paradisalost | Thirteenth Shot

Entry tags:

kaikaina 'sister' grif

Thirteenth Shot

[Sister has found Tex in the duckpond and is currently throwing pieces of bread for her. Not that Sister knows this is Tex. That would be asking for much too high of a brain function. She has her journal open beside her]

So..who was having tentacle sex? Because, man, that would have been SO awesome. Can you bring the tentacle sex thingie back? I'll look after it, I SWEAR.

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[Tex circles closer to the pond's edge, sticking her snout out of the water. She's not fond of either of them, but Wash is, at the moment, slightly less aggravating on account of knowing enough to offer fish.

Perhaps he has some? She can hope.]

Hey fins, you hungry for something more suitable than bread? Seriously, if I were you, I'd probably hurt her for this once the loss ends. Sharks have all those teeth for a reason. Eating bread isn't it.

[Annoyed] And no, they definitely weren't talking about tentacle sex, you fucking lunatic.

You mean like ducks? She ate a duck. [Pause] What loss?

...Yes they were. I definitely heard the word tentacles.

[Tex's snout pops up again as she passes by once more, angling towards Wash. Her jaws gnash a little bit as she drops back down, and she makes a series of splashes-yes, she'd like something besides bread.]

[Going to totally do the smart thing and wish up a nice big fish and throw it to Tex.] I'm not sure duck is normal shark food, but it's better than bread. They normally eat fish. And that's a person on a loss. Not a normal shark.

There are more things that can involve tentacles out there than that, idiot.

It's not? What is it then? Because it looks like a normal shark to me.

Pffft. Yeah. BORING things.

[The thrown fish gets lunged at and torn to pieces with gusto. After she's done gulping, she snout-pokes towards Wash and splashes repeatedly-the only way she can try and show agreement with him.]

I'm pretty sure that's supposed to be part of it being a loss. They look like normal animals. This one's been answering questions sometimes. You still hungry, shark?

Normal things. Not creepy disgusting thing like you brought up.

That's really weird. Hey! If I turn into an animal, do you think my stupid chastity belt will be gone?

I like my things better. They're hot.

[Splash splash splash! Better to get food when offered than wait and hope that the ducks come back.]

[Wishing up another fish for Tex and tossing it to her. It's a very good thing that he still is completely unaware of who the shark is.] Hell if I know. And I honestly don't want to know the answer to that. Ever.

They are disgusting, just like you.

If it fell off, I could find another animal loss person and get it ooooon.

I know, awesome right?

[The offered fish is ignored for a moment as Tex snout-pokes above to water to stare at Sister, then half-circles to look at Wash. You see what she has to deal with, Wash? She can't even get to a place where Sister isn't pondering horrible thoughts aloud.

She circles again, grabbing at the fish. She'd much rather deal with the fish than Sister.]

I actually kind of pity you right now, shark. Want me to shoot her and save you from the pain of her stupidity?

You are insane and disgusting.

You won't shoot me, because you're a cop and shooting people is bad.

THANKS!

[Tex pokes her snout above the waterline again to look at Wash as she circles around, then flicks her tail in a fast, annoyed swat in Sister's direction. She thinks she's made her opinion clear.]

Don't test me. I'm not a cop, and I would be quite happy with shooting you. And I'm quite sure the shark won't complain.

[That might just be a loaded pistol that Wash is getting out.]

Yeah but if you shot me, you'd make Dexter whine and cry like a bitch.

[Tex circles around at a speedier pace, snout-poking every so often. She's interested in seeing where this goes.]

You know, I honestly don't see where that would be a big deal. I haven't heard a word from him since I arrived as it is. What do you think, shark?

[Totally aiming the gun, debating on if a warning shot would actually effect someone this retarded.]

[Sister will keep staring at you, Wash. Staring forever]

You haven't got the balls.

[Tex keeps circling and snout-poking, eyeballing Sister and Wash in turn. Sister gets an annoyed tailflick in her direction-yes, he's got the balls. Tex would verify this, if only she could talk.]

[Aiming very carefully, Wash pulls the trigger. But he wasn't aiming at her. That bullet would probably be considered uncomfortably close to the head for any rational person though.] I'm feeling generous today. That's your warning shot. One more word and the next one isn't going to miss. And unlike Church, I can actually hit a target.

[Sister responds to this with a flailing of her arms and the sort of whiney sound that can only come from a teenager]

Ugh, you are SO uncool. [SITS]

[Tex drops back into the water, circling at a lazier pace again. The excitement's over, which means it's time to wait and hope for ducks again.]

Thirteenth Shot

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