paradisalost | 020. [action

Entry tags:

tohru adachi

020. [action | I'm not sorry]

[If you come into the games room tonight you'll find something a little out of place. Something a little strange.

Why it's nothing other than a grown man sitting on the couch, hugging his knees close to his chest and watching some magical girl anime on the TV-

...wait.

That's right, after that whole Light Rock Warriors incident you'd think Adachi would never want to look at magical girls ever again. On the contrary, the opposite ended up happening: he ended up searching up some DVDs and waiting until late at night when the games room was empty and unused to start watching said DVDs. Might as well, right?

Tonight though he's in there earlier than usual. Why? Because he's downright excited for the episodes of the latest season of Cutie Pure he's watching tonight. Too excited to wait till later. So the instant that he found it empty he's in there ready to go.

He looks like a big kid getting far too involved in what he's watching, a bowl of popcorn next to him]

You can do it Pure Symphony!! Save your papa!

[oh god someone please catch him and ruin his life......... (or join him)]

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It felt confusing to say the least.

[that's something he mutters under his breath. He remembers what it was like back then, not even having a name or a face. Just blanks in his memory where a person should be. At least Tatsumi could tell it was his dad he was missing; Adachi couldn't even tell who was missing.

Yet... he's still not sure if he was better off back then when he didn't know any of that or have any of those things. When he was still ignorant. When he could pretend he forgot his girlfriend or something. When he wasn't busy asking himself "why that man?" stuck wondering why he was important to him at all forevermore. Nepeta called Dojima his "moirail" but...

He listens to Kanji and has to suppress an eye roll. Whatever. The kid will be stuck here for a year or two and realize how futile that kind of thinking is in time.]

Well if you do, don't send me home please. I'd rather be here than back in Japan.

[Adachi gets an eye roll in that Kanji doesn't even try to suppress.]

Just 'cause I'm givin' you a pass here, doesn't mean you get a pass at home. When we find a way home you're going back to finish payin' for what you did. When you're done you can go on and do whatever you want, go wherever you want--hell, you could come back here if you really like it that much better--but you gotta stand up and be a man about your punishment.

[Adachi stares at Kanji again momentarily in disbelief before laughing bitterly]

Wow. You really think that? You really think that I'm going to get out of prison? You kids really had and still have no idea do you?

Well, let me fill you in on a couple things about our glorious legal system. As an ex-cop, y'know. [there's a smile on his face, but it's not the same as the one he had on while talking about Pure Nanako and magical girls. It's a bitter mile from a jaded man that almost feels predatory in nature.] You know what's in my future back home?

A nice noose strung up by none other than the legal system itself.

I'm as good as death row kid. Even with the lack of evidence, my confession and the public's clamor for my death will be enough for them to go ahead and do it. It'll take years and maybe the legal system will change in that time or someone will find a loop hole on my behalf, but trust me. They'll damn well try. Just like they do with every other murderer. The Fog Murderer will die just like every other murderer before him.

That's the kind of world we live in; that's the kind of justice we serve. And you know what? At one point I was completely fine with that. I would have rather died than ever get out of prison and live in that shit world we call "home" again.

[the bitter smile is gone and instead Adachi resembles a defensive animal]

But then this place happened. And things have changed. And you'll have to drag me kicking from screaming back to that place and away from this life and people I've grown to actually care about.

[that last part hadn't been intended. It just came out that way. He hasn't even realized what he just said. Maybe someone has been taking notes from all the friendship speeches in magical girl shows after all...?]

[Kanji just stares at first. They're going to kill him? Sure he didn't pay that much attention to cops or laws or anything but could he seriously miss something that huge?]

What? ...you ain't lyin'?

[There's a long, long moment where he visibly struggles with that. If Adachi is lying he's just being a bastard like usual. If he's telling the truth...

Adachi deserves to be punished, no doubt about that. But he wasn't behind the whole damn thing. Izanami's gone, and Adachi has a big part of the blame, but not all of it. There's his own guilt too, a whole boatload of it.]

I wanted to kill Namatame. Not even with the TV; I wanted to beat the shit outta him. I wanted him to hurt and die for what he'd done--what I thought he'd done. We almost did it too; if Souji-senpai hadn't stopped us...

[He shudders at the memory.] Thinking it over later, I realized how wrong it was. Made me a hypocrite. Revenge isn't justice. If he didn't deserve a second chance once he'd paid for what he'd done, why did I? I did a lot of shit back before... I probably woulda killed somebody eventually, or gotten killed myself. You heard all about it, if the other cops are anything to go by.

[Then the frustration kicks in and he drags his hands through his hair, nearly snarling. He used to think cops were all bastards out to get him. Unfair and judgmental and making a big deal out of things that weren't. The case and his friends and Naoto changed his mind about that--he was part of the problem in his case, but hearing this... all the doubts bubble back up. He'll have to look it up later, if he can.]

What I'm tryin' to say... You deserve to be punished. You way deserve it. But you don't deserve to die. If I gotta stand up and say that to everybody, I will.

[It's only then that he even tries to tackle the rest and shit. Shit. Adachi cares about people. He'll believe it when he sees it, but that expression rings a bell. All that defensiveness, resorting to lashing out out of fear and anger. Oh yeah, he knows that expression. If the world was gonna hate him and be afraid of him he damn well was gonna give them a reason. He wasn't going to let them kick him while he was down; he'd hit them first. He doesn't like Adachi, but if this is true--big if--then maybe Adachi isn't entirely so different from the rest of them. Lost and hurting and running from his own fears and bad sides.]

I... I don't know. Dammit. I hate this.

[he still can't believe he cares about people either. Realizing what he said, he has to stop and think for a moment: who did he mean when he said that...?

He listens quietly. To be honest most of the stuff Kanji's saying means relatively nothing to him... but he guesses(?) he can appreciate that last sentiment.

He waves his hand dismissively] If it helps you sleep easier at night, you could think of my loss as continued punishment, considering the castle brought that person here then took him away again. [it was cruel as fuck thanks castle] Not to mention all the other shit it's done and will probably keep on doing.

[...Oh. Dojima. Adachi doesn't remember Dojima and... He can imagine trying to face his dad and not remembering and... He shudders. But yeah, he can see how it's a punishment, and the castle kind of is like a prison. On the other hand, he's with a bunch of innocent people.]

I don't like it, but I guess you're kinda right about that.

[A long pause.] Long as you don't do bad shit again, I'm willin' to live and let live.

[yeah it went pretty badly]

Well lucky for the both of us, that's exactly what I plan to do: not do bad shit.

There's worst people here than me that you should be spending your time worried about instead.

[He's not really comfortable with all of this and it shows.]

Good. And I'm tryin' not to go and judge people before I know 'em.

[welp, Adachi's not all that comfortable either so at least they share that. Man this whole conversation has gone a lot better than he ever would've expected though]

Well luckily the worst case offenders will probably let you know they're trouble before you even have a chance to judge them. [eyes back to the tv] And it looks like the worst offender was already sent ho-

Kyaaah!! Pure Tempo! Fight-o, fight-o!!

[...................welp.]

Hey, wait, what're you--

[You know, he wants to ask Adachi to finish that but...

yeah, he loves this just as much as Adachi does. The TV has won his attention once again.]

You can do it! Go, go!

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020. [action | I'm not sorry]

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1/2 tl;dr time omg i'm so sorry gjkdfhjkfd

but at least all my research finally went to good use... sob

1/? ...We all love some good tl;dr

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done. alskjf right back at you on the tl;dr I guess

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sorry this is so late!

It's okay! :3 1/2

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