16 blueprints - moar frustrated dictation

[teds-up.livejournal.com]

Stupid. Freaking. CASTLE!

[If one person were sent home every time that phrase was used, then the castle would be undoubtedly empty by now. So what's it done this time that Ted feels a certain need to reiterate his contempt for his current residence?


Furious writing can be heard. Furious, because if Ted had been using the pencil properly and with some amount of delicacy, it'd be very unlikely that anyone except those with keen hearing would pick up the sounds. But no, this time, they ring sharp and clear through the air, the movements so rapid and harsh, one might have thought Ted was having a war with his paper.

They wouldn't have been entirely wrong.]

Ughn... rrrhhhh.... Come on!

[It's obvious that from his lowered tone, that this is one of many accidental recordings of the journal. Perhaps not completely accidental, however. After all, even to hear violent writing (sketching?) so clearly, the book had to be open very nearby, so Ted should be aware of its presence.

And then there's an angered crumpling of paper, a punctuated Augh! as Ted throws it across his room. His breath could be heard, and it was wavering with rage. But when Ted speaks again, there's a hard determination in his tone:]

You're not going to best me, you stupid excuse for a castle... No matter what it takes, I will start designing again. You can't beat passion like this. No. Nothing will snuff out my desire to create. I've been doing this since I was a kid. If you think a few months being design-blocked is going to stop something I've been doing for practically all my life, then you are sorely mistaken, Paradisa!

Puh... Paradisa... More like Helladisa...

Comments

[encourage]

My training. They're -- people use powers, and it seems like it's something different around here than it is back home. SO yes, one of my "powers." One that comes out of years of training and practice in the hospital and the field.

[teds-up.livejournal.com]

So you've had to practice. So-- it's not flawless.

[encourage]

Nothing's flawless.

[teds-up.livejournal.com]

Exactly! And neither are this castle's stupid losses. If we keep trying, we'll find the cracks!

[encourage]

I don't think anyone has stopped. Trying, that is. Pushing whatever it is that manipulates us until it continues to give has been 'the plan' for a while, from what I know.

[teds-up.livejournal.com]

Well, maybe we should make a bit of a more-- I don't know, a concentrated effort?

..heh, maybe I'm just high off my latest accomplishment.

[encourage]

Organize one, we can always use more. Waiting for it to happen is the sure way to make sure nothing does.

What's that?

[teds-up.livejournal.com]

[FIDGIT.] Iiiii'm not much of a leader. [Especially of.... people who all have special powers and are all way more strong than him asdlfkjsdf]

Weelll, I think I've found my crack, so to speak.

Uh. Proverbial. crack. You know what I mean.

[A W K W A R D .]

[encourage]

Have you tried?

[ ... yeah long silence from her after that. waiting. for him to continue. ]

... What is it?

[teds-up.livejournal.com]

I uh-- here.

[He draws an arrow up to a previous reply (http://paradisa.livejournal.com/13625858.html?thread=831303682#t831303682) because he's already explained himself twice and is getting lazy!

ALSO LOL AVOIDING THE OTHER QUESTION......

although he probably wouldn't be a bad leader if he put his mind to it, and got over the whole being terribly normal in a supernatural world thing.]

[encourage]

Hey, that's amazing!

As for the other part, you didn't answer me. Have you tried?

[teds-up.livejournal.com]

[That might have been a tiny grumble. He was trying to avoid it, Sakura! Why you do this?]

Well, yeah, but leading a bunch of people to make your skyscraper isn't exactly the same as... well, you know.

[encourage]

Assume I don't. Isn't exactly the same as what?

[teds-up.livejournal.com]

Um. I just... wouldn't know where to start, that's all.

[lmfao he is kind of flailing inwardly. his prejudice against magical peoples is kind of embarassing, and it's kind of difficult to talk about it, especially to someone who happens to be magical themselves.]

[encourage]

Think of it like... building, right? It's a project. What's the first step in any project you work on? The basic things you need so you can get going. How do you plan for that?

[ she'd hate being called magical. to all her understandings, she's anything but, and it bothers her -- the disassociation that tags along with the label. ]

[teds-up.livejournal.com]

Well, I guess I'd have to start by knowing what kind of losses I'm dealing with.

I mean, I know my loss. I know your loss. ... I know Barney's loss. But I think that's the extent of it.

[Magical, supernatural, it's all the same to him. And hey, Ted doesn't actually mind talking about all this! ...it's probably because they strayed away from the idea of him taking charge, haha.]

[encourage]

So you start by compiling a list of people's major losses. What next?

[teds-up.livejournal.com]

Well, I-- don't know. How you'd approach it would really be based on the loss...

[encourage]

How would you suggest dealing with ones based on memories, to start with?

[teds-up.livejournal.com]

[HOW DID YOU KNOW

It takes awhile for Ted to respond, because him learning about Barney's loss happened rather recently, and knowing one of his best friends couldn't remember who he was was a bit unsettling.]

I guess... we'd try to remember memories that had the strongest emotion attached to them. Ones we had together and we could both feel our friendship strengthened during that one memory, you know?

[encourage]

One question for you, Ted: what's more important?

The past, the present, or the future?

[teds-up.livejournal.com]

[A soft, amused sound.] Getting psychological on me now, Sakura?

[encourage]

People've asked me the same thing. There was a woman here for a while who had come from a place on -- I'm not sure, I think it was an Earth -- where there, she'd lost all her memories. Everything she'd been once, gone. She wondered what that meant for now, and the future.

I feel people learn those answers for themselves. The memories don't come back, but you form new ones, make those connections over again in different ways. Is that worse? Less genuine? What if these memories were lost in head trauma? It's hard. And it'd be nicer to have them back.

What can you do, if they aren't coming back? Stare backward, dig through the past, or keep the hope you might find it as you live now, and strive for answers in a future?

[teds-up.livejournal.com]

[Ted takes some time to mull over this.]

The future is what you can change. Where you can find answers. But you can find answers in the past, too.

I don't know. Honestly, I think they're all important. Each just as much as the other. If you completely disregarded the past, you'd never improve. And if you disregarded the future, you'd never be prepared for what's coming-- or be able to change it.

And if you disregarded the present, well.

You'd never go anywhere.

[encourage]

I think you'll be good, thinking like that. Not forgetting one or the other.

Memories are like dreams. Good ones, bad ones, half remembered ones, and all yours, no matter the filling. I hope you do end up finding those missing ones for the ones who lost them. I really do.