paradisalost | (no subject)

Hi, I'm Freelancer York, from Cair Paradisa.

I am Nagato Yuki.

We're here to talk to you all about a subject most of you are already familiar with, but may lack the finer details about. That's right, folks. Today's subject is pirates!

Pirates are defined as individuals who engage in war-like acts against others while at sea. It is distinct from privateering as it is not sanctioned by national authorities.

Pirates mostly seemed to do this because they were ill-tempered. This was because most of them had scurvy.

Scurvy is a disease caused by vitamin C deficiency. Symptoms include but are not limited to: malaise, shortness of breath, bone pain, myalgias, jaundice, gum disease, oliguria, fever, neuropathy, convulsions and death.

This is why we brought all those lemons and limes onboard with the supply runs. Of course, what kind of pirate likes to eat fruit? This is why they invented grog, which is a combination of the essential citrus and a pirate's favorite drink: rum.

Rum is a spirituous liquor made from the sugarcane by-products that are the result of boiling - molasses and foam. Distillation and fermentation techniques are used to create it, and it is typically aged in oak barrels.

Also, it tastes like paint thinner with a little sugar and gets you wasted really fast. So pirates are also notorious for making bad decisions, like letting birds and monkeys onto their ships. Several Paradisans found this out firsthand.

Delta was a parrot for the duration of the event. Monkeys also seem to be a popular animal onboard pirate ships in novels.

When pirates weren't stealing these animals, they purchased them. Some of you may have noticed that the coins out there weren't Caisos - they were dubloons and pieces of eight.

'Dubloon', Spanish for 'double', was an 8 escudo gold coin weighing approximately one ounce. Pieces of eight was an 8 reale silver coin, also weighing approximately one ounce.

I know I wasn't the only one who kept some coins. We might be able to tell something by the symbols on them. Which brings me to my next point: the symbol of a pirate. As all of you on the attacked ship are painfully aware, the most common symbol of a pirate is the Jolly Roger. This is not the same as a Jolly Rancher.

... What is a Jolly Rancher?

It's a candy that supposedly has fruit flavor, but you can mostly tell them apart by the color.

I see.

The original skull and crossbones design was created by several pirate captains, though variations can include other objects or a modified design. The first written instance of the term 'Jolly Roger' occurs in Charles Johnson's A General History of the Pyrates, published in 1724. The flags indicated to nearby ships that the crew did not adhere to normal rules of engagement, and therefore could be considered hostile or dangerous.

And speaking of hostile and dangerous, harpies are fucking bitches.

That about wraps it up. I hope you've all learned a lot about pirates and, just maybe, a little bit about yourselves. This is Freelancer York, signing off.

Nagato Yuki. The same.