paradisalost | ƒ005. mystic pizza... would be good for a slayer

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faith lehane

ƒ005. mystic pizza... would be good for a slayer

[The journal opens and a confused voice comes over the pages.]

What is... Kat Jess Sour...ee - Joanna's Bee Ren? [Faith is going through the kitchen in the castle, finding random packages and trying to figure out what they are. She pulls open the fridge and starts to rummage around.]

What about a Ferrari Rocker?

Any of this stuff gonna make me wish I hadn't eaten it?

[Apparently, living off of microwave popcorn and pretzels at the club isn't the best diet. She's starving and she knows the castle kitchen has free food.]

What about Nut Ella? [Thankfully, Faith is only picking out candy and sweet things.]

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[Yeah, you might was well of just spoken in Martian to him]

...Are you certain that is actually food?

[hey, for once she has no clue what it is either.]

Look, it's in the kitchen. Someone's gotta be eating this stuff.

Aren't rat poisons kept in kitchens, also?

[Gurl don't you start eating poison :|]

Probably? But I can figure out what that is. That says it right on the box. [Maybe she should worry about YOU eating rat poison.]

I tend to follow the rule if I don't reognise it, I don't eat it. [Yeah, because otherwise that sort of thing COULD happen]

[She shrugs, opening up one of the containers.]

Come down to the kitchen. You might wanna be around if I eat something that makes me keel over.

[He'd point out that he's still in hiding buuut Faith is pretty much up there with Aveline in the Badass Stakes, so he figures between the two of them, they can deal with Danarius if he shows]

...So long as you give your word not to fight me if I have to drag you to the clinic.

[He'll be a strollin' down]

I'm pretty sure I won't keel over from this ... jar of something.

That remains to be seen, Faith.

[And after a short while, here's a Fenris. Still looking a tad bit hunted. He doesn't put it past Danarius to be stalking around the place]

[When he enters, he'll find her with her finger literally in the jar of Nutella, grabbing a finger-full and going to eat it. SPOONS? WHO NEEDS SPOONS?

Or bread apparently.]

'Sup, Short Stuff.

[Woman what did he just tell you about eating stuff in jars?

He folds his arms with a huff]

I am not short, I'm the normal height for an elf.

Yeah, but it's easier to say than: Shorter than me - stuff.

[shrugs and just eats that Nutella off her finger. She's already figured out that it's got chocolate in it.]

So it would seem.

[...No. No he's got to ask] What are you eating?

Uh... [She twists the jar around to look at the label again]

Nutella? I don't know, but it's peanut butter and chocolate. Kinda like frosting without the cake. [PASSES THE JAR TO SHORTY. He can smell it or taste it. HIS CALL. or just stare at her.]

[What is peanut butter? WHAT IS CHOCOLATE?]

I...see.

[He'll take it and...sniff it cautiously] And people....eat this?

Yeah, it's good, too.

[she goes to grab something else from the fridge]

Just try it.

[He looks at the nutella with a frown, before sighing and looking for a spoon. Because at least he has SOME standards. He tries it in the same manner as one would try something he thought was passed it's sell by date and had green bits floating in it]

...This is very strange.

[And you are very short...]

Strange but you're not dying, right? [Watch him be an elf with an allergy to Nutella]

[Not when compared to...um... Varric]

No. It seems a very fine desert food.

[Yeah well, Danarius didn't keep him for his culinary skills. He eats a little more, before putting the jar in one of his little belt pouches for later]

Dessert food? [she shakes her head]

Doesn't say anywhere on there that it's for dessert.

[and back to the stack of stuff she pilfered from the cabinets.]

I wonder if there's bagels.

It is sweet, surely that means it is a dessert food? [Yes this his his logic and he's sticking to it]

The castle seems to be stocked with everything, I would not be surprised if they did.

Nah. [she waves him off and goes toward the fridge, don't mind her in your personal space as she rummages through the shelves and pulls out a bag of bagels]

People just like to make up rules about food. It's food. You should be able to eat it whenever you want.

[she's taking out a bagel now and going to reach for the toaster to pull it toward her.] Have you used this yet?

[Why must everyone invade his personal space? It's special to him.

He frowns a little as she pulls over the tiny little box, any awkwardness with her invading said space forgotten in favour of curiosity]

...I thought it was just a metal box.

It's a toaster. [she tips it forward to show him the inside. CRUMBS all over.]

Wires inside heat up and the bread gets toasted.

[clunk. down it goes. Where... did that Nutella go... ?? HMMM. Cream cheese it is!]

You just set it to the middle here and drop the bagels in. [drops in the slots]

Push the lever down and wait. [PUSHES the lever] It's timed out, so the further this way you put the dial the longer it stays down. Too far over and it burns.

[He's watching with morbid fascination. Sadly, the first thought that comes to his mind is that 'it would really hurt to trap someone's hand in that', but Fenris is a little bit of a pyschopath so there you go]

Is cooking things over a blazing fire too much of a challenge for people?

Dictated forever

yes. that. forever.

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