn't pick the lock. So today he's pounding on the door in the third floor hallway. Naturally, he doesn't seem to notice or care that his journal has opened.]

God dammit Wash, open up or I'll break the damn door down!

[UNSC filter, sans Maine]

Please tell me you're all still here. We're down at least two, maybe three.

[/UNSC]

[Doctors]

Uh, you guys are still here, right? Please say you are. [Even if you're Muppets.]

[/Doctors]

((ooc: Open in person or over the journal. Probably not the best time for kissing unless you're one of the predetermined ones who will punch York in the face for trying.))

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[Carolina notices that gaze and just stares casually back. If the castle had its way, she'd likely be some kind of small yippy dog and something she would definitely not enjoy being. She'd prefer to be a tiger or a lioness and, well, she's understanding why he's pissed he was a panda. As long as its distracting him, she's okay with it.]

And Delta?

Red panda. Damn cute, too. [His voice softens, as it usually does when he's talking about Delta. Now there's one person who will never leave him.]

But yeah, I kinda figure there's no way it's going to be worse than it already is, so. Might as well vent about it a little.

[Carolina can't help but smile, maybe a little endeared by that softening tone. Still, she nods firmly in agreement to his second statement. She's essentially cleared her "schedule" for the rest of the night, so whatever he decides to do is what'll get done, as long as it isn't 'go off and try to pound the door open with his bare hands.' ]

Go right ahead.

[See, at least he knows his bare hands won't work if his armored hands won't work. York has that much common sense, at least.

He grimaces, though, and reaches for a beer. It might help to have some liquor in his hand, even if he's not going to be chugging it after his initial shot.]

It's just--it's the no warning part that's hard. We all understood that things could happen on missions--hell, even on the practice floor--but that the rest of the day? We could go back to our rooms and be pretty safe. Not really safe--but reasonably so.

Here? You either live on alert for your friends leaving forever and forgetting everything about you, or it catches you like a ton of bricks to the head. I don't really like either of those.

[And she'll have the bottle opener in her hand, holding it out for him.

Carolina would be lying if she said she didn't miss Freelancer because she definitely did, especially since she didn't have that distinct reason for closure like he and Wash had. She'd only heard about what the future holds and while she certainly trusts that they're telling the truth, it's different to see it with her own eyes. Project Freelancer was a home and the Director more than a father figure to her; she'd do literally anything for him.

While leaning on one elbow, she listens to him speak, electing not to speak on the matter of simply not getting attached to people because yeaaaah that's not going to help.] Which is it now?

[She's pretty sure it's the ton of bricks one, but hey she's not here to make judgments, she's here to let him vent.]

[He could always say just not get attached to people, but he does a shitty job of that and he knows it. Look at him now--Carolina had barely arrived, compared to Kat and Tex, and already he was spilling out his feelings to her.

Of course, it wasn't like they didn't already know each other. And even when it is people he doesn't know, well, at least the others from the UNSC would have some kind of idea how much it meant that there was a place like this somewhere in the universe. Some place where people you'd meet wouldn't necessarily have to go home to a losing war.]

I can't live being constantly afraid that everyone's going to leave me. That's no way to live at all. I have to believe they'll stay, at least as long as I'm around.

[He takes a drink of the beer.]

Which means all my friends leave me, sooner or later.

[Carolina nods at his answer, reaching to the table to grab a beer for herself. She pops the cap off onto the coffee table before re-settling herself on the couch. It's sad to see him like this, it really, truly is. Sure, he might pull the mock hurt looks here and there, but this is sincere, this is a very real thing that he deals with more often than Carolina even suspects.

As she's opening her mouth to respond, though, those sugar plum faeries are seizing the most inappropriate moment to come scurrying over and as Carolina attempts to swat them away, dust gets all over her.

Aaaaand she's reaching for the side of his face with her free hand, going right in for a kiss.]

[Wait, why is she

it's not silver bells this year

it's not turtledoves

people in the journal talking about--

yeah. Oh god.]

Carolina--

[NOPE HE CAN'T BE THE NICE GUY HERE he wants this too damn badly. Before he can even get her name out completely he's kissing her back hungrily.

He's wanted this for entirely too long not to take advantage of it.]

[Well Carolina's not at all sure of what the hell she's doing but the dust is certainly working its magic. The just-opened beer in her hand is being placed on the table as quickly as possible without breaking contact and, once both hands are properly free, she's threading her fingers through his hair and not at all stopping in the slightest.]

[Is it sad that he doesn't even need any magic for this? Not that the sugarplum fairies don't get a little dust on him, but hell. He doesn't need it.

He makes a very slight whimpering sound as she works her fingers through his hair and kisses back hard. He knows she can take hard. It's part of what he likes about her.]

[And she definitely is enjoying kissing him, especially with that intense reciprocation, even if the back of her mind is ordering the rest of her to put the brakes on immediately. She doesn't at all shy away and instead steps things up on her end. The hand on the side of his face slides down to the side of his neck, fingers digging in just slightly (but not anywhere near the implant slot - even under faerie magic).]

[As it happens, it's a very good thing she's careful of avoiding it. York gets a little...oversensitive about his implant slot. While that's not always a bad thing, he does like to know about it beforehand before anyone gets that close to digging around in his skull.

The aggressive behavior is exactly the kind of thing he likes though, so York will back off a little (not too much) and let her take control.

...Maybe he should catch one of the fairies and keep it around, just in case.]

[Feeling him back off just a hint is all she needs to keep right on going. She's sitting up straighter, navigating herself closer, and attempting to tip his head back just a little bit. It's odd to her, but she's planning out what to do next, considering moving down to his neck next.

That is, if the magic doesn't wear off first, which the back of her mind is hoping will happen soon, more to avoid embarrassment than actual concern over how their dynamic could change.]

[Nope, nope, the magic can stay, because while he doesn't need it he's pretty sure that wasn't quite enough booze to let Carolina start making out with him.

He does pull her closer, though, pressing a hand firmly on her back as he tilts his head back as per her request. He likes this direction. (And really hopes she doesn't punch him when she pulls out of the kiss.)]

[It definitely wasn't anywhere near the amount of booze that would have Carolina making out with him. She knows how to drink, if nothing else having older brothers ensured that.

Regardless of her ability to drink, she's utilizing his touch on her back as motivation to move even closer. Still, as she plucks her lips from his to move to his neck, that's when the magic wears off. So. She's got one hand worked into his hair, the other on his neck, and a good portion of her body is pressed up against his when she's coming back to her senses.

Oh. Staring down at him and furrowing her eyebrows, but not moving.]

What the hell was that? [Punch is coming if the answer isn't what she wants to hear.]

[York draws away reluctantly. He's clearly flushed, because god damn he's been wanting to do that for a while. He takes a few steadying breaths before answering her question.]

I'm going to guess it was the fairies, unless you have some mistletoe hanging around here somewhere.

[That's actually not the answer she was expecting. Her mind goes through the sings slowly, analytically: he hadn't pushed her away and even encouraged her to continue (and if he'd just wanted to get busy, there likely would have been a smartass answer along the lines of 'it's kissing'), the reluctance at pulling away, his flushed face now. These combined with things he's said to her are very much pointing in the direction of him wanting to be more than friends or teammates.]

I don't have any mistletoe.

[Meaning that the faeries definitely caused that overwhelming compulsion to kiss the hell out of him. The problem, to her, is that she liked kissing him, especially like that. Even now, she's just slowly disentangling herself from him, with no punching.

Shit. Time to get confirmations.] You reciprocated.

[Shiiiit. He really hopes that's not an accusing tone. York swallows.]

Well. Yeah.

[He scratches the back of his neck.]

A beautiful woman I respect and admire and like started kissing me when I was depressed. What did you want me to do?

[It hadn't been meant as an accusing tone, but whether or not it came off as such is something Carolina still needs work on lol. Well, his words confirm more than a few of those questions circling around in her mind. Being respected and admired is the biggest sticking point for her, but being called beautiful doesn't hurt either.

She pauses only a moment, not wanting him to assume the worst about her reaction. While continuing to think, she presses a kiss to his cheek, again not wanting him to assume that she's super pissed off. Confused, yes, pissed off, no. With all the words in what she thinks is the right place, she replies more fully.]

The team's safety and the job come first. You're on that team, York, and... [Oh words. Oh feelings. What even.] Going further would change things. This can't happen again.

[Sure, she could talk for hours about changing one dynamic could affect the whole team, but hell, she's a little selfish in not wanting so much change all at once. After all, she'd only been in the Castle for a month (which she still had problems considering real), learned that if she ever returns home she'll lose her position, her sanity, and team, and altogether, it's a lot to take in. A lot of change to take in for someone who really doesn't like change. A relationship would only add to that.

That and keeping him guessing is not something she wants to do; she'll make it clear from the get-go. ]

Edited 2011-12-07 17:12 (UTC)

[The second kiss--and the fact that she hasn't scrambled away--is a big relief to him, really. He's under no impression that she couldn't have just decked him in the jaw for kissing her without the aid of magic.

And she didn't outright say that she didn't want this, after all. he can absolutely understand wanting to wait until things are more settled first - that was the whole idea behind him threatening Wash not to tell her about her own future, after all. These things take time.

He's willing to wait, if time is what she wants. He nods slowly.]

Can't happen now? Or can't happen ever?

Edited 2011-12-07 17:28 (UTC)

[Well, that's the big question, isn't it? On one hand, Carolina doesn't want to lead York on in any way. She wants things to be clear, so there's no confusion down the line as to how much time is needed and how long is considered "enough" to settle. So, on that hand, the answer is obvious: this can't happen ever. But, there's still the whole matter of her feelings. She wants something more, not some fairytale relationship because yeah that's definitely not her thing. Instead, she wants something more along the lines of an intimate partnership, having someone she can always count on to be there, to put her first, and to be willing to go the distance. She wants that connection, not a lovey-dovey romance that has to be broadcast everywhere.

And she knows that they already have the foundation laid out for a relationship of her preferred type. Then there's the whole issue of the team and if a relationship that could possibly leak over into her and York's professional relationship; there's no guarantee it won't happen. Hell, Wash had already pinned her on the matter once. And, again, there's the issue of change.

So, she literally doesn't know what to tell York, if anything. The only viable option, she's realizing, is to be open and honest about her feelings and to tell him about her concerns, which is way more open than she's been with pretty much anyone. Ever. She lets out a breath and sits back a little, reaching for her beer.]

I don't know. Professionally, there's reasons that this should never happen, period. [No sugar coating.] Wash... when he first mentioned you were dead, he implied that he knew that... [This feelings stuff is weird and she doesn't like it.] I have feelings for you. We already have a firm foundation and if handled properly, then, personally, there's no reason not to.

Edited 2011-12-07 17:48 (UTC)

[He bites his lip until she gets to "I have feelings for you"--and there's no hiding the light in his eyes at that. Not being much of a liar himself, York does appreciate her honesty and candor. Now he knows he should watch what he's saying here very carefully, but it's hard when all he wants to do is grab one of those fairies and shake it over her.

He leans back, then, and nods.]

That's a lot better than "this can't happen". The tricky part is handling it properly.

Do you have any bright ideas for that? Or is that too lucky?

When are we ever lucky, York? [Carolina raises an amused eyebrow at him as she takes a drink of her beer.

As weird as it was opening up and actually acknowledging those personal feelings, it's oddly liberating to have all their cards laid out on the table. No secret aces to play, no hidden agendas or missing names on the roster. There aren't any big unknowns.]

Castle does hate me, [and his grin here is a little pained] so I guess I'll have to settle for being lucky enough that you're here at all.

[He takes another quick drink from his beer.]

Does kidnapping the fairies count as handling it properly? [lol he knows the answer is no]

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