paradisalost | 046; what the bloody hell?

[dictated, in a sort of concerned-worried-angry tone]

You! I understand Rose was in trouble, but you could have given yourself a heart attack! NOT. SAFE. See those words? READ THEM! Understand me? If you want to run around willy nilly, at least let me show you how to do it so you don't fall over and bloody well die!

If you do it again, I'm tying you to a chair. I've got a stick. I'll use it to keep you in that chair.

[dictated in a concerned tone]

I have no idea what you were doing, but I think it's best if I say that you should never, ever, in a million, billion years do that again. Whatever that was. I don't know you too well, but whatever it was you were doing did not sound pleasant and you going off and dying before I get to properly know you is just... just rude is what it is!

[dictated]

Oh, somebody just hit me in the head until I die. I've got a headache. People goin' off and doin' things and me gettin' worried about 'em when I barely know one of them and... augh, it's useless! Utterly useless!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[dictated]

Valentine, I appreciate that concern of yours, really. But see? No heart attack! Just a little dizzy, s'all, I'll be fine.

I needed to go out there, you realize that. Besides, nineteen flights of stairs? Good cardio workout.

[written in his elegant, cursive handwriting. Don't want to disturb Helena more!]

Dizzy is not a good thing. What if you had a heart attack, hm, Doctor? Wouldn't have been too fun dying and all. Your heart is probably in terrible condition for... going down nineteen flights of stairs. I've been running from things me entire life (with one heart, I might add) and even I GET TIRED GOING DOWN THAT MUCH.

And yes, I understand that. I probably would have done the same thing, but unlike you, I probably would not have had a high probability of dying.

Oh, come off it! I happen to know quite a bit about the human heart, and I know that it can't go into arrest by running down some bloody stairs unless I've gained quite a bit of damage to the heart beforehand. Now, being a human for about twelve hours, I would assume my heart is in fine shape, thank you very much!

Alive now, aren't I?

It might. You never know. People's bodies do random things for no clear reason. Like combusting. Just poof, right up into flame for no reason at all. So a random heart attack could happen. And combustion. I don't think you'd combust by running down stairs though. That's absurd.

Yes. But you could have. The best rule to keep in mind while being human is caution.

You know, it's not fun worrying about you. Stop getting into trouble! Or, er, don't get into anymore!

Right-o, I'll just lock myself in my room for the next seven days in case walking causes me to keel over and die. Or spontaneously combust.

I can't help it! It follows me!

I was just thinking. I'm very easily distracted. And concerned. I just don't want to have to go: Ah, snap, well, there went a good friend. I've done that a few times already and I've got no desire to do it again. But considering the people in the castle, locking yourself in your room would probably be the safest, even if you weren't human. Someone might pop out and stab you then skip merrily off into the sunset!

Well, get some sort of anti-trouble spray! Or something!

Yees, yes, I understand. But you can stop worrying, really. I'm back inside now, resting up, should be up and about in no time. ~~Aw, where's the fun in that?~~

Oh, if only it were that simple. But everywhere I'm running for my life, and if I'm not running for my life I'm running for someone else's! Mad, all of it.

Good then. Don't like worrying about people. There was fun in that in the first place? I must've been mistaken! All me life I thought being impaled was a terrible thing! [transcribed laugh]

Totally understand. I don't run for me life often, but when I do... oh, it's good enough to last me for a very long time. Let's just lock everyone up. Then we won't have to run about keeping tabs on everyone!

Really? Hadn't noticed. ~~Not so much the impaling, just the chase leading up to the moment of truth, really. Gets the blood flowing.~~

Bit of a coward, aren't you? [doodled ':P']

Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell. [transcribed laugh] 'Gets the blood flowing' quite litterally...

I like to think of meself as 'cautious' and 'prudent' moreso than 'cowardly'.

I like to think of myself as 'blunt' and 'honest' moreso than 'sarcastic'. [transcribed amused laugh, anyway] ~~... Hah! Well, I guess it does, doesn't it?~~

Riight. All the cowards say that. [':D']

Unfortunately, neither of those applied to your statement! Unless you honestly, honestly could not tell that I don't like worrying about people. ~~Of course. A fan of puns then?~~

Well, if it's cowardice that got me through life, then there's nothing wrong with it. I've had to deal with quite a few dangerous people in me time.

Or maybe I... hm, have lost my ability to think these things through in my current state. Oh well! Yes, fine, sarcasm. ~~Oh, absolutely. Grab one whenever I can.~~

Right, right. Whatever works for you.

046; what the bloody hell?

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