♟ o28

[invokes.livejournal.com]

[ room filter ]

[ gil hasn't been in his room lately, trying to get out more. fresh air and all that jazz. anything to keep him distracted with recent events and the fact elliot really knocked him around verbally earlier.

he pauses outside his door, feeling something is very wrong. slowly, he turns the knob and pushes the door open quietly and immediately spots a figure in the dark of his room-- in his bed? so, he reaches for his gun and points it at whoever or whatever it is-- flicking the light open at once ]

[ sometime later. or before elliot. OH PARADISA TIME. ]

[ allen ]

Are you available right now?

Comments

[invokes.livejournal.com]

[ gives an annoyed look as he re-enters ]

Again?

[imply.livejournal.com]

[of course it was again. >: he just wanted to be close and you keep doing the whole 'lalalala i'm not seeing itttt' thing you brute.]

I DIDN'T CARE IF YOU SLEPT ENOUGH OR IF ANYTHING SMELLED OF ASH! WHY DO YOU KEEP PUSHING ME AWAY LIKE THAT AFTER SAYING YOU'RE GOING TO TRY HARDER NOT TO?! MAKE UP YOUR MIND!

[invokes.livejournal.com]

HOW AM I PUSHING YOU AWAY NOW?! IT'S NOT LIKE I NEED THE REST RIGHT NOW!

1/2

[imply.livejournal.com]

[loooong silence.]

[imply.livejournal.com]

You don't even realize what you just said, do you. You said I.

Maybe...

Just maybe I wanted you to act like an older brother should. But you just can't stand up to me, can you. You can't see what's inside. Maybe, for once, I wanted to hear you actually say that you wanted me around instead of just doing so when it was convenient. That everything would be all right even if we both knew it would only have been a lie.

But you have a weak constitution. You can barely keep yourself together as it is. It was selfish of me to think otherwise.

Look.

I don't want to argue any more, Gilbert. It's always one step forward, two steps back. You only keep hurting me.

1/2

[invokes.livejournal.com]

[ elliot's right. this compromise was bound to fail quickly. even if he tried to be a brother to elliot, it was mostly to break the awkward tension between them. he wanted to fix it, fix everything he had done. all those bridges he had burned but he just didn't know how. ]

[invokes.livejournal.com]

...you're right. I can't make this right. I've been running for so long, I don't even know how to face my own family.

[ heads towards the other room (thank para for that, eh?), because at this point they'll argue the whole night... week away and they both need rest. at least to cool off for now. ]

I've tried but I can't be who others want me to be. I thought maybe... I could deny myself a little more but... I suppose not.

[imply.livejournal.com]

One day, though. One day you'll be able to. It's not about denying yourself anything. That's only selfish because in doing so, you are only hurting the others around you and you don't even realise it. They wouldn't want you to do something like that. I still have hopes for you though. There'll be someone out there who needs you and you'll finally be able to do it.

Go get some rest, please.

[He had really thought about just leaving but in the end he stayed. He let Gil walk into the other room for the moment, letting him have his space. His real plan was to simply wait until Gil was laying down and 'confront' him once more. he still had a few more words to be said.]

[invokes.livejournal.com]

Goodnight, Elliot.

[ he slips into the other room and flops onto the other couch that's in there. he needed... a cigarette so badly. so very badly. throwing his head back, he put his hand against his face and sighed. ]

[imply.livejournal.com]

Goodnight to you as well, Gil.

[...not that he planned on going to sleep right away. he pulled back down the covers and seemed to move around enough to get comfortable, but in the end he was really just sitting on the edge of the bed. waiting.]

[invokes.livejournal.com]

[ except he's not sleeping. rather-- he's busy smoking like a chimney. he cracked. cracked under all the pressure. ]

[imply.livejournal.com]

[can you feel that disappointment, Gil? because it's directed right at you. HE KNOWS.

and he'll save that lecture for tomorrow.]

[invokes.livejournal.com]

[ it's better that way. gil needs the nicotine to recover a little. ]

[imply.livejournal.com]

[it's also not really like Elliot had much hope in Gil ever really quitting anyway. that whole weak constitution and all.]