Freelancer York (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
encryptedlock) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
paradisalost2010-01-09 07:45 am
encryptedlock) wrote in paradisalost2010-01-09 07:45 am
Entry tags:
70.0
[Dictated in a shaky voice.]
[Filtered to those who still consider themselves Castle Residents]
...Hi. This is Freelancer York, and I'm in the Dead Zone. Making it out here broke the...compulsion. It's not comfortable here - I can still hear the damn place calling for me - but I'm myself again.
I can't leave, because I sure as hell don't want to lose control again, but if you can get your friends out here, it might help them.
[/Filter]
[Friends]
[This is one of those "if you think you can see this, you can" filters.]
I know I've been acting like the world's biggest douchebag, but if you hear me out, I'd really appreciate it. When I was saying those things, I didn't think any of you were, well, you. I--I'd forgotten I ever had friends named Ken and Chie and Washington. I forgot that'd I'd ever lived anywhere else, or why it was important to me. All I could feel was this constant humming telling me I was loved, I was home, I was going to stay forever and wasn't that just the neatest thing ever and didn't I love this place, too?
[He breaks off for a moment to take a few deep breaths. York is bitter and angry and it hurts to say these things, but...the sooner he can start reversing the damage, the better chance he thinks he has of salvaging something from the life he used to have.]
Anyway. They were all lies. Home's not a place, not a city and not a castle. It's you guys. If I want to stay here forever, it's because I want to eat all the kinds of bread there are with Guilmon and joke around with Anya and have a drink at Lorne's and get pizza with Parker. Because I want to help the Cube understand us and help River get better and explore this whole goddamn place with the Doctors, and maybe even find a way to come and go so the rest of you with lives to get back to don't have to worry anymore.
So what I mean is that I'm sorry. And I know you guys are working to help us and thank you. Because whether we act like it or not, we need you.
York out.
[Filtered to those who still consider themselves Castle Residents]
...Hi. This is Freelancer York, and I'm in the Dead Zone. Making it out here broke the...compulsion. It's not comfortable here - I can still hear the damn place calling for me - but I'm myself again.
I can't leave, because I sure as hell don't want to lose control again, but if you can get your friends out here, it might help them.
[/Filter]
[Friends]
[This is one of those "if you think you can see this, you can" filters.]
I know I've been acting like the world's biggest douchebag, but if you hear me out, I'd really appreciate it. When I was saying those things, I didn't think any of you were, well, you. I--I'd forgotten I ever had friends named Ken and Chie and Washington. I forgot that'd I'd ever lived anywhere else, or why it was important to me. All I could feel was this constant humming telling me I was loved, I was home, I was going to stay forever and wasn't that just the neatest thing ever and didn't I love this place, too?
[He breaks off for a moment to take a few deep breaths. York is bitter and angry and it hurts to say these things, but...the sooner he can start reversing the damage, the better chance he thinks he has of salvaging something from the life he used to have.]
Anyway. They were all lies. Home's not a place, not a city and not a castle. It's you guys. If I want to stay here forever, it's because I want to eat all the kinds of bread there are with Guilmon and joke around with Anya and have a drink at Lorne's and get pizza with Parker. Because I want to help the Cube understand us and help River get better and explore this whole goddamn place with the Doctors, and maybe even find a way to come and go so the rest of you with lives to get back to don't have to worry anymore.
So what I mean is that I'm sorry. And I know you guys are working to help us and thank you. Because whether we act like it or not, we need you.
York out.