blog fifty-five: HIT IT!

[bro-codebreaker.livejournal.com]

((OOC: You knew it was coming, Para.))

[Barney's on his way back from his shift at the 'Kat, trying to chat up some cute town regular who came in. and we're talking, REALLY cute. the whole package AND the bag of chips. she's even got her cutest, tiniest 'yay it's spring out' outfit on. he's SO close to talking her back to his room, when ...]

I'm sorry, I just ... I can't.

What? Why not?

It's that suit. Nobody around here dresses like that. It makes me feel kind of ... awkward.

Well, the whole point IS to take it off ...

No, that's not what I ... I'll tell you what. If you show up tomorrow in clothes like everyone here in town wears, I'll think about it.

[raises an eyebrow at her, then shakes his head] Heh, no way. But can I at least get a smooch for the road?

[she slaps him, in spectacular fashion, and goes storming off, as dramatic piano music drifts up from nowhere. Barney rubs his cheek, then turns to the few onlookers nearby]

♪I know what you're thinkin':
"What's Barney been drinkin'?
That girl was smokin' hot!"
Yes, I could'a nailed her,
But no, it's not a failure -
Cuz there's one thing she is not!

Toooo score a ten would be just fine -
But I'd rather be dressed to the nines!
It's a truth you can't refu-u-u-uuuuuute:
NOTHIN' SUITS ME LIKE A SUIT! ♪


[he starts dancing down the street as he sings]

♪ Picture a world where all the boys n' girls
Are impeccably well-dressed!
The Candy Bonsai guy in a jacket and tie
A Pokemon in a double-breast!
That baker dude with mutton-chops
THAT BABY WITH A LOLLIPOP!
That lady cop who's kinda cu-u-u-ute:
Nothin' suits them like a suit!

A wingman I can wear -
But oh so debonair!
The perfect way to snare
A girl with daddy issues! ♪

[stops in front of a suit store and ogles a bunch of them all lined up in the window]
♪ In navy blue, or black -
Check out this perfect rack!
I want to give them a squeeeeeeze..... ♪