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[broken-clock.livejournal.com]

[the Doctor's dream has changed, truly and utterly; you step in scorching shadows that smell of blood, stumble over corpses (some are strangers; some are old friends), hear desperate screams and deafening gun shots and furious roars

he is running through it all, bruised and bloody and battered, trying desperately to save a friend, and they keep changing, from a girl he can't remember to a boy he knows only after death to a man he should want to kill; sometimes he's carrying a vial, and sometimes he isn't

you may stumble into a burning lab, holding a mutilated madman and a pale, prone figure; it might even be you

every time he reaches the surface, the dream loops, and he's in the caves once more]

((Eventually, he'll be in the Eye again. Until then, have fun in the caves of Androzani. Mind the magma beast and try not to get shot.))

Comments

[queendramabitch.livejournal.com]

[that only intensifies the sick feeling, and her next thought comes out half-formed, distant, and highly unhappy]

...I have no right to be...

[broken-clock.livejournal.com]

[closes his eyes, his hand slipping away]

That doesn't matter.

[queendramabitch.livejournal.com]

[the heat feels choking]

No? Doesn't it? ...you can't have forgiven me for what I did...

[broken-clock.livejournal.com]

That doesn't mean I don't still - care.

[queendramabitch.livejournal.com]

[she's still not looking at him, because if she does she might vomit or throw herself into his arms, she doesn't know which; instead she keeps looking at her dream self, pale and still and almost lifeless-looking]

So you haven't...

[broken-clock.livejournal.com]

[swallows, looking away]

I don't know.

[after a moment he looks back, slowly]

Would you take it back, if you could?

[queendramabitch.livejournal.com]

[vaguely curious, she reaches out and touches her dream self's forehead, too, just for a moment; after several moments of silence, with the odd word escaping her mind]

I think I would. It didn't help anything. It only made things worse.

[broken-clock.livejournal.com]

[again, he closes his eyes]

It never does. [slowly shakes his head, before opening them again] I've been tortured a good deal in my long life, Lucy. What hurt... [softly] I don't know if I can trust you again.

[queendramabitch.livejournal.com]

[and that is what hurt Lucy the most, too--knowing she'd ruined what they had, and all for nothing; she closes her eyes too, because she's determined not to cry]

You never should have at all, dear...

[broken-clock.livejournal.com]

[whispers] I still miss it.

[queendramabitch.livejournal.com]

[that creates a sharp onslaught of unhappiness, and Lucy's eyes prickle uncomfortably; she hugs her arms tightly across her stomach]

Sometimes I wish it was still just us two, and no one else...

[broken-clock.livejournal.com]

[his eyes widen, at that, and he takes a small step forward, just a bit closer]

I wish I could make it easier.

[queendramabitch.livejournal.com]

[Lucy doesn't move, just keeps hugging herself miserably]

Make what easier?

[broken-clock.livejournal.com]

[vague, frustrated gesture]

This. Everything. Us.

[queendramabitch.livejournal.com]

[still hugging herself, she drops her head until her chin touches her chest and her hair--limp and stringy from the heat--slips off her shoulders]

You would never choose me, though... you would always go back to HIM... and I don't want to be anyone's seconds. Not even yours. Sometimes... I wish I could kill him, make him go away forever, and then he wouldn't be in the way any more...

[broken-clock.livejournal.com]

[softly] You've already chosen your Master over me.

[queendramabitch.livejournal.com]

[she wants to imagine that he's standing just behind her, but she doesn't dare turn to look, and her head is a sickening swirl of pain and loathing and wanting and fear; the words come out quiet and distant]

...but if he wasn't here...but if he leaves...I don't know what I would do...

[broken-clock.livejournal.com]

[and the words are out before he can stop them]

I won't let you be alone.

[queendramabitch.livejournal.com]

[she remembers what it was like when he would hold her, and at that moment she wants it so badly it makes her bones ache; this conflict in her head, loving her husband more than life itself but wanting what she and the Doctor had before things began to go south, it's tearing her apart]

I already feel so alone, sometimes...