paradisalost

[Kaito]
It has been long since last we spoke. How have you fared?

[Felix]
You need not answer me if it will be difficult for you. However, it would put my heart at ease to hear how you have fared since last we met.

[Deathwing]
[There is a small bouquet of roses outside your door, delivered via castle ghost-no note or anything. Do with them as you will; she has made her point. And yes, she's perfectly aware that your room was invaded recently; it's why she figures you'll be keeping an eye on it.]

[One of the few benefits of this place was the borrowed time with her granddaughter. So, it should be no surprise that Galadriel once again finds herself wandering up to Arwen's room. When she gets there, however, she is met by a blank name plate.

She just stares for a moment, waves of emotion washing over her- sorrow, relief, anxiety about what Arwen will face in their own world. Eventually, she opens the journal and dictates in a voice devoid of sentiment; whatever she's feeling, she's not about to broadcast it to the entire castle.]

The Lady Arwen Undómiel has been returned to her home. [There's a long pause] It is for the best. I would like to personally extend my gratitude to all who showed her hospitality and kindness while she was here. I cannot thank you enough for making her stay a little less trying.

[And now you can find her under Alexstrasza's tree, ~~brooding~~ thinking. Bother her if you want, but she's feeling a little melancholy.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Had you given me warning, I mightn't have pushed as forcefully.

[Gently] For good or ill, our pasts have formed us. Burying such memories often does more harm than good.

[He suspected that too, but that was also counter-intuitive to punishing himself. It wasn't really fair to Galadriel, but Felix often forgot to consider how his actions affected others in turn]

I am not particularly fond of the person they formed. But you are correct - denying it will not change me.

[Yes, you little jerk. She's been feeling badly about this for sometime now.]

You judge yourself too harshly.

[He'd feel badly now if he he knew that...]

Do I? What decent person does the things I have done? I could blame [There is a brief scribble as he nearly writes Malkar's name] my past for it, but the blood is on my hands, literally and figuratively.

[Her voice is stern, almost a little angry.]

Think you that you are the only one here with blood on his hands? Or who fears becoming that which he hates? I assure you, you are not.

[There is a long pause at this. He begins to write, but quickly scribbles it out in frustration, and he speaks at last, his voice strained]

I'm sorry. I didn't mean ---

I don't know what I meant. It it just very difficult, to have to compare yourself to a monster, to see reflections of him in yourself every day.

[A sigh]

Do not apologize. Not to me.

That it causes you such pain marks you as a different sort of man. Do you believe that a monster would concern himself over being such? We are who we choose to be- no more, no less.

And nothing else matters?

Nothing else is within our control. The past cannot be undone, nor its effects be erased, but it need not determine your future.

...my future...

I hardly feel in control of that either.

Even in the midst of forces greater than ourselves, we may chose our paths. I would I could offer more comfort than that.

[There is another long stretch of silence at that, but when he answers he does sound calmer]

It's fine. And you are correct. It's why I started Chimera. As much as others may suspect it of me, I don't want more power. I do not desire it, nor do I need it. I do terrible things with it. I want to find a way home. For...for myself and for everyone else. I want to save the residents from as much hardship as I can. In the very least...I want to try.

Then you have already shown more wisdom than many.

[Knowing that you would abuse power and having the strength to turn it down...it's hard. And she has a great deal of respect for any who can do so.]

I had to learn much of that the hard way.

[She kind of figured that.]

I am sorry to hear it. Yet pain and experience are oft better teachers than aught else could be.

You are quite right about that, my lady.

Canad

[Felix]

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