He looked up at her, holding her gaze for a long drawn out moment before he dropped it again, a self-conscious heat coming to his cheeks. He'd been in Paradisa for nearly a year and so much had happened between them since then. So much lost ground recovered; new, stronger bonds forged. Yet, still, the past did sometimes intrude. Unwelcome and irrational. Scars which had faded but not completely healed over.

"I never wanted to. But I did. I have. What you went through in Pylea, I read it on the wall, Fred. I read it all. It just makes what I did that much worse. Gunn was able to fight it, I wasn't."

He knew that she'd forgiven him for his actions, but there was always that awareness that had he not assaulted her, perhaps things might have gone a different way. A different chain of events might have occurred rather than those which had spiraled into tragedy.

"If we do this, it's a big step for us. A natural one, of course, but still, I -- I'm terrified of screwing this up, Fred. Of screwing it all up. I've never been happier. I keep waiting for the proverbial penny to drop."

He reached out with his free hand. To just rest it on her hip, lightly, but still with an intent behind it which gave away how unmoored he felt.