paradisalost | (no subject)

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allen walker

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[Allen is in the lobby, sitting on the ground near the entrance of the castle. He looks rather strange today, wearing a ridiculous spacey outfit with a bucket of pure silver roses next to him. Working for the Host Club for money can really suck sometimes]

[He keeps glancing at the door, to see if anyone is going to come by, ~~and hoping to any molecule of luck that no one does~~. At the same time, he seems to be going through a pile of medical encyclopedias that are stacked up next to him. He reads a bit in one, before coming across a term that he doesn't recognize and switching to another one to look up that term - or in the dictionary that is also among the pile.]

Just a couple more hours of this should be good enough, right...?

[OOC: open post! Tags may be slow since I'm still very much on hiatus]

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[...He's going to have to look up Hippocampus later. Crap, why won't doctors just let go of dead languages?! But at least he knows you're mocking him]

Yes, it said such a thing, but your symptom doesn't match up especially with the argument that you're too crippled to be anything but a patient! You massage the leg as if it's clearly in pain and I'm willing to bet my paycheck that those pills you take are for pain. That doesn't seem to be very much in your head at all!

Edited 2011-11-26 04:54 (UTC)

[Because medicine is a branch of science and science has a boner for dead languages?]

Who said I'm too crippled to be anything but a patient? I just said I'm a cripple. Which I am. You're assuming. Of course, I could be a doctor if I really wanted to. Patients love sick doctors. Makes them feel better about themselves.

You said it in a way that I was supposed to assume that you were unable, and even kept arguing even when I didn't!

And if you are a doctor, I doubt you're one that cares how the patient feels. [Since you're a dick and a troll]

[He shrugs as he wishes for a highlighter. He drags the dictionary toward him and highlights the entry defining "somatoform" as he speaks. In the book he'd grabbed first, he opens to the index and browses through it.]

That's because I don't need to care about the patient to treat them. Emotions happen to be these messy, irrational things. Tend to cloud thinking, which is something you don't want clouded in the person supposed to keep you alive. Here. [He taps the page once when he finds what he's looking for and tosses both books to Allen.] Starts with 's' and ends in 'omatoform pain disorder'. Curious thing about it, you can have localized, debilitating pain without any real physical problem. Funny how that works.

What-

[He catches the book, getting to the page that House highlighted and starts looking through it, frowning more and more until he reaches the treatment part, reading out loud] -Ah!

"Prescription and nonprescription pain medications often do not work very well. These medications also can have side effects, and may carry the risk for abuse. Chronic pain syndromes of all types can often be treated with antidepressants and talk therapy."

[He looks back up at House]

Yes. Very funny. I'm sorry, but what sort of pills were those, exactly? [...He'll have to add Antidepressants to the list of things to look up later]

Vitamins. They keep me healthy and jolly.

[See this look House? this is the look that is given when Allen knows you are full of it. Better start getting used to it]

Edited 2011-11-26 06:23 (UTC)

[See this look? This is one of House's many "I give no fucks" looks. Better get used to those.]

Fine. [He sighs, dumping the book back onto the pile]

I don't really care what fantastic stories you wish to say is your aliment, I got my original question answered.

[And he's sat down long enough that the throbbing in his leg has dropped down to manageable levels. So he really is jolly at the moment. Or as much as he can be anyway.]

Delighted to be of assistance.

[Now his favorite part. Getting up. It takes some awkward shifting of his weight away from his right leg and a lot of relying on his cane, but he's had enough practice to manage it. Try offering help and see where he sticks the cane. B|]

[He notices, but doesn't make any move to help. This guy is ornery and Allen knows well enough- the helpful thing is not to do anything for the sake of pride.]

[Though that doesn't include giving out this little piece of advice]

You could probably get it treated here, you know.

With the magic some healers can use...there's only a few things that are beyond their capability.

Edited 2011-11-26 07:02 (UTC)

Unless your healers can regrow dead muscle, I'm sticking with it.

[He wishes for the resident's bible, the Differential Diagnosis Pocket Clinical Guide and holds it out.]

If you're really interested in diagnosing, use this. Look for the symptom in here and it already lists diagnoses, tests to confirm, treatment. Between this and that medical dictionary, you don't need the stack. [Unless you're secretly a nerd and want the stack.]

[He shrugs a little. Claire probably could, but she's no longer here...] I've never asked.

[He'll takes the guide, a bit surprised to be actual given such a useful tool]

...Thank you.

[He starts leafing through it a little. You have no idea what future pain you have just wrought upon yourself]

[He really doesn't. And he doesn't bother responding to the thanks. There's a clinic bed away from the chaos with his name and his portable TV.]

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